labyrinth

I was a heavy drinker and have been clean now for 34 for days. the last 2 months of drinking my mind slipped into a major fog I could not think. my short term memeory was basicaly gone, Depersonalazation,derealazation (sorry bad speller) massive anxiety attacks, loss of sense of time i.e 5 min seems like and hour under panic or stress what seems like only five mins passing is realy an hour. Major confusion. dizziness. there was no way I could drive. it was very hard to read or concentrate on anything. Massive mood changes. Any little thing stresses me out and makes all my symptoms worse. I am 25 years old and scared to death my life is ruined. I am in rehab,see a doc once a week, go to AA, and take antaabuse. I have used drugs in the past weed a little, cocaine twice, shroom once. and have tripped on xtc about 35 times BUt I have been off all drugs for a year and a half so I am haveing a hard time thinking they had anything to do with this. My doc and rehab counsler tell me this will go away an that this happens to alot of people who abuse alcohol to the extent I did, But I can find no simialer stories on any board I have been on. Oh one last thought everyone keeps saying it is part of post accute withdrawal. But these symptoms accured the min I woke up and did not go away even thou I was still drinking everynight, they only got worse.

I would be very grateful for any thoughts or personal accounts regarding this matter

best

hmmm reading your post makes me think.
I have had many of those things at one time or another. I never connected them to the drinking. Just thought it was part of who I am.
Would veg out so they say. Just let my mind go blank and not think of anything. Or maybe so I thought?
Do you smoke cigarettes?
Closed windows of winter. Smoking/stuffy air. I still get some of those things today. When you get those feelings, see if fresh air helps. Oxygen to the brain or lack there of from a stuffy room with closed windows.
As our bodies repair themself, such things should go away. Each day clean/sober is a day more the body can work on repair.
Being older I blame things on my age *LOL*
Find things to do. Keep busy and you won't even notice them as much.

Rudiger

Labyrinth,

I'm Rudiger and an alcoholic. You are not alone in your experience. Before I quit I was drinking about a fifth of vodka with countless beers every day as my body needed the stuff to function.

Post accute withdrawl is different for everyone from what I understand. It is predictable though in that it is not permanant.

I recall that in my sober beginnings that I thought it would never end. I felt very similar to what you are describing and it seemed like the others around me were not experiencing the same thing as me. It is true that some, like you and I, take a bit more time. After 60 days I thought there was something very wrong with me. I had lost about 35 lbs. and could still not sleep more than 2 or three hours a day. I relate to how it hits you the moment you wake from sleep. Sometimes it felt like a bad acid trip or like somebody was poisening me with amphetamines.

With the support of a few good friends (guys who had been in my shoes before) and counselors from the rehab I attended, I found patience and stuck it out. They told me it would pass and that what I was experiencing was normal. Sometime before 90 days passed I was feeling better than I had felt in ten years. My mind had a focus that I hadn't experienced since long ago and my sleeping and eating became much healthier and easier. It sure is worth the effort and it is good for me to remember how that was today in case I ever think that it may be ok to drink again. I DO NOT want to do that again.

I think you are probobly right around the corner from being a more comfortable you and your sobriety will be strong when the worst is over.

Keep your resolve and please talk to us here about it all. There are some very wize and helpfull people around these forums I've noticed.

Rudiger

Justme57

This is a link someone here gave me when I was 30 days sober , and was feeling like you , hope it helps

HUGX
Lee

http://www.tlctx.com/ar_pages/paw_part1.htm

Don S

Hi, labyrinth,
It does pass, your mental acuity does improve. You're not alone in these symptoms. Exercise really helps, as does mental exercise: writing, reading, doing puzzles, and actively engaging your brain. Doing things that require close attention to detail: photography, drawing, playing a musical instrument, etc. It doesn't matter how bad you are at first!
Anxiety diminished steadily for me. It wasn't immediate, but anxiety and panic attacks reduced in severity and frequency. After a while I realized I hadn't had an episode in many days, and I haven't had one since.
Journaling can be very helpful, so that you can check back on your progress. Doing something every day to reinforce your sobriety is useful, so check in here each day and let us know how it's going.
Thanks for posting,
Don S

labyrinth

Yes I smoke. And I due find that sitting in the sunshine oustside in a wide open space does help a little with the dizziness but the confusion still remains a strong constant. MY doctor told dont even think about quitting becasue of the stress of doing so.

labyrinth

It is funnly you gave me that link. I stumbled upon it about 3 weeks ago and I swear I have read it aleast 150 times becasue everytime I do I feel better
(and sinse I cant remberer antyhing Its like reading it for the first time everytime LOL)

Thanks
Steve

Justme57

Thats good Steve , I found it very reassuring , when it was sent to me .

Just be assured , it WILL get better! I am now nearly 6 months sober, and it has improved out of sight !

hang in there !

HUGX
Lee

Pancreas

Steve,

I was depressed while drinking and have depression and anxiety after being sober 44 days. I share most of your symptoms but they are improving. I still find myself standing in the middle of the room thinking, what did I just get up to do? I read the big book every day but my comprehension is not what it used to be so I take alot of notes. If I didn't put all my appointments in Outlook I would miss half of them.

Know one thing, being fearful is normal and part of all of our recovery process. Sometimes we need to live with a little fear and have faith that it will get better over time. It took years of drinking to get to the position you're in, let your recovery run at a pace that is right for you and don't push too hard too fast, that will only cause stress and grief.

Kepp at it and keep posting!

Chy

In recovery we begin growing from the day we quit. We grow mentally, physically and spiritually. It all get's better over time. Though some day's are harder then others, allow yourself to be patient with yourself. It takes time. Slowly, but surely it will be okay.

NotThatThirsty

Hey Steve,
I can remember one of the first meetings with my counselor when I got into treatment the last time and some of the things I told him about anxiety, worry, depression, confusion, etc... He got me an appointment with a Psychiatrist cuz he was thinking I might have some other problems going on in my head besides alcohol withdrawl (dual-diagnosis)... It took a week to get to see the shrink, and by the time I sat down with him, I had gone to plenty of meetings, groups, done a lot of reading, etc. and the intensity of my previous thoughts and feelings had gone. So I was sitting there talking to this guy and I couldn't really get my head back where it was a week before; couldn't think of anything really bothering me. Just see if you can make it one day at a time and try to do things to occupy your time like reading, excercising, writing, anything constructive... Whatever you can do to get out of your self. Where I stayed, we had Plenty of Chores to keep us busy, and stuff like that made me feel useful and a part of the community even if it did kinda suck.
Oh, another thing that helped me was writing each night about my day, where I was at, my feelings, fears, frustrations, good stuff, etc... Funny to look back on those ramblings...
Keep posting here, let us know how these early days are going for you!
Once you take the Alcohol and drugs out of the equation, things can only get better... My alcoholism wouldn't let me see that right away cuz my alcoholism wants me to Drink!
Peace and Love
-Josh

labyrinth

Today was a good day. I did not have to work and my stress levels were low so for about 4 hours I felt NORMAL, my thinking was still a little foggy but I felt like myself for the most part. I find that sometimes after I eat my symptoms get worse. I have had my sugar tested and everything is fine. Has anyone had anything like this happen to them or is it just a freak chance sort of thing. Also I find some relief when I take a heavy dose of 5htp (it increases the sertonin levels in your brain). Any thoughts on this.

Thanks for all the concern I check my email 3 times a day just to read this.


Regards

Steve

P.S Dont let the fact that some people have replied to my post prevent anyone else from responding I find every story very helpful and the more responses I get the more I know I am not alone in this!!!

Don S

Hi, Steve,
I tend to feel more tired after eating, as do most people. It is blood sugar, and whatever that other chemical is--tryptophan?--the one that makes you feel lethargic after Thanksgiving dinner. I know my desk work is less productive after lunch, so I try to get up and get moving.

It may be that you are just more aware of your body's natural cycles in response to food now that you have drugs out of your system. Eating lighter meals, eating more often, avoiding heavy foods, and drinking a mild stimulant such as tea or coffee just after a meal can help (though I notice in the article about PAWS they recommend avoiding caffeine, your cigarettes are probably providing similar stimulant effect). Or just go with the feeling; I've often thought we should adopt the siesta system of daily work, especially in the summer!

A common symptom of depression, as I understand it, is a somewhat scattered mental feeling. Inability to concentrate, difficulty with getting going on projects or following through with them, and a general fatigue are common, and also occur in people who are in shock or under stress. A lot of people find that a healthier diet and taking regular multi-vitamins makes a big difference, as well as regular exercise.

From the article linked, I found this the most salient part:

Because stress triggers and intensifies the symptoms of post acute withdrawal, learning to manage stress can control PAW. You can learn to identify sources of stress and develop skills in decision making and problem solving to help reduce stress. Proper diet, exercise, regular habits, and positive attitudes all play important parts in controlling PAW. Relaxation can be used as a tool to retrain the brain to function properly and to reduce stress.

Though the article is AA-focused, it is interesting to note that the changes suggested are mostly behavioral and nutritional. In my opinion our behavior results from our beliefs, and stress management often is a matter of modifying our attitudes about events, situations, and the actions of those around us. We create our own stress, largely by placing demands on ourselves, or by how we interpret things that happen.

Cultivating our sense of humor helps, too.

Best wishes,
Don S

Pancreas

For some reason I can't attach files to my posts. (Probably my firewall and security settings)

I have a one page synopsis of PAWS (Post Assute Withdrawal Syndrome) that has been very helpful. If anybody wants a copy just send me an e-mail.

Justme57

I just dropped in to see how you are going . Glad to ee you are still hanging in there .

Just wanted to share something my Sponser suggested to me when I was in my first couple of months . She had me write a list each evening, of no more than 3 things i needed to do the next day . I stuck it on the fridge , and had a time frame for completion. I ticked each one off as it was finished . For some reason, this helped me focus each morning , and seemed to help me a lot

Also her favorite saying for me , when i was standing wondering " what next " was " do the next right thing " I still hear those words when things take me by surprise lol Seems to work tho

HUGX
Lee

Jeff_C

I hear ya Lee, and the "lesson" is not lost on me, although I would add the following.

Sometimes the "next right thing" is,-----------------nothing. That saying, "just do the next right thing" used to bug the hell out me. Good God, scratch this alcoholic, and codependency bled out all over the place. Procrastination was a fine art. Asking me to figure out what the next right thing" was, is something akin to and as foreign as a nuclear physics equation. However, as I stumbled along, plodding through those steps I began to find I could do the next thing,-------right, rather than the next right thing. Now that may seem like a fine distinction but it's implication to me was stunning. Just the next thing as it arose in my life, and as it felt natural and "right", was the manner in with which I could do it. Over and over, just doing what arises in front of me. Don't have to figure it all out, If it gave me trouble or concern, then there it sat, until, I had run it by my sponsor, and some trusted friends, and even then as Kitcat suggested just "turned it over".
It's absolutely amazing how well the world will spin without my attempts to control it. Takes a lot less energy, to "let it go", as opposed to wrestling it to the ground too I'm responsible for the efforts to reach what goals I may set, but "outcomes" are Her baliwick, not mine..

Justme57

LOL it used to bug me too Jeff! But as you say , ( and you explained it so well) , it takes a lot less energy, and somehow " feels right )

HUGX
Lee

labyrinth

TODAY WAS A BAD DAY!!!!!

I could not grasp the most simple of things today it was like my mind was mush. I HATE this crap.

NotThatThirsty

How about this one:
"When all else fails, take a nap"
-from a 73 year old Alcoholic and Dope fiend with something like 30yrs clean

-Josh

In memory of miracle

My name is Trush and I am an alcoholic,I just wanted to tell you when I read your post it brought so much back to me...I feel ya..thats exactly the way I felt when I first stopped drinkin,as some time went on,and I learned some coping skills(I had none,I drank over everything)thru my out-patient treatment and AA I got much better,the anxiety passed,I believe it will pass for you too,just by not drinkin and going to meetings....peace and prayers to you...Trish.