Bubba09

That's my question.
I'm asking because I REALLY don't like that term.
I think what's been holding me back from quitting.
I quit today and I know that I will NEVER drink again!
But I like to think that I have no control over alcohol and it's done nothing but brought me down in life.
That's why I decided to quit.

Because in NO WAY has alcohol ever made my life better.
I don't want people to think of me as an alcoholic or a recovering alcoholic. I know they will and that's fine. But I like to think that alcohol and I don't agree, and that i don't drink because I don't like anything about it.
Its disgusting
It makes me feel like ****
It makes me feel terrible about my self
It makes me depressed
It's expensive
It makes me do and say things I would NEVER do sober.

I don't want to drink because my life is better without it.
If I think about the best times in my life and when I've been completely happy and having the most fun, alcohol wasn't involved.
I don't want to drink because I want to remember every second of this life that I've been given.
I want to be happy
I want to be healthy
I want to be sober

So just because I can't stop drinking once I start does that make me an alcoholic?
I just don't like be stigma attached to that word.
Like I have a problem or I'm broken in some way.

I think my sobriety will make me stronger
I dont need a crutch or a vice or a social lubricant in my life and I think that makes me a better person than who I was.
I want to think of myself as someone who doesn't drink
Plain and simple
Like a 8 year old full of bliss, happiness and joy.
So no I'm not an alcoholic, or a recovering alcoholic or an addict or anything.
I'm just me

Zube

Call it "Bob" if you want...just don't drink.

Zube

Sapling

I not only call myself one...I am one. Don't get caught up with what you call it...Here is a promise....If alcohol is causing you problems now?.....They will get worse.

Hexipuff

My thoughts exactly Zube.

I call myself an alcoholic but I don't go around introducing myself to people as such. My husband is diabetic and he doesn't introduce himself as such so why would I introduce myself as an alcoholic
Those people who need to know now know and they rest of the world
well not really their business is it

I don't dislike the word alcoholic at all because they day I admitted and accepted that I was one was the day a huge heavy weight was lifted off my shoulders

Mark75

... or Bubba,

Yea, no one likes that term... but once I recovered from it, I don't care too much about it... I don't introduce my self as Mark, an alcoholic... but if I'm at an AA meeting or with another alcoholic, I might refer to myself as alcoholic... but otherwise I don't worry about it and I am, as always, just me....

Better than a Drunk, wet brain, inmate, dead.

Best not forget though.

PaleMale

For me it was a breakthrough moment when I admitted I was alcoholic. Personally, I don't go around telling everyone, but I do introduce myself as an alcoholic at the meetings I go to.

I was lucky in that I realized I had a problem before I started crashing cars, getting fired and such, so most folks in my social and family life do not know I am in recovery, and they think I gave up drinking to live healthier. Which is certainly true.

The point I did get to was dark enough. I made my wife cry, considering killing myself, and other niceties... all because of drink. I could not quit for very long (5 days) on my own and needed the help of other alcoholics. For me I prefer to keep my anonymity in everyday life, but certainly do consider myself alcoholic, or alcohol dependent, if you prefer the medical term. If I were not alcoholic I wouldn't worry about drinking at all.

It's better to be an alcoholic than a drunk!

All the best and welcome!

freshstart57

'Abstainer' keeps us off that wetbrain, drunk, dead, inmate list too, and better than 'alcoholic' does. That's the one I prefer.

onlythetruth

I never use the term "alcoholic" about myself, for several reasons.

One, I am not sure what the term actually means. It has no consistent definition.

Two, although there's no consistent definition of the term, it's still a label. And I prefer not to label myself, particularly in relation to a problem I left behind during the Clinton Administration.

In appropriate circumstances (i.e. when it is medically or socially necessary, or when it might help someone else) I will say that I was once addicted to alcohol, or that I was once alcohol dependent. I use the past tense and do not allow that history to define who I am today.

CarolD

The only time I use the term or think of myself as an alcoholic
is when I am trying to assist someone else who is
either in person or on here....

Bubba09

Ok so I guess my next question is what makes you an alcoholic?

Here's my story...

I'm 26 year old female
My drinking was really scattered
I could go 2 weeks without it and then drink 3 days the next week, not drink for a week, drink 5 days straight, drink with friends, drink alone, it's always different.
My problem is I can't stop once I start.
But I have decided in the past to quit just for my own personal challenge and I could go a month or so. I just always felt left out or weird in situations because everyone drinks.
But when I would quit I wouldn't think about it, I wouldn't want to drink, or crave it or anything like that but peer pressure always took me down.

So am I an alcoholic if I just decide to quit drinking because I don't want to do it anymore?
I don't know I'm confused and by writing this I've made myself more confused.
I guess my question is:
If someone quits drinking and has no problem with it
If they don't have cravings or feel like something is missing
If they just quit and that's it and there just a non drinker now with no desire to ever drink again does that make them an alcoholic?

I guess I'll have to be sober for a while to see what happens but like I said in the past I've quit for months an I didn't miss it at all
I felt better and I had no desire to drink
??????????

Bubba09

I also do have friends in my life that are my age that have been to rehab and no longer drink or use substances so I am very lucky to have them.
There in my tight knit social group too so my friends won't pressure me to drink anymore because half of us are sober anyway. Maybe us sober ones will start to out number them and soon we will all be sober!!! Haha
Like I said I just don't see the point in it anymore but I don't have an addiction to it, I don't need it or want it.

dSober

"So just because I can't stop drinking once I start does that make me an alcoholic?"

That's where I start Bubba09. I was that way for many, many years. My wife told me severa times. Some of my friends did too. Others didn't because they were the same way.

I had a drink once in a great while at home and didn't overdrink then. But on those occasions I went out to party and drink, I DRANK.

Years later, I got myself into a very stressful situation (not by drinking) and I used alcohol to "escape". Trouble, as always, I drank too much. Only now I was doing it every day. Oops.

I tell you all this because I am an alcoholic. I don't like it, I'm not proud of it, but places like this help me feel a little less ashamed of it and let me try to help others avoid the same misery I know alcohol can cause.

If you can't stop once you start... don't start.

jsch

Well, once you start and you have little control of how much you take in, you are probably alcoholic. That's not bad or good. It just means you have an allergy to alcohol. Your body reacts differently than others to alcohol. There is a whole scientific explanation talking about enzymes that alcoholics lack. You can chech out a book called under the influence and it will explain all that if interested. But it's like someone allergic to fish or peanuts. It's not bad it just is.
The only difference is that someone allergic to peanuts will likely not want to eat peanuts again. The person allergic to alcohol may think they can drink like a non allergic or think they can control it. That is the danger because their body won't allow it. So see with what you know if your mind still tells you that you can drink.

2granddaughters

I'm a grateful member of Alcoholics Anonymous. I'm an alcoholic and I have a treatment for it.

Before, I just thought I was a hopeless, crazy doomed drunk.

All the best.

Bob R

Bubba09

So when people ask me why I don't drink I'll tell them I'm allergic!!
That's perfect
Thank you

CarolD

I'm really glad you do have sober friends ...they can be a valuable
resourse as you move into sobriety if that is your goal...

There are different stages of alcoholism.....obviously drinking
more is notgoing to improve your future
Many people don't drink for various reasons and they seem contented..

zanzibar

Personaly I call myself an alcoholic. But when someone offers me a beer I do not tell them no I'm an alcoholic cause it's none of their business. I just say no thanks or that I don't drink. However on the same note I don't think anyone should describe themselves in a term that they don't feel confortable with, so just don't call yourself an alcoholic. The only thing that matters is that you continue to recover. Allergic works just fine, whatever you feel most comfortable with.

dSober

Thanks for the info on allergy jsch. I was actually thinking about that a bit this morning. Allergy or disease. I know the Big Book calls it an allergy and I'm the last person who wants to argure with the Big Book but many call it a disease.

I think both are true. Besides it doesn't matter much what you call it, it just is what it is: a painful and difficult thing to have and treat.

tinkanman

i have a question. what do people mean when they say that an alcoholic can't stop drinking. are they referring to stopping that event or abstaining altogether or both?
i'm new at this and have been sober for a little over two wks. i drank every night for 25 yrs. 5pm to 8pm like clock work, then i'd stop, eat dinner and go to bed. i have no desire for a drink "right now" and feel better than ever. i've been out with my friends and family in drinking situations and no one pays any attention to what i'm doing. i don't have to say or tell anyone that i'm a "bob" or anything else. they hand me a beer or bourbon and i walk around with it all night or pour in the toilet and get a diet coke. no one cares about my drinking like i do! i consider myself an alcoholic because i drank for so long with no desire to quit. but quitting hasn't been hard....yet. so i take it a day at at a time. talk to the higher power. and fake out my friends and family. it's a selfish game in which i'm the only player. so as said before, it matters not what you call yourself or what anyone else thinks you are. what matters is to stay the course and tow the the line. good luck bubba09 and everyone else

freshstart57

Alcoholic is clearly a word that you get to define as you choose. Good for you, TinKanMan, congratulations to you on your choice of sobriety. Well done.