PJ8

I'm trying to quit drinking. I was in AA a long time ago and, frankly, I do not want to go back. I have no issue with the steps, but the meetings themselves being in-person.

I'm wondering if folks consider this site their group and support and service or do you also think attending in-person groups is important?

Thanks for any experience you can share around this.

PJ

Mark75

You are gonna get a lot of different answers... The important thing is .... what do YOU need to do to get and stay sober?

sugarbear1

I enjoy the in-person meetings. I now have enough people in my life who are in AA and who are willing to go to any lengths to help me out, including bringing a meeting to my home, if I needed one. I think in-person meetings are amazingly helpful. This is where I learn to be a friend and to have one, to run things by others who have "been there" and I can have honest conversations with others (and be called on my own behavior!).

I also invest time in online sites including others which are specifically tailored to AA.

SR has been very helpful to my recovery, too! I've learned much about other programs of recovery. I believe this site is a fabulous place to stick around and it helps me very much. The people who get to the chat room and to the online meetings here are wonderful people.

I currently have almost 17 months of continuous sobriety!

Whatever works for you, do it!!! Sobriety is an amazing journey!!

hypochondriac

I think quite a lot of people use this site for support. There are also meetings online. I go to meetings because I really felt like I needed people near me, but I don't say much! I'm scared I will sound stupid, and am not sure what I would say. At least here I can proof read. What don't you like about meetings being in person? x

MycoolFitz

I do both becaue I isolate too much otherwise.

BackToSquareOne

I think everyone is at a different place in their life journey, a different mile marker, yardline, whatever you prefer to call it. Our knowledge base is built from the sum total of our life experiences and our perspectives are shaped and formed from our knowledge base.

We may all need different things at different points along the way. To learn a new job or skill, to fly an airplane or helicopter you will need to be taken by the hand and taught how to do the thing. Quitting addictions and building a better way of life just doesn't work that way tho, there is no one right way for everyone.

The only problem I see with very strict dogma driven programs is that they sort of assume that everyone needs the same thing when in reality nothing could be further from the truth. Whether or not you need face to face meetings and a very structured program is a question only you can answer, some need that others don't.

RobC420

I go to in person meetings. It has been vital to my program. I've been a bad isolator, loner, etc etc. my whole life. I need that in person interaction.

I showed up here in my 18th month and mostly come here because I just love internet message boards. I've always thought they were fun even when I was using. I don't necessarily seek support here or at least I haven't yet. I like to read the newcomer threads for the reminder of what it was like. I like the AA 12 step threads such as the Daily Reflection posts and questions about differing opinions of the program. My DOC is marijuana so I like to be a part of any marijuana threads that pop up. It would be cool to see more action in the Cafecentral forum so we could get some OT discussions. Now that I'm sober I got other stuff to talk about aside from drinking and getting high.

CarolD

I was attending AA regularly before the www was formed

With my first PC....I connected to on line recovery in '92...
it's been another interesting enhancement to my sucessful
AA journey...

My suggestion...please do stay connected with whatever
allows you freedom from alcohol and drugs.

Welcome to our recovery community...

miamifella

I think a lot has to do with how people in your life support your recovery. If you have friends who are there to help you, then meetings matter less. But if you feel alone, they matter more.

What do you dislike about f2f meetings?

stairs

I do both.

I like the in person meetings because we hug and sometimes have cake and clap for each other and do the arms around circle at the end. I really like the human contact and in person sharing.
For me it's about forming relationships even if nothing much is going on, so that when I do hit a wall or have a crisis, I will have people to call on.

SR is wonderful and a big part of my recovery program also. I enjoy the "Class of August" thread that I participate in, it's an online support group where the same members post every day or so keeping us all apprised of their doings and happenings on their sober journey. Also many other threads and members here are valued for their info and input.

Auvers

I consider this site as supportive to my sober life. I do not go to in person meetings because I would not find that helpful, does not suit my needs and would have no positive effect for me. I have a strong will and very stable home life, network of friends. As others have said, it all depends on what you need. Pick the type of support that will give you optimal advantage in maintaining sobriety.

CarolD

Auvers...
Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum
All my best as you continue your new sober journey

Sapling

You say you heve no issue with the steps...I'm curious how you work them without the face to face contact of a sponsor...That was key for me.....Meetings?....I go because I love them....As soon as I sit down in one I know I'm right where I'm supposed to be.

SunnyFlower

Ditto!

My AA Home Meeting understands me (and it feels so good to be understood) better then my family. I feel at home when I go..

It may not be for everyone, but it works for me.

I believe each of us have to personally and individually, find what's best for ourselves and work whatever program it offers.

freshstart57

Nope, I went to four meetings during my first week of sobriety about 14 months ago now and found that they weren't for me. SR then became a great source of support for me, and I learned to use the tools I needed to stay sober. Now, I like the service opportunity here at SR, and providing support is very gratifying.

MemphisBlues

There are plenty of AA online meetings, NA also. And I know of several very successful sponsor-sponsee relationships that are done completely online.

It seems you have social anxiety issues? I do, too, but I also feel very much at home in a meeting with others. But I can do internet meetings in my underwear (hmmm....another issue?).

dox

I find in-person meetings to be vital. Much of my active alcoholism was perpetuated by dishonesty; with myself as well as with others.

I find that rigorous honesty comes easier in the real world with real people. We don't really know who we are talking to, what there facial expression is, tone of voice, etc. when we participate here.

Something I have heard a few times in AA meetings is: "You can't bulls**t a bulls**ter." And, in face to-face meetings, that's true, for the most part.

Now, an AA meeting is not, strictly speaking, the real world; it's safer. But, face-to-face interaction is what I needed to develop the courage to be honest with myself and others. These days, I need human contact in order to to nurture my courage to change and help others who are willing to do the same.

If I wanted to be a hermit (At one time i did.) then staying sober with only on-line help might be a viable option. But, what would be the point in that? Today, i enjoy the company of other humans.

So, i need to get out to meetings.

~dox

Sapling

It's pretty evident that you are self recovered and not in AA.....But for people that aren't capable of self recovery.....Like myself and millions of others...AA offers a solid proven program of recovery with an umatched system of support for the alcoholic....I'd recommend for anybody interested in AA meetings in person...Which the OP asked about....Try them out for a for awhile...Give them an openminded try for a few weeks....It's an incredible program and I like many others are living happy lives because of it.

freshstart57

Those are good questions, PJ8. Thanks for your post.

PJ8

Thank you for your responses. It sounds like quite a mix and I appreciate the sentiment that it really does vary from person to person.

I mean no disrespect toward AA in general or toward those folks for whom in-person meetings work well, but for those who asked, I dislike in-person meetings because the AA culture is not something that resonates for me: the endless readings, the robotic and constant use of slogans, folks so often talking on and on about nothing - it feels more like a watered down group therapy, the lockstep herd mentality. It seems mentally dulling, dusty, dry and boring - to me.

In the time I attended AA before, the culture in the groups I attended was extremely BB and step-centric. It was all about working the steps - period. This was fine for me - I don't like mucking around - but it was also pretty boot camp-like and egocentric (who was the most awakened, etc.). At my age, I don't have the emotional energy for those games. I just want to quit drinking and move on. I didn't drink for 14 years, but have now been drinking for about 15 and, though it held fairly steady for quite some time, the downhill slide has increased very quickly the last 6 months.

I have read about AVRT a bit on this site and have purchased the book, Rational Recovery. Thus far, it isn't resonating well - doesn't make a lot of sense to me...yet? Is there a general discussion board somewhere for AVRT? I can't seem to find it on the list, but did via the key word search.

Anyway, thanks again for your responses. I think I'll read more in the RR book and participate on this site - for now.

PJ