PAW - 7 weeks later
 

I'm fairly stable, at least as far as cravings go, but my life feels uninspired. I've never been the lazy type, but I have this extreme lack of motivation to do anything. I force myself through work and at home very few things seem appealing. I have an endless to-do list. I feel like work and home life are suffering more now than when I was drinking.

I felt so motivated and inspired early on in my sobriety. I understand the dry drunk syndrome and surely don't want to be a dry drunk. I am trying to eat well and get at least 3 ninety+ exercise sessions in a week.

I've cut caffeine, I still eat some sweets, but not excessively. The only reason I am mentioning those things is that I am trying to self-diagnose online and everything points to taking good care of yourself (exercise, good sleep, nutritious diet). Check, check, check... even sleep is great, love it! As a matter of fact, I think I sleep too much.

Any thoughts if this is PAW and to just wait it out - better days are on the way???



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Tammy, At 5 months I'm in much the same place you are -- I still lack motivation or ambition. I seem unable to feel the emotions of joy, anticipation, passion, and desire properly. One way I look at it is that I burned out a lot of "pleasure circuits" in my brain with my drinking, and it will take a long time for them to regenerate.

Are you having other PAWS-related symptoms such as memory loss and "brain fog?"

Seems to me like you're doing everything right! Keep up the good work!

Adante: I was hoping you were going to say, "At 5 months things are great!". :- (

I don't have memory loss, but brain fog? Maybe. I am medically confirmed ADD (no H). At work, I am so unproductive. I have a task list and I just can't seem to focus. For example, I am on here instead of actually getting something done. Is that brain fog?

At home, my task last night was to dust and sweep the floors - didn't do any of it. I had enough mind energy to make a smoothie for dinner and sit in front of the TV. I did get Mulligan Man out for a walk, gosh it was nice out last night.

Brain fog... I have to learn more about that... how do you get rid of it?

This might help explain.

PAWS « Digital Dharma

Adante: I was hoping you were going to say, "At 5 months things are great!". :- (

Sorry not to be more of an inspiration -- I was speaking only of my personal experience. It seems like most others here have no problems with motivation or ambition, which should be encouraging for both of us.

For me, the "brain fog" is in part a general inability to think straight, but specifically I have trouble making connections or sequencing thoughts properly. For instance, planning and executing complex projects (like a home improvement or a complicated car repair), used to be easy and enjoyable for me, but is now impossible.

Other than doing what you can do to promote healing and recovery (which it sounds like you're already doing), the key word is PATIENCE. As the saying goes, "Time Takes Time." 7 weeks is still pretty early. Hang in there!

Tammy, if you understand the term 'dry drunk', you know that it exists only within the paradigm of 12 step recovery. Are you sure that it applies to you?

You said you don't drink now, you eat well, exercise regularly and sleep like a baby. This sounds like a program you can stick with. Stay the course, be kind and gentle with yourself, and things will work themselves out.

Tammy, to me it sounds like PAWS that you have described, similar to what I experienced up to about 10 to 12 weeks when it began to improve and has continued getting much better. Over 4 months now, doing great. Stressful situations will ratchet the numbing, but most of the time just wonderful. The exercise and nutrition is so important, really helps. Stick with what you are doing, it will get better pretty soon.

Thanks for the feedback. Very encouraging.