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5 months sober and a little lost....

Old 10-25-2012, 10:19 PM
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5 months sober and a little lost....

5 months sober today, and I should be doing better than I am.

I'm finding it near impossible to reach a balance in my life. I am working very hard, long stressful days, and I'm not sleeping well.
This week I've missed all my meetings through work commitments, and through being too plain exhausted.

I'm not close to drinking, but I've lost momentum. Work and not sobriety has become my number 1 focus.

I'm feeling overwhelmed and a little lost.

Still, I've got a week off after today, I need to push through step 5, and move forward. I guess I for the first time am having a nagging doubt about whether I will make it. Just admitting this has helped.
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Old 10-25-2012, 11:04 PM
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HI Jeni

Congrats again on 5 months

I'm sober...but I don't always have all the answers...there are times when I've felt lost too and still do.

I think that's ok - that's normal for anyone, alcoholic or not, and there's nothing to say we have to be superhuman - we just have to not drink about it

I'd be looking for more support right now tho, not less?

I know work is kicking your butt, but balance is really really important.
I'm not being melodramatic when I say that without my recovery everything else I hold dear really is at risk.

I've been there done that and nearly lost it.
From bitter experience I know if I'm too lopsided I'm likely to fall over.

what would be the worst thing to happen if you didn't meet some work deadlines, Jeni?

D
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Old 10-25-2012, 11:57 PM
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You can do it Jeni! Growth doesn't always feel good. Hang in there.
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Old 10-26-2012, 12:30 AM
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Originally Posted by Jeni26 View Post
Work and not sobriety has become my number 1 focus.
That's a problem...I know for myself...Without sobriety...there would be no work. Get your fifth step done and keep moving forward...Good things are about to come for you...Don't stop to over think things. Here's your fifth step promises.


We pocket our pride and go to it, illuminating every twist of character, every dark cranny of the past. Once we have taken this step, withholding nothing, we are delighted. We can look the world in the eye. We can be alone at perfect peace and ease. Our fears fall from us. We begin to feel the nearness of our Creator. We may have had certain spiritual beliefs, but now we begin to have a spiritual experience. The feeling that the drink problem has disappeared will often come strongly. We feel we are on the Broad Highway, walking hand in hand with the Spirit of the Universe..
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Old 10-26-2012, 02:19 AM
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Morning Jeni

I'm sorry to hear that you're down in the dumps.

You're doing so well and have been a big support to the likes of me.

Dee is right there, we all have our black cloud days, whether drinking or sober, that's life.

I know work has been getting you down a lot. This week when you're off, have you made any plans for your self? You'll be able to catch up on a few meetings, but maybe have some time out just for you. Have your hair done, pamper yourself etc. Think about number one for a change. Exercise is a good stress buster, even if it just means going for a walk, helps you sleep better too,

Don't bottle things up, share here, it makes you feel better for putting your feelings down on paper, helps you put things into perspective somehow!

I hope you feel better very soon. You know where we are day or night.
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Old 10-26-2012, 02:42 AM
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Hi Jenni

I have had similar feelings this past couple of weeks.

For me it seems to be all work, house work and being exhausted.
No-one seems to invite me to their house for a cuppa and I think it's because they know I don't drink.
My birthday passed by with no-one contacting me to see if I wanted to meet up. In fact I was in bed by 9.30pm reading on here.

Part of me thinks it's the weather.
The dark nights and cold make me not want to do anything.

I know if I go to a meeting I feel a lot better for it. Surrounding myself with people who care about me.

If I lived near you Jen, I would love to meet up and have a gossip and a hot chocolate. Maybe we could even go to the cinema and watch the new bond film too!

Take lots of care of your lovely self.

xxxX
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Old 10-26-2012, 03:37 AM
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Congrats on 5 months Jeni.

When anything gets in front of sobirety we have issues.

I have actually been doing much better only bcause of one thing. I put being sober first. Even above my partner. Thats a first for me.

You are a very strong person. You can make it through this rough patch. I know you can. It will get better!

((((((HUGS)))))))

Ken
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Old 10-26-2012, 10:06 AM
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Thankyou all so much.

I will be ok, just exhausted.

Your replies mean a lot to me x
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Old 10-26-2012, 10:27 AM
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yes, you will be okay as long as ya keep God in control in the midst of the storm and keep on trudgin.
lack of sleep makes me pretty whacked,too.
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Old 10-26-2012, 10:44 AM
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Thumbs up

A constant reminder that I can't have
what I have today if I don't have recovery.
Without recovery I wouldnt have what I
have today. No recovery program to follow
and incorperate in my everyday life then I
surely wouldnt be sober, happy, honest, etc.

I almost lost everything 22 yrs ago and when
family sought the help I so desperately needed
at theat time in my life, I accepted it as a gift
and chose to do the footwork that so many others
did to stay sober each day.

The journey in recovery that I began was work
and a willingness on my part to do whatever I
needed to do to the best of my ability each day
to get me where I am today.

Im sober still but my journey is far from over. Infact
I look forward to seeing what else is in store for me
down the road and continue to pray for guidance and
strength along the way.
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Old 10-26-2012, 11:24 AM
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Originally Posted by Jeni26 View Post
5 months sober today, and I should be doing better than I am.

I'm finding it near impossible to reach a balance in my life. I am working very hard, long stressful days, and I'm not sleeping well.
This week I've missed all my meetings through work commitments, and through being too plain exhausted.

I'm not close to drinking, but I've lost momentum. Work and not sobriety has become my number 1 focus.

I'm feeling overwhelmed and a little lost.

Still, I've got a week off after today, I need to push through step 5, and move forward. I guess I for the first time am having a nagging doubt about whether I will make it. Just admitting this has helped.
5 months sober today, and I should be doing better than I am. Says who?

I'm finding it near impossible to reach a balance in my life. Me too.. but I've only been at this 23 yrs

I am working very hard, long stressful days, and I'm not sleeping well.
This week I've missed all my meetings through work commitments, and through being too plain exhausted.

I'm not close to drinking, but I've lost momentum. Work and not sobriety has become my number 1 focus.


I'm feeling overwhelmed and a little lost. Normal feeling ... see above text.


Still, I've got a week off after today, I need to push through step 5, and move forward.
Slowing down and catching breath is also an option.

I guess I for the first time am having a nagging doubt about whether I will make it. Just admitting this has helped What did your sponsor say about your situation?

All the best Jeni

Bob R
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Old 10-26-2012, 11:53 AM
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Hang in there Jeni....I know how work/job can throw a wrench into your plans for serenity & sobriety. Keep your sobriety 1st and as others mentioned, without it, everything else can be at risk. Balance is an ongoing job...we all struggle with it especially when it comes to our work. I often try to put what I do at work in perspective: am I saving lives? (no.) what I do or don't get done effect the world as a whole? (no.)...Plus we all hit those 'stuck points' in our recovery and that's when I know I have to hit more meetings or reach out to others in the fellowship. 5 months is solid--you are on your way. Just keep digging in!
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Old 10-26-2012, 12:04 PM
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Congratulations on 5 months!

I also have a hard time finding balance in my life between work, the program, my relationship with my boyfriend, and other things. I also feel like I should be doing better after being sober for over a year. In a lot of ways I am doing better but there is always room for more improvement. I used for 15 years so how much can really change in one year? It takes time. It's a process. I felt good after Step 5. I think just talking about everything with my sponsor and looking at things from a different angle took away some of the power these things had over me for years and years. Keep moving forward and it will all be ok
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Old 10-26-2012, 01:56 PM
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Hi Jeni,

I always like to follow what you're doing because our sobriety dates are one day apart. It sounds like you could use this upcoming time off to do some reflection. I think one thing I have noticed is that when I first got sober everyone treated me with kid gloves. I was not expected to fully participate within my family and was off work at the time. Slowly, things have returned to "normal" and expectations are that I be a fully functioning adult. Except I really don't do that well. Balance is a challenge to me as well. I am working the program, working at work, working at my marriage and my relationship with my kids. Plus all the other usual life crap-money, chores, etc. I'm trying to take life as life comes. I can only do so much and be so much. I can feel when I am not right-I get confused, indecisive thinking. I'm not thinking about or considering drinking at all, however. But when I feel tired/off, I don't ignore it. I try to get more sleep, talk to my sponsor, go to a meeting or listen to one on the internet, whatever it takes.
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Old 10-26-2012, 02:08 PM
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Don't put too much pressure on yourself Jeni x I am starting to realise that a lot of the stuff that stresses me out is down to perfectionism or second guessing what other people think I should be doing. You don't have to be superwoman

Well done on 5 months! You have come so far and you have the rest of your life to be sober x
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Old 10-26-2012, 02:26 PM
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Thanks jennikate, and congratulations on 5 months for you x

Hypo-as always, you are a solid and loyal friend to me, and see me through so much. I would be lost without you. Thankyou.
I'm determined to get myself back onto an even keel over the next week. Concentrate on getting back into meetings,speak to my sponsor. She always tells me that she spent her drinking years feeling miserable and there is no way she's going to spend her recovering years feeling the same way. She sort of knocks some sense into me. She laughs a lot. And that's how I want to be too. She also works long hours.
God, as I was typing this on my phone, I just got a text from her come through...how spooky is that?!
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Old 10-26-2012, 02:42 PM
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Your sponsor sounds ace Jeni!
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Old 10-26-2012, 02:50 PM
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Jeni you are doing great.
Well done on your 5 months.
Change takes time honey.
Respect to you.
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Old 10-26-2012, 03:16 PM
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Jeni: 5 months is such an accomplishment, hopefully this next week, as everyone else has mentioned will give you time to recharge and reflect. Take care of yourself.
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Old 10-27-2012, 04:12 AM
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My first home group met at 7 a.m. ....I loved catching a meeting
before I had to be at work...

Way to go on your 5 sober months...
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