all hell broke loose
 

Well i decided that i couldnt hide my drink problem from my partner of 8 years, he new i drank abit but i also secretely drank too. Well it ended up the biggest argument, he stormed off and didnt come back till this morning.

Well we have had a long discussion and has decided he will help me.

I feel this time i will be able to do it, i now have loads of support. You lot. My bf and aa.

Although it may be a shock, I think it can be a lot easier once the secrets are revealed alloy.

I hope it will be good for you :)

D

This is good news for you and your partner, Alloy, acceptance is the biggest hurdle we face in getting sober. For me, that meant finally accepting that I just don't drink anymore. Over and done with. You accept this, and your partner accepts you and your choice too. Very important.

Use every tool you can find to stay sober, Alloy, be secure in your decision. I have a feeling that you will be just fine.

Send him to Al Anon.

Your journey will be personal. Find a sponsor and work those steps!

I wish you well,

Welcome, and I second suggesting your partner try Al-Anon.

Hi Alloy

You did the right thing there in telling your partner. I can relate to what you've said. I was secretly drinking too and it got totally out of control. I very, very nearly lost my partner because of the lies I told, it came as a huge shock to him. We are just getting through it now taking each day as it comes and honestly my life is so much better without alcohol in it. I don't ever want to go back into that dark hole I was in and I don't intend to. This isn't always an easy journey but it can be done, 'no pain no gain'. Do whatever you need to do to help yourself and keep posting and reading as much as you can, feel free to p.m anytime. I've copied a poem below out of the little book of phrases and poems that I'm collecting to help me with my recovery. It really tells it how it is!!

You should have seen me.
I drank for happiness and became unhappy;
I drank for joy and became miserable.
I drank to be out-going and became self-centred;
I drank for sociability and became argumentative and lonely;
I drank for sophistication and became crude and obnoxious.
I drank for friendship and made enemies,
I drank to soften sorrow and wallowed in self-pity;
I drank for sleep and awakened without rest.
I drank for strength and felt weak.
I drank for masculinity and it sapped my potency;
I drank medicinally and got sick.
I drank because I thought my job called for it and lost my job.
I drank to stimulate thought and blacked out.
I drank to make conversation and got to where I couldn't talk at all;
I drank to forget and became haunted.
I drank for freedom's sake and became a slave.
I drank for power and became powerless;
I drank to erase problems and saw them multiply.
I drank to cope with life and invited death...

You can do this Alloy, you're not alone.

Big hugs

Gxx

If you still have your boyfriend then that's awsome. Hang on to him, he's a keeper. I lost my girlfriend, we tried to go back togheter this summer after I was sober for a month. She supported me by bringing Rye and pot to my house. I ended the relationship. Now what's hard I that I am alone. But I'll be ok, eventually! ;-)

To be sober we must be brutally honest and willing to do whatever it takes to stay sober. I'm so glad you've got a supportive partner and wish you the best.

alloy - I agree with Dee that it's best to have it out in the open. I grew so tired of hiding it and sneaking around - I was anxious all the time that someone would find out my secret.
I know you must be relieved.

how are you doing now alloy?

D

Im still sober. Have had a rough weekend. Didnt go a caravan for my birthday as due to family politics.

Then yesterday a dog attacked my dog. But instead of apolagising, the owner had a right go at me. Saying i shouldnt of split them up instead i should of let the dogs sort it out between themselves but the dog was trying to rip my dog apart. Luckily no real damage was done. But i did buy a bottle of wine. I stared at it for an hour then gave it away. Yesterday was one of my worce birthdays ever. Oh well lol

Hi again

Sorry to hear you had a lousy birthday. Mind you I'd rather not acknowledge my birthdays now, I don't like about thinking how old I am!!!! It works until I look in the mirror! Perhaps you could have a late celebration and go out for a meal or have a take away at the end of the week! You did really, really well not drinking that wine, so be proud of your self.

Sorry to hear about your dog, the other dog owner was out of order. A similar thing happened to his dog on Friday. His dog is huge, I'm sure it's part donkey, but it's really docile and as daft as a brush. he had it on the lead but a little snappy terrior, which was not on the lead ran to her, biting her legs and snapping, after a while my sons dog had had enough and grabbed the small dog by the snout, she didn't shake it or anything but she cut its face and it needed a couple of stitches. The other man told my son that he must go half with the costs of the vets fees for the stitches!!! Doesn't seem right to me!

Hope you have a better day today.

Gxx

Whoops, I meant to say my son's dog!