Please help my worst sober day so far. Please =(
Staying upstate & taking one class or two or moving back to Boston...it's all still up in the air...it's causing a lot of anxiety but this hit home on the Big Book today I am going to post it here for when I come back and look at thread on a later date when I need support.
Also I guess there's no reason not to start recovery with this sponsor. She seems to agree that it can't hurt.
I was supposed to start outpatient rehab/ED treatment this week but I' was in the ER this morning (Throat was so swollen I couldn't swallow and was having trouble breathing) and haven't really been able to get out of bed much for the past few days... so I am post poning to next week. It is the ED part of the treatment that I'm concerned about but this is a positive step I know I need to take
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Page 417 Acceptance
A.A. Big Book – Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept my life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.
Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and woman merely players." He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection, just as I did. A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God's handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God.
Also I guess there's no reason not to start recovery with this sponsor. She seems to agree that it can't hurt.
I was supposed to start outpatient rehab/ED treatment this week but I' was in the ER this morning (Throat was so swollen I couldn't swallow and was having trouble breathing) and haven't really been able to get out of bed much for the past few days... so I am post poning to next week. It is the ED part of the treatment that I'm concerned about but this is a positive step I know I need to take
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Page 417 Acceptance
A.A. Big Book – Acceptance is the answer to ALL of my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation- some fact of my life- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept my life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.
Shakespeare said, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and woman merely players." He forgot to mention that I was the chief critic. I was always able to see the flaw in every person, every situation. And I was always glad to point it out, because I knew you wanted perfection, just as I did. A.A. and acceptance have taught me that there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us; that we are all children of God and we each have a right to be here. When I complain about me or about you, I am complaining about God's handiwork. I am saying that I know better than God.
It's awful I was back to my PCP today for an emergency appt with severe pain. She put me on Vicodin. I've never has prescribed Vicodin before but have a bit of a troubled past with pain killers many years ago, never addicted just too much of a fan but I honestly was in so much pain I just couldn't take it. I took half a pill this afternoon and another half pill tonight. I can take two full ones a day if I need to, Dr said not to exceed that only gave me enough for 5 days and I have to go back to her for refills. People in AA were all VERY against it but I really need it
People in AA are not doctors, and it seems your doctor agrees with you that you need this medication, and that's fine by me. I've never had an issue with taking medication to treat a physical malady.
I would hope that the people in AA were really trying to let you know that some of them have experienced serious problems in this area when they have tried to use medication to treat a spiritual, not physical, malady. Whenever I am faced with this situation (very rarely so far) I take great care to be honest with my self and my doctor, and I follow the doctor's instructions to the letter.
I would hope that the people in AA were really trying to let you know that some of them have experienced serious problems in this area when they have tried to use medication to treat a spiritual, not physical, malady. Whenever I am faced with this situation (very rarely so far) I take great care to be honest with my self and my doctor, and I follow the doctor's instructions to the letter.
fenway, i am one person in AA not against it and i know others with the same opinion as me. we didnt get sober to live in pain and if the motives are right, theres nothing worng with it.
i have been though 6 surgeries to carve out cancer while in recovery. 2 of the surgeries were quite serious and i was on some pretty heavy pain meds. yup, there were poeple against me takin pain meds. that was their problem. the surgeons who performed the surgeries knew a lot more about the after care than the people in AA.
i do suggest keeping in contact with someone not oppsed and letting them know how yer thinker is thinkin.
get weller soon!! prayer yer way.
i have been though 6 surgeries to carve out cancer while in recovery. 2 of the surgeries were quite serious and i was on some pretty heavy pain meds. yup, there were poeple against me takin pain meds. that was their problem. the surgeons who performed the surgeries knew a lot more about the after care than the people in AA.
i do suggest keeping in contact with someone not oppsed and letting them know how yer thinker is thinkin.
get weller soon!! prayer yer way.
People in AA are not doctors, and it seems your doctor agrees with you that you need this medication, and that's fine by me. I've never had an issue with taking medication to treat a physical malady.
I would hope that the people in AA were really trying to let you know that some of them have experienced serious problems in this area when they have tried to use medication to treat a spiritual, not physical, malady. Whenever I am faced with this situation (very rarely so far) I take great care to be honest with my self and my doctor, and I follow the doctor's instructions to the letter.
I would hope that the people in AA were really trying to let you know that some of them have experienced serious problems in this area when they have tried to use medication to treat a spiritual, not physical, malady. Whenever I am faced with this situation (very rarely so far) I take great care to be honest with my self and my doctor, and I follow the doctor's instructions to the letter.
thanks
Thank you guys!
Feels great to know that not everyone is against it
I was in the hospital again. I have an extremely severe case of tonsillitis to the point where it's necrotic. I was in such severe pain that Vicodin wasn't making a dent, I couldn't eat or drink or sleep, and I honestly couldn't even swallow the pills I had to crush them up and choke them down with pudding which still hurt a lot.
They gave me morphine at the hospital and I asked for more because I was still in pain, I still don't think they gave me much. Then they sent me home with a stronger pain medication that's liquid. Something I've never heard of. I've been taking that every 4 hours and I've gone though like a quarter of it since I got it last night, I really am just using it for pain.
I have NO DESIRE to drink, I can't drink for months after having mono anyway because of what it does to your liver, my liver already showed some issues in my blood work, likely related to the mono. I am thankful I quit drinking a month ago or I think I'd be having a harder time.
Anyway IDK I really am just using the pan meds for PAIN but I still feel a little guilty? Like I'm "cheating" but that may just be because of what some people in AA say. It doesn't alter my frame of mind minus making me tired but I'm glad to hear not everyone is anti-pain meds when it comes to needing them for medical reasons.
Hopefully I get better soon I'd like to enjoy being sober instead of being stuck in bed all day!
Feels great to know that not everyone is against it
I was in the hospital again. I have an extremely severe case of tonsillitis to the point where it's necrotic. I was in such severe pain that Vicodin wasn't making a dent, I couldn't eat or drink or sleep, and I honestly couldn't even swallow the pills I had to crush them up and choke them down with pudding which still hurt a lot.
They gave me morphine at the hospital and I asked for more because I was still in pain, I still don't think they gave me much. Then they sent me home with a stronger pain medication that's liquid. Something I've never heard of. I've been taking that every 4 hours and I've gone though like a quarter of it since I got it last night, I really am just using it for pain.
I have NO DESIRE to drink, I can't drink for months after having mono anyway because of what it does to your liver, my liver already showed some issues in my blood work, likely related to the mono. I am thankful I quit drinking a month ago or I think I'd be having a harder time.
Anyway IDK I really am just using the pan meds for PAIN but I still feel a little guilty? Like I'm "cheating" but that may just be because of what some people in AA say. It doesn't alter my frame of mind minus making me tired but I'm glad to hear not everyone is anti-pain meds when it comes to needing them for medical reasons.
Hopefully I get better soon I'd like to enjoy being sober instead of being stuck in bed all day!
I've been home for about a week. I originally came home to work at my job here in Boston but I called out too sick to but but thank God I came home because I've been too sick to be alone. There's been days I was to sick to even walk down the stairs to get a glass of water, my Mom's been taking are of me and making sure I've been getting some calories into me even if it's in the form of juice.
I haven't been going to meetings, obviously. But I've been too sick so there's not much I can do. Believe me alcohol is the LAST thing on my mind. I can't imagine doing ANYTHING to harm my body any more. But I will get back soon.
I also am going to have to postpone that partial program for at least another week.
I've stayed in touch with my Prof's from school and they have been very understanding
I haven't been going to meetings, obviously. But I've been too sick so there's not much I can do. Believe me alcohol is the LAST thing on my mind. I can't imagine doing ANYTHING to harm my body any more. But I will get back soon.
I also am going to have to postpone that partial program for at least another week.
I've stayed in touch with my Prof's from school and they have been very understanding
Fenway Faithful,
Glad you are home and being taken care of!
While you are in bed you might want to check out XA Speakers... just google it. It is a huge collection of AA speakers... many are the best of the best! You can download their talks for months and never run out of "speaker meetings".
There is a thread somewhere (stickies maybe) of the best speakers and all of them are available on XA. I have some favorties if you are interested and I am sure everyone else does too!
Glad you are home and being taken care of!
While you are in bed you might want to check out XA Speakers... just google it. It is a huge collection of AA speakers... many are the best of the best! You can download their talks for months and never run out of "speaker meetings".
There is a thread somewhere (stickies maybe) of the best speakers and all of them are available on XA. I have some favorties if you are interested and I am sure everyone else does too!
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