Rotten

well, it finally happened. i started drinking again. it's shocked me how quickly it took over my life again. a littie over 3 weeks, and i'm back throwing up yellow bile into the toilet bowl again, sleeping all day to escape the pain, not daring to answer the phone... all back in full effect.
i've not drunk for 3 days now, basically because i could not. i can safely say, life without beer is better- it cant be any worse. time to start working the programme and change my alcoholic thinking.

Dan

Felt like beating yourself up eh? Well you're three days back and that's something. I needed many extra lessons too. Welcome back then, to the living!

Dan

Justme57

Oh! Adam ! I am so sorry ! I was wondering where you were .

You know , you can learn from this , Remember when I picked up after 6 days ? You are not the only one , but use it to KNOW that this is cunning and progressive !

Welcome back, You know the drill, ............ one day at a time

HUGX and LUV

Lee

PM me anytime

ted

your name fits the way alcohol affected me in the end ROTTEN.not wanting to live and not wanting to die,just wishing and hoping for the maddness to stop.three days is a good start my friend!stick around and get well. ted :sweat bigbook-3rd edit.page 30 we learned we had to fully concede to our innermost selves we were alcoholics.this is the first step in recovery.

MootPoint

Welcome back, Adam. I've been wondering where you were too. The most important part is that you're back. And..... you've learned a valuable, if painful, lesson!

You know what to do from here on out.

The Jay Walker

Looks like you know what to do next, welcome back.

Jay

Alice Wonder

((((((Rotten)))))) here is a hug. sobriety is a practice to me and i needed lots of extra practice. try to not beat yourself up too badly,take baby steps if you need to, and a couple of deep breaths. you can do this! alice

Rotten

Thanks for your thoughts folks. It looks as though I did indeed need to be beaten up one more time and what a kicking it was. I need to actually apply those very simple trueisms that adorn my home groups meetings; keep it simple (my take up till now, keep it as complex as possible, easy does it (work like a lunatic), grant me the serenity (rage, rage, rage).
I'm pretty sure that some of the programme has sunk in, I have at least a little more calm than I did, and if I avoid bringing stress upon myself, then staying sober wil be easier. I am not as lost as and as frightened as when I first came here and my mind is clearer, but I have to change my whole outlook, the dry drunk outlook just does not work.
Thanks to you all for being there - this time I'll try to stick around - I know it's when I stop communicating that I start drinking.

"I hurt myself today, to see if I still feel. I focus on the pain the only thing that's real..." NiN / Jonny Cash

ted

IT'S AMAZING HOW MANY ASS WHOPPINS I'VE TAKEN,PRIZE FIGHTER THAT JUST WOULN'T STAY DOWN.THERE IS A BETTER WAY,THIS YOU KNOW! STAY STRONG. ted

Kathi

Hi Rotten,

Sorry you had a "hiccup" in your recovery . You are now here that's the most important thing. And you are helping me and I'm sure others by letting us know how easy it is to "hiccup". I'm 37 day sober and sometimes think I could have just one - in fact, I was thinking that last night. You're experience reminds me that I can't.

Big hugs to you - Kathi

In memory of miracle

Congradulations on your three days back,that is quite an accomplisment!!! I been where you are more times than I care to count,one more attempt one more failure!!Hang in there every day is precious..Keep the faith!!!Trish

Anna

Hi Rotten,

I'm sorry you've been having a rough time. You're right, keeping in touch with other people can really help. Keep communicating and stay in the moment. Be kind to yourself. That was something I could never manage to do, but I hope for your sake that you can be kind to yourself.

Love, Anna

NotThatThirsty

Welcome back !
I too had to experiment a bit (3 miserable years the last time) before I grabbed ahold of recovery like a life preserver (which is exactly what is for me)... My experiences "out there" as well as other's "slips" keep me on my toes and remind me just how tricky this disease is. I know I can go out and drink any time I want to but what I don't know is if I'll be able to make it back. Glad you made it back and 3 days is a good chunk of time You said yourself what it's time to do, so...
Peace and Love
-Josh

Rotten

thanks for your thoughts and virtual hugs everyone. at the moment everythings going well. i've taken time out from my business to 'do things properly' and easily. It makes things better, if my experience stops another person from making the same mistake. Kathi, if you're an alcoholic you can no more have one drink than i can, so please dont - it really is not worth it. it's strange; you lie to yourself - and you KNOW you are lying to yourself - but you still take that 'one' drink. and next thing you know you're in a world of pain.
Peace to you all

Chy

Glad your back! Your not the only one who realized the experiment doesn't work but you know what to do as Jay said so we're here for ya!

dotcom

Rotten,

my name is dot and im an addict. im not an alcoholic, but i know a thing or two about falling off the wagon and getting dragged along the trail face down. i admire your desire to stay sober, i will keep you in my prayers. hang in there rotten!

hugs and prayers,

dot

Jhana

Hi Adam,

Great to see you here; as far as I am concerned, we, all of us, only have one day which is today. It's what we do today that counts!

Hugs, Gianna

In memory of miracle

Yup,the diseae is a big fat liar!!!

Rotten

hi folks, still here and still sober. feeling a bit spacey today though, and already starting to think well maybe i can have another binge in a couple of months, bonkers! Anf this is the easy bit though - when i feel ill its easier not to drink. its when i feel well, 3months last time, 4 this time. i can only hope that i don't forget this time. still need to work on changing my thinking. arrrgh!
thanks to you all for being there.

Justme57

Morning Rotten,

So glad you are still hanging in there . You know we are cheering you on !





HUGX
Lee