trailrunrbyday

I am very very early into trying to beat this thing. So new I drink as I type.. plan is for tomorrow to be day 1. What or who makes a good sponsor. I have an acquaintance who has no clue I drink(or so I think) that I would like to confide in/pull support from...she is about 2 years sober. I also have another friend who is 40 years sober but not sure what I should be looking for in a sponsor or if that is someone you connect with through a program or if it can be someone you just bring on board as part of a team to help you???? Suggestions?

trailrunrbyday

oh and if one of these people might be a good candidate...HOW do I start that conversation..... I fear it being awkward.

RobC420

In AA, a sponsor is someone who helps you as you work the 12 steps of the program. They're usually someone who has gone through the steps themselves and are living a sober life.

The general suggestion is that you go to meetings and listen. If you hear someone that you can really relate to and they have what you want, then you ask them to be your sponsor and tell you how they recovered.

People in AA all know about the whole sponorship thing so you don't really have to awkwardly start up a conversation with someone about it. You just go up to them and ask.

Hopeworks

trailrunbyday,

You can call AA (they are in the phonebook or google their local number) and tell them you want to stop drinking and would like to talk to someone about how to go about it and get a temporary sponsor.

Or... you can attend a meeting (call AA or look up online) and do the same thing. AA members will be happy to visit you, help you with any questions or finding a sponsor.

Good luck.

CarolD

Here is the fficial AA guideline on sponsorship....

Alcoholics Anonymous : Pamphlets

Many meetings have free copies on their literature rack too.

Glad you are heading into a sober healthy future...it was the
best thing I ever did for myself and others..

It's always a good idea to ask your doctor about how best to
de tox....be both safe and sober.

keithj

A sponsor in AA is someone that has experienced a spiritual awakening as the result of the Steps, and has the time and willingness to share with you what they have done, and can help guide you through your own journey through the Steps so that you, too, may experience that spiritual awakening as the result of the Steps, and subsequently recover from alcoholism.

bbthumper

It is usually recommended that it be someone of the same gender and someone who you are not already in a close relationship with. The steps require that you share some things that can potentially put strain on an existing relationship if shared with the wrong people.
As mentioned the sponsor is there to take you through the 12 steps. If they havent been through the steps themselves they really have no business sponsoring IMO. Your best bet is to go to a couple of meetings and listen. Also, most meetings have a secretary. You can always tell the secretary that you are looking for a sponsor and they should help you out.

Best wishes to you!

onlythetruth

I suggest you go to a few AA meetings before selecting a sponsor. First, it's a good idea to know someone a little bit before asking them; second, you'll want to have the sense that you want to use AA as your recovery program.

YVRguy

I'd agree that a sponsor should not be a friend or existing close relationship. What I like about my sponsor is he and I are at a good place but not close so he can be totally honest and not have a lot of baggage to consider as he takes me through the steps.

Not all parts of the steps in AA are all that easy and it may take some determination on both sides to get through the tougher parts.

You can get a temporary sponsor to get you started and then get to know some of the old timers and you might find one you can work with. I did and I also have a pile of good old timers to lend a hand along the way without being my sponsor.

Check out a meeting you like and the secretary/chair people can usually help.

trailrunrbyday

I was thinking of the woman i turned to who got me set up with my first meeting (last night)..I was too scared to say much more than my name. The woman I turned to is an aquaintance but I also really hit it off with a woman last night at the meeting who seems to be quite similar to me in many ways.... will feel it out over the next little bit but I have them both on speed dial LOL