Blew it again
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
Originally Posted by 4mykids723 
Eddie, I know I am an Alcoholic and have no issues with the word or admitting it. I come from a long line of them. I simply make excuses and fool myself into thinking things will be "different" this time.
Thank you all of you for talking me off the ledge as it were. I am committed to the October Class here and am ready to to it again. I tossed all of the Beer in my house yesterday, did not light up a cigarette and instead crushed the remainder of the pack I bought at the gig on Saturday.
A new day indeed.
Thank you all of you for talking me off the ledge as it were. I am committed to the October Class here and am ready to to it again. I tossed all of the Beer in my house yesterday, did not light up a cigarette and instead crushed the remainder of the pack I bought at the gig on Saturday.
A new day indeed.
How awesome! Be encouraged!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: NC
Posts: 1,737
Sounds like a good plan.
When I finally quit drinking, I initially said that I hadn't ever really tried to quit, and I believed it when I said it. In retrospect, many times I tried to change my attitude, the circumstances, environment, or people with whom I drank but sooner or later always ended up right back where I started. For me, the way I succeeded in breaking the chain was through rehab followed by totally changing how, where and with whom I spent my days. Not everything was discarded, but virtually everything that I associated with drinking went out the window for the first year or so. It does get easier with time, but the first few months are a roller coaster, and the more you can minimize the frequency and severity of your exposure to those drinking situations, the better your odds of success. And the truth of the matter is, as good as you felt after a month, you haven't seen the half of it.
Keep the faith - you can do this.
When I finally quit drinking, I initially said that I hadn't ever really tried to quit, and I believed it when I said it. In retrospect, many times I tried to change my attitude, the circumstances, environment, or people with whom I drank but sooner or later always ended up right back where I started. For me, the way I succeeded in breaking the chain was through rehab followed by totally changing how, where and with whom I spent my days. Not everything was discarded, but virtually everything that I associated with drinking went out the window for the first year or so. It does get easier with time, but the first few months are a roller coaster, and the more you can minimize the frequency and severity of your exposure to those drinking situations, the better your odds of success. And the truth of the matter is, as good as you felt after a month, you haven't seen the half of it.
Keep the faith - you can do this.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 622
4mykids - I am a musician as well - it is so so hard and i understand - I just played my first sober gig - and it sucked and it was so hard and I had so much anxiety - but once i got out of there and got home, I feel so GREAT!!! I understand your pain - please try again - and notice my join date, I am on day 3 again
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 525
You like a Buddhist / Zen approach, right?
In Shunru Suzuki's "Zen Mind Beginner's Mind", he discusses how life is "mistake after mistake". Expecting anything different is setting yourself up for disappointment, which leads to losing your resolve, which leads to never growing. Our expectations set goals much much higher than our habits allow us to achieve.
Beating yourself up isn't bad, but only if you refuse to run to drinking again to ease the mental chatter.
And as a musician, you can study the sober musicians who continue to stay sober, year after year.
Here's an interview with Alice Cooper:
Alice Cooper on Sobriety
And here's a book where musicians share their struggles with alcohol.
The Harder They Fall: Celebrities Tell Their Real Life Stories of Addiction and Recovery
And here's a very scary article about the Byrds drummer who died a very pain-filled death from alcoholism:
A LETTER FROM THE LATE MICHAEL CLARKE
-
Your struggle & pain are not unique, but they are very real to you.
Others have done it before you. You sound very determined to stick with this, and you should. Stop drinking and avoid the certain train-wreck of your life spent in a bottle.
Peace & success to you.
In Shunru Suzuki's "Zen Mind Beginner's Mind", he discusses how life is "mistake after mistake". Expecting anything different is setting yourself up for disappointment, which leads to losing your resolve, which leads to never growing. Our expectations set goals much much higher than our habits allow us to achieve.
Beating yourself up isn't bad, but only if you refuse to run to drinking again to ease the mental chatter.
And as a musician, you can study the sober musicians who continue to stay sober, year after year.
Here's an interview with Alice Cooper:
Alice Cooper on Sobriety
And here's a book where musicians share their struggles with alcohol.
The Harder They Fall: Celebrities Tell Their Real Life Stories of Addiction and Recovery
And here's a very scary article about the Byrds drummer who died a very pain-filled death from alcoholism:
A LETTER FROM THE LATE MICHAEL CLARKE
-
Your struggle & pain are not unique, but they are very real to you.
Others have done it before you. You sound very determined to stick with this, and you should. Stop drinking and avoid the certain train-wreck of your life spent in a bottle.
Peace & success to you.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Great to see you have a new plan! Sounds like you're going to have a fun time in the process, doing all those things with your family. Good for you. 
Have you checked out the AVRT discussions on the Secular Connections forum? Interesting stuff...
Success isn't defined by whether you get knocked down. What happens next—that's what matters.
Have you checked out the AVRT discussions on the Secular Connections forum? Interesting stuff...
Success isn't defined by whether you get knocked down. What happens next—that's what matters.
I love this place.
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 329
Originally Posted by RevivingOphelia
Check my join date. I'm ending a Day Four--again.
I'm not giving up, and I hope you don't either.
I'm not giving up, and I hope you don't either.
lillyknitting
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Loughton, Essex, England
Posts: 638
Originally Posted by 4mykids723
I am not going to waste anyone elses time on here. I will deactivate my account tomorrow and return to simply being a failure and "trying my best". Why I cannot get this right is beyond me but I have proven myself worthless, gutless and without any willpower to speak of. My family should be ashamed. To all that tried to help and provided encouragment, thanks and I am sorry. Hope the rest of you are able to find success where I was only able to endure the open hand slap to the face that is failure.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: USA
Posts: 64
Thanks all. I appreciate all of the support. I made it through another day today and powered through a business dinner where I was offered a Beer. Back at my Hotel here on this business trip and enjoying some quiet music in my room. Once I get caught up with work I will hit my new AVRT materials and the suggested links. Thanks so much!
DOS: 11/6/10
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Florida Panhandle, USA
Posts: 736
Please don't give up... as a sober musician I am getting ready to pick up my 2 year chip. It didn't magically come the first time I attempted sobriety. My sponsor is a working musician as well with 26 years... it can be done.
Don't be hard on yourself. We have all been there.
Don't be hard on yourself. We have all been there.
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