Hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: okc, ok
Posts: 1
Hello
Hello everyone!
I have been lurking on this site for a few years but have never had enough courage to really post anything. A little on my background--I am a 35 year old mom of three wonderful kids and I have a problem with alcohol. Even though I stumbled across this site years ago through a search unrelated to drinking, once I started looking around it made me realize my issues. I started off drinking around age 19 and almost immediately I could consume waaaayyy more than everyone else. The used to call me the "warrior" because I could drink so much and somehow still function. After I had my first son at age 22 that pretty much stopped except for the occasional binge. It kept building and the occasional turned into the frequent and the frequent turned into the daily. By 2009 I was drinking every night...mostly wine or beer. In 2010 we had two deaths in our family and it did cause me to re-evaluate. I believe that was around the time I found sober recovery. Realizing that I had a problem kinda took the fun out of it. I was able to cut back to weekends only but by this time the hangovers are so soul suckingly bad that I can't function for 2-3 days after. I have been sober for 46 days and really feel great. I have told my husband and even though he doesn't agree that I have a problem; he is being very supportive.
I know there has to be something to fall back on, but as of right now I am not using any formal "program". I am looking into SMART recovery meetings online (there are none locally that are "open") and possibly AA. I am not a religious person, but also know that there are ways to make that work. I actually have two friends from the "warrior" days that have 10+ years through AA.
Thanks to anyone who has made it through this novel, and thanks for this site because without it I could still be in denial!
I have been lurking on this site for a few years but have never had enough courage to really post anything. A little on my background--I am a 35 year old mom of three wonderful kids and I have a problem with alcohol. Even though I stumbled across this site years ago through a search unrelated to drinking, once I started looking around it made me realize my issues. I started off drinking around age 19 and almost immediately I could consume waaaayyy more than everyone else. The used to call me the "warrior" because I could drink so much and somehow still function. After I had my first son at age 22 that pretty much stopped except for the occasional binge. It kept building and the occasional turned into the frequent and the frequent turned into the daily. By 2009 I was drinking every night...mostly wine or beer. In 2010 we had two deaths in our family and it did cause me to re-evaluate. I believe that was around the time I found sober recovery. Realizing that I had a problem kinda took the fun out of it. I was able to cut back to weekends only but by this time the hangovers are so soul suckingly bad that I can't function for 2-3 days after. I have been sober for 46 days and really feel great. I have told my husband and even though he doesn't agree that I have a problem; he is being very supportive.
I know there has to be something to fall back on, but as of right now I am not using any formal "program". I am looking into SMART recovery meetings online (there are none locally that are "open") and possibly AA. I am not a religious person, but also know that there are ways to make that work. I actually have two friends from the "warrior" days that have 10+ years through AA.
Thanks to anyone who has made it through this novel, and thanks for this site because without it I could still be in denial!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
Cacona, I can really relate to what you said about the hangovers getting soul suckingly bad. It really does turn into a "you buy the ticket, you take the ride type of thing". As time went on the ride got worse and worse for me, a brief period of pleasure followed by days upon days of feeling like 9 kinds of hell with anxiety and depression becomming a part of the equation.
The beauty of it all is that you can totally avoid going to the haunted house of hangover hell by just not buying the tickets anymore. I used a lot of visualization, whenever I thought about drinking I brought up mental images of being back in the haunted house and asked myself if that's where I really wanted to go. It does seem that when the pain starts to outweigh the pleasure the decision isn't all that difficult.
Congrat's on the 46 days and all the best going forward!
The beauty of it all is that you can totally avoid going to the haunted house of hangover hell by just not buying the tickets anymore. I used a lot of visualization, whenever I thought about drinking I brought up mental images of being back in the haunted house and asked myself if that's where I really wanted to go. It does seem that when the pain starts to outweigh the pleasure the decision isn't all that difficult.
Congrat's on the 46 days and all the best going forward!
Re:Hello Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,537
Welcome! Doesn't it feel good to get that out in the open? I felt so much better when I came here and shared my feelings with people who really understood.
Happy you found us - you'll never be alone with this.
Happy you found us - you'll never be alone with this.
Thriving sober since 12/18/08
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,115
Welcome!! I don't believe there are any coincidences.. but however you got here, I'm so happy you're here.
Ya know.. almost 4 years later and my husband would STILL probably say "Really? You don't think you can drink again ever?" and even be ok with it if I said "Hey, why not.. ". He'll never ever understand this stuff, I will never expect him to. I shake my head at him, and move along with my day when he comes up with that type of nonsense.
Ya know.. almost 4 years later and my husband would STILL probably say "Really? You don't think you can drink again ever?" and even be ok with it if I said "Hey, why not.. ". He'll never ever understand this stuff, I will never expect him to. I shake my head at him, and move along with my day when he comes up with that type of nonsense.
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