saris

I'm curious, when did you realize you had a problem with Alcohol? What was your moment of truth so to speak?

Kza

About 20 years ago yet stupidly carried on drinking. knowing and stopping are two very different things. I "knew" when people told me things like 'aren't you worried about your health."

Dee74

When drinking bought me problems - embarrassments, injury, illness, financial worries, relationship issues - it was pretty obvious.

so...I knew I had a problem for many years before I quit - I knew...but I didn't accept it.

I kept hoping I could 'control' my drinking.

Welcome to SR Saris - hope to see you around

Pondlady

When I realized I couldn't "just not drink". I'd read information and would tell myself, well just don't drink....but then I would. I'd pop into the store with the idea of cooking something....but geez....ended up in the wine isle....how did that happen? Husband would call and say he was at grocery, did we need anything? I'd reply " Yes. Milk, fruit, yogurt, wine, peanut butter, bread and toilet paper". Notice a theme....wine always crept in......even when I said I wasn't going to drink ........

tomsteve

yup, that was me. i stuffed it with booze and denial. it was the day after my last drunk when the pain of getting drunk finally exceeded the pain of reality, it was take another drink and kill myself or get help, that i got out of the denial and fully conceded that alcohol was the problem in my life.
that was 4/22/05.

Kza

That is exactly the way I feel now.

Gavinandnikki

When I woke up every day nauseous with the shakes and realized that I needed a drink to quiet my withdrawal symptoms.

I love being sober, more than I ever thought possible.

Pam

MycoolFitz

The first time I drank. It was like love at first sight.

gaffo

I remember telling my mom that I was an alcoholic when I was eighteen. It only took me twenty eight years to quit. I went for a long, long time knowing that I had a problem but honestly not seeing quitting as a possible solution. It just seems crazy to me thinking about it now.

Username1

Pretty soon into the beginning of my drinking. Soon as in within the first few months. 6 years later im into the longest i've been without a drink since i took those first sips.

binger33

When I blacked out for the fourth straight time...after having planned out carefully how I would moderate my drinking every one of those nights. I would wake up the next morning absolutely disgusted with myself that I couldn't hold myself to those self-promises. After the fourth time I had learned all I needed to and dealt with more emotional, post-binge pain than I could ever imagine. I knew this wasn't going to stop if I kept it up and finally admitted I am an alcoholic. Day four, going strong, not looking back.

Admiral

I saw my drinking heading in the same direction that my smoking had. There were the same excuses, same patterns, same thought processes. By that time I was up to about one to three times a week and knew I had to stop. I knew that marijuana had been difficult, and that alcohol would be much worse if I allowed myself to sink to the same level.

livingsober

For me it was a slow immersion. But eventually, aside from the obvious fact of the sheer quantity I was drinking, there were some other tells:
[*]Having to cycle through a rotation of liquor and grocery stores out of embarrassment over cashiers knowing how much I bought[*]Having to drive across state lines to get around purchasing restrictions[*]Not being able to sign a thank you card without running home for a quick set of shots, due to the shake[*]Forgoing mixing in favor of drinking straight from the bottle[*]Having a bottle ready by my bed for when I woke up at night, then...[*]Having a bottle by my bed for the morning[*]Managing the quantity purchased each day to avoid drinking too much (who buys a pint besides an alcoholic?)[*]Walking through my day every day with a constant thread of thought telling me I was a fraud - and if only people knew of my problem...[*]Feeling good about quitting, such that I could rationalize starting over again, time and time again

There was no one moment, but as this evidence accumulated, things eventually were crystal clear, and then I sought help and stopped.

driftapart

This.

My epiphany occurred when I got a DUI.

I could live with being a sloppy drunk and embarrassing myself, but I can't live with putting innocent people in danger and being a criminal. That's not me.

saris

Thanks to everyone for your insights.

FenwayFaithful

I think deep down I've known I've had a problem since I picked up my first drink when I was 16. I just got really really good at denying it.

The first time it really hit me in the face was when I was 21 and I drove so drunk that I ended up on the wrong side of the highway. Didn't kill anyone or hurt anyone or get caught, Thank God but it's still one of the scariest things I've done. Yet I'm 24 now and have still justified my drinking despite many other horrible experiences.

Also in AA listening to others stories that mirror my experiences or feelings exactly

MrsKing

I knew, deep down, that I had a problem for a few years, just through comparing the way I drank to the way my friends drank. What really forced me to admit that I had a serious problem and had to do something about it RIGHT NOW was after a night during which I did some very stupid things (stupid is an understatement) and did the very thing my alcoholic aunt did... I used my cousin's death (her daughter but my foster sister) as an excuse to continue drinking. It still makes my stomach turn now. I feel so disgusted by myself for doing it but at the same time... it forced me to open my eyes and see myself for what I was and who I was becoming... so it was a good thing, I suppose, in the end.

tomsteve

and thats when i walked through the doors of AA. its been a blessing.

onlythetruth

I knew for years that I had a problem, but I tried to ignore it, or somehow fix it without actually putting down the bottle. My moment of truth, when I realized that there was no fixing it without permanent abstinence, followed a horrible scene that I was unwilling to EVER repeat.

flutter

About 20 years before I quit. Makes me sad that I screwed up 20 years of my life, but very grateful that I wont screw it up anymore (with alcohol at least ).