Flyersfan

Whats up Everyone!

Its been a few months for me without a drink... I have seen a few benefits such as having a better relationship with my parents and not feeling terrible in the morning but I am also struggling a lot.

- When I hang out with my friends, I can only hang out for a couple of hours before I want to leave

- I was at a wedding on Saturday and I wanted to get the hell out of there an hour into it!

- I can be very sad and sometimes feel like I could cry and Im a 28 year old dude so its weird.

- I basically see way negatives so far then positives, expecially my sleep patterns! By no means am I going to go back to drinking, but I just thought I would feel fantastic by now but im not.

The only things that help me with the urges are playing video games, visiting my parents more because they know I quit drinking and just pounding carbonated waters... any advice from anyone?

Matt

doggonecarl

Hey, Matt. It's only been a couple months. I don't know how long you drank, but I didn't see "real" improvement for 6 months, and even then things got tough.

My advice. Stay the course. Are you in any kind of recovery program? For some of us, drinking was only the symptom. We had to work on other aspects of our lives.

bbthumper

I'm gonna echo what doggonecarl said. A recovery program may be helpful. Many find that unless they treat the real problem behind their addiction, life does get worse after quitting. I got sober in AA and my life has gotten better ever since.

Flyersfan

When you say recovery program do you mean AA?

I do this outpatient rehab program that was required for my DWI but we don't even talk about drinking, its such a Fking joke

freshstart57

Yep. Your urges have only the power that you choose to give them, I found out. I still get the urges once in a while, but they don't bug me simply because they can't make me drink any longer.

AVRT is a sobriety tool that goes right at the business of dealing with urges. It isn't a recipe for living a spiritual life nor does it provide any solution for 'underlying issues' if you decide that there are any. It just goes after the staying sober part.

You can find out more about it by googling Rational Recovery and looking at the crash course, and by going to our Secular Connections forum.

hypochondriac

That all sounds like normal stuff Flyersfan. Stick with it. It will get better. I found having support helped, AA, spending time on SR, next week I am going to my first SMART meeting , and reading recovery books all helped me. Maybe try something different too. It doesn't sound like you're finding the outpatient thing that helpful...? x

Edabisco

Hey Matt, I can really sympathize with you, I'm a 28 year old guy too, and I've been sober close to 90 days now. The waking up without a hangover is probably still the most amazing part of the whole thing, but I get restless and bored at stuff too. Part of it is that I think that's how normal people are, bored at stuff that's boring, and it's just sort of about learning to live with that. I've been considering some sort of support group as well, whether AA or what-have-you. I got my copy of the Big Book coming through Amazon, so I guess that's a start! Let me know what you decide to do.

Flyersfan

thanks for the responses! The big book? is that a self help book from amazon? Your from Philadelphia too, I just moved back to west chester

instant

It's still early. The unsettled moods and urges do settle down. I can't recall when I last had and idea about drinking with any force behind it.

I don't hang around either once the drinking gets going- it's boring. I now prefer getting up early and getting stuff done.

Edabisco

Hey, it's sort of the compendium of AA stories by members from the beginning of the group (at least I think that's what it is). It's free online, but I wanted my own copy just because I read more carefully in those cases. Awesome you're back in eastern PA! I actually live closer to Allentown, but I was rounding up

Dee74

Congratulations on your progress Matt

It took me quite a few months to get comfortable with not drinking - I wasn't hanging around my old mates either. I think that would be tough.

The whole secret for sustained success for me was building a sober life I loved and wanted to stay in.

What ways do you think you could make your sober life better?

D

bjames

Try finding some sober friends. Do you go to AA? I found it a great place to meet people.

tomsteve

the "big book" is the name given to the book "alcoholics anonymous." it is the story of how thousands of men and women have recovered from acoholism. the 1st 164 pages tell what we did to recover and the rest are personal stories.

Flyersfan

No I dont go to AA, the last meeting I went to was smoke infested and it was just a bunch of teenagers hanging out

Flyersfan

I think cutting my caffeine to 0 could make sober life easier or if I could get into to some new hobbies that I enjoy sober. Maybe concentrating more on my career... I havent dated a girl that I have liked in a long time, all the girls I used to see I had to stop seeing because I could not tolerate their presence sober

Mizzuno

It's a whole new way Matt. You will get adjusted. Im glad your posting about your concerns here. New hobbies sounds like a great idea. I wad thinking of doing that myself. I hope that you find some contentment real soon...keep us updated.

ADS20012012

Matt,
Congrats on the 90 days. That's no small accomplishment, so be proud of that. It sounds like you have some of the same types of motivation as I do, which is not waking up hungover. It's amazing how far this "feeling" will take you. Every time I start to have cravings, I literally think how horrible it would be hungover and it snaps me right back where I want to be...sober! I've got 20 months sobriety under my belt, you can reach that time too.

estelle

Know exactly what you mean about being intolerant of company including friends, do most of your friends know you are trying to get sober?

CarolD

One of the first benefits I found when I joined AA was
new sober friends who were also heading into a better future.

We did all sorts of interesting things outside of meetings
and we supported each others goals.

Glad to know you are not planning on drinking..
Please take the next step and move forward.

RobC420

Joining a program of recovery helped me a lot. It helps me stay sober and feel comfortable doing so.

I also cut out all the caffeine and began drinking only water. That lowered my anxiety tremendously.

I do many other things as well:
I began learning to play the bass guitar
I got a pet
I do arts and crafts
I exercise a lot by riding my bike all over the place.

I play video games as well, but I try to keep a balance. ie....I don't think playing video games all day is good for me. I need to do a little of everything, not alot of one thing.