Justfor1

Well SR folks my life is falling apart. I cannot cope with normal life problems the way normal society does. My transmission was going on my car so I changed the fluid, I ended up cracking the aluminum casing & now may need a new transmission!! My son is possibly smoking pot. My 90yr grandmother now has Dementia & tried attacking her caregiver. My computer hard drive completely crashed & I lost important data & may need a new PC. I don't understand how people cope with life's struggles without booze/drugs. My life is a complete joke & I need a drink but will hold off until tomorrow. If I still feel this way than I will buy a bottle. I can't take this stress. I'm also running out of my antidepressant & emergency anxiety meds as well.

suki44883

Will drinking fix your transmission? Stop your son from smoking pot? Relieve your grandmother's dementia? Fix your hard drive?

Dee74

All those things will still be there if you drink J41...and you'll be less capable of dealing with them.

Doesn't sound like a solution to me, man.

Hope you get your meds sorted - I think that would be my priority.
D

Hevyn

That's the thing - drinking will just make you numb for a while, but all the problems will still be there waiting for a solution. You'll have added another problem - you'll have let yourself down after all your hard work. Drinking only adds misery, it doesn't solve a thing.

I'm so sorry for all those things going wrong at once, but you need a clear head to cope with them. I hope you'll keep from picking up, Just. There's no comfort in it - I know you know that. Let us know how you are - glad you posted.

Sapling

It sure won't make anything better...And you know that...Or you wouldn't be here talking about it....This too shall pass Justfor1...If you need that medication...I would make getting that a priority. Spare yourself the misery of drinking...You'll get through it...Hit a meeting if you can.

tammy711

You can't change what "is" right now. All you can do is chose how you will react. Just numbing your feelings or escaping from life's challenges won't improve any of the bum luck you're having.

I hope that when you sleep on it things seem a bit more manageable tomorrow.

Old people get dementia - it happens.
Kids/teens smoke pot - it happens.
Cars break down -usually in the worst possible time.
Computers/digital data - will always be vulnerable.

Your son is alive. Your grandmother is alive. You're alive and can help them in some small way, but only if you help yourself first.

You sound like a good man - a caring man, even a sensitive man. It is OK to have struggles. You just have to address them one at a time.

Good Luck! I hope you find answers and peace.

My best.

Elisabeth888

If your anxiety is like mine, drinking will amplify and multiply it. You will be so wishing you did not drink. Your head will be foggy and you will have even more trouble coping.

MycoolFitz

Yea I think that is the ting it can numb but not fix.

tammy711

You want a drink. You do not need a drink.

(Big difference. :-)

Eddiebuckle

JF1: We all have days and sometimes months like that. What I have come to understand is that I unconsciously project the pain of my current situations into the future as though they will never end. But you know that very few things in life are permanent, they just seem that way when we are in the thick of them.

I think Dee had a really good point. Is it possible that it's not your life that is out of whack but your medication? Many people need adjustments from time to time, and if you are consistently feeling overwhelmed that might be the real issue.

Above all, drinking will not solve your problems but it surely can give you a few more.

ford1967

You have what life gives us a choice make the right one and you will find that the problems seem smaller than if you make the wrong one.please continue to post we are all willing to help

CarolD

Wise words....Welcome to our recovery community ford1967

TheEnd

You have been down this road many times and you know where it leads, when will you take a different path?

Mark75

It could be that you are lining up all the reasons why a drink would be a good idea...

Justification, Justfor1, you should recognize that, you know? Car, computer, son... And your meds are running low... Glad you are here posting about it!! It's a slippery slope you are on...

Boleo

IMNSHO the overall goal of recovery and spirituality in general is to learn that both happiness and misery are an inside job. When I am spiritually fit, nothing disturbs me enough that I feel like I am suffering. When I am not spiritually fit, no outside stuff can fill the void that I feel inside.

"Nirvana and samsara are the same."
- Siddhartha Gautama

bjames

Refill your meds??

Justfor1

Thanx everyone. Yeah I will hopefully get a refill next week. The psych Dr. quit & there have yet to hire one. I also find out I have to have my awful alcohol machine for an extra 3 months. I realize that if I drink I will most likely end up driving intoxicated again. When I drink I stop caring about anything or anyone. I lose my sense of morality & become a criminal. I have already relapsed to old behavior. I was out panhandling & pretending to be out of gas to get a few dollars.

KnowHope

Learning to live isn't always easy, just worth it. It takes courage. If I lack the courage, I pray for it.

Is your life worth the price of frustration on a transmission, the actions or even mistakes of others in their own lives, an old computer?

The 12 steps have this proven and reliable ability to set us on track from the most serious of places.

I reflect on the first step, get my hope back in the second step, reaffirm my decision to turn over my will and my life to the God of my understanding (that is beyond my understanding) in the third step, and follow up immediately with spiritually based actions like taking stock through inventory, cleaning up any wreckage I may have caused and helping others.

It sounds like at least part of you can sense what's back in the neighborhood.

If you don't have the willingness to do everything it takes, pray for it. Then if you want the results, then follow up by doing it without delay.

Or, left on your own power, I wonder if you might ask yourself if it's possible that you might find your mind once again in that place of alcoholic delusion where the very thing that got you to your bottom in the first place looks in any way attractive, or like it makes any sense at all.

Veritas1

As my good friend from AA would say...

That's not a good enough excuse.

There is nothing a drunk is going to do for you other than make you sick.

That's a bad idea.

Don't drink.

laurie6781

(((((Justfor1)))))

Good, now you will have money to put in the 7th Tradition basket that goes around at the meetings. I would suspect that you will be attending a few extra ones over the next weeks.

Also, please discuss this with your sponsor, ASAP.

(((((Just))))) you are at that 'crossroad's' that you have heard in meetings and hopefully read about in the Big Book of AA. This is a very important decision that you will be making. You can take one road and continue on the road of recovery, finding the tools and learning how to use those tools to help you with all the 'curve balls' life throw at us.

Or,

you can take the other road that will not only lead you further into the throes of addiction, but will increase your odds of an early death.

So, sounds like you have some pretty heavy duty 'soul searching' to do and that might best be done with your sponsor.

Love and hug,