tammy711

It was so real, so frightening, and so sad.

The dream had many dimensions, but waking up having drunk the night before was so real. I could tell I was in the guest bedroom. (The place I usually slept when I drank too much.) I woke when it was still very dark, my brain foggy. Where was I? I reached out to feel the night stand to confirm where I was... it was the guest bedroom night stand. Oh no. What did I do?

My mind scrambled to remember the night before - I couldn't even remember taking the first drink. Then the worst, my husband comes in and turns on the light. I stay silent. What does he know? His demeanor was eerie because I couldn't tell what he knew. Did he even know? Why in the hell am I in the guest room!? Maybe I lied last night and I had a very good reason for sleeping in here that didn't relate to getting drunk.

In my dream I wanted to reach out to my husband and apologize and tell him I have no idea why I drank. I was scared and so overwhelmingly sad. But, if he didn't know did I really need to confess - all those old emotions stirred in me like a terrible wind storm.

When I woke up - really woke up, IN MY OWN BED - the relief flooded over me, but it almost didn't seem real. I jolted up and touched everything - my pillow, the water next to my bed, I even stood and turned the closet light on - yes, my room and that was just a freakin' dream.

I lay there reflecting on the entire dream - the night that led to my drinking was part of my dream too. Events that could have really happened. The black out was the hardest part of my dream to relive. I could remember with such intensity my desire to remember the night before.

I am still analyzing that dream - I only awoke a little over an hour ago. It seems to be so telling on a few different levels.

I am just so very thankful I woke sober and free. I plan to journal about it in more detail later today.

pipparina

Tammy
I had many drunk dreams. Still do occasionally. They usually follow the same script -somehow I find myself drinking a glass of wine or something else. After drinking 1/2 the glass, I realize "hey, I'm not supposed to be drinking.". Then in the dream I feel terrible that I threw away years of sobriety, but if I don't tell anyone, I don't have to start at day one again. Oh the mental hoops I jump through in the dream or awful.

When I wake up, I am thrilled to know it was just a dream. It is also a good warning to me about how I would feel if I ever picked up a drink again.

flutter

I *still* have those dreams. I complained about it to my counselor who said something to the effect of "consider it a freebie, you go back out and drink, you feel the shame/regret/etc those first few moments before you realize it was just a dream, and it helps solidify your commitment to recovery".

tammy711

Love it! Thank you for taking the time to post that knowledge.

SoberCAH

I have been sober for a long time and I still have occasional drinking dreams.

The scenario you describe is similar to the types of drinking dreams that I periodically have.

They are almost predicatble.

When I first got sober, going to bed was kind of like going out drinking.

MycoolFitz

Yes I still have drinking dreams, even one's where I'm hiding the booze. I ake in a panic looking for the bottle and don't know if I want to find it or not. But its getting better.

Music

My wife and I were talking about this subject the other day and she says she's never had a drunk dream. I've had several and believe me they scared me to death. I experienced emotions behind those dreams like they were real. The remorse I felt for taking that first drink was terrible. I used to worry about them 'cause I felt like maybe they were signs of things to come, or maybe I wasn't doing enough toward sobriety. I've come to the conclusion that God has allowed me to experience these dreams as a reminder in the safety of my own bed. When I wake up I'm so grateful that it was just a dream and my next thought is thank you God for not making it real. I haven't had one for a while but I'm sure there's probably one in my future at some point.

Caledonia1

That was very helpful. Thanks

aNewEternity

during my sober runs of 30 and 39 days I had drinking dreams multiple times a week. perfectly normal

cfm

DO NOT WISH THEM GONE. Those dreams are God's little gifts to us to remind us once in awhile.

LSC1

I've had some dreams like this....In my dreams I've spat it out then stressed about having to get on to SR and ask if that meant I had to start at Day 1 again LOL

Sasha4

I have them every night almost.
I wake up in a panic as a I used to do when I was drinking.
Trying to remember everything I did, check my clothes etc.
I also dream I smoked cigarettes too, which I have not done for 4 years.

I hate them.
They make me feel very alone and very sad and serve as a horrid reminder of the past.

Boleo

[QUOTE=tammy711;3595404
- I couldn't even remember taking the first drink. [/QUOTE]

I have hundreds of dreams where I found myself drinking but couldn't remember taking the first drink. They never lead to anything.

Live2Run25

I still have these dreams alot. They are awful. I had a dream last night I was smoking crack, and had a drug test the vey next day at work. I cried to the person doing the test and told them everything. Strange thing is i've never done drugs.. Alcohol was my DOC. I guess it's just manifesting in different ways.

tammy711

As I lay me down to sleep, I give my soul to sobriety to keep.
If I die before I wake, I give my soul to sobriety to take.


--

ADS20012012

I've posted about this very same thing before. Even though it sounds weird, its nice to know that other people have experienced this same thing. I will say that the longer time of sobriety you have, the dreams happen less and less, but who knows if they really ever go away. Just have to remember its ONLY a dream. Thank God!!!

Good luck