vivid-red

I'm still consuming alcohol but in much smaller amounts, less often....

I know SR does not tolerate moderation/attempted moderation from alcoholics.....

so I'm saying good bye and thank you.

I won't be back unless the sh*t hits the fan.

Charon

Where did you get that idea? SR is the most tollerant and accepting group I've ever experienced. We are actually happy for people who can moderate. Most of us have tried and unfortunately found that we can't.

MrsKing

I think for as long as you are willing to learn from others' experience and support others then you are most definitely welcome here, vivid-red.

If in any way being here will help stop you from waiting until $hit hits the fan, then you should stay.

vivid-red

Well you know,.....I do think SR has helped keep my drinking under control since I signed up here along with family support.

So yes, I would still like to take part even though I'm not 100% sober all the time......

vivid-red

I just don't like to give the wrong impression to people who do need to be tee-total.....

moderation just does not work for most of us!

pipparina

I think it better you keep in touch on this site than disappear from us. Then, when you're ready to stop, you will already have friends on here to help you. Of course, we'd be there for you regardless, but don't cut yourself off.

AA's only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking. I've never seen someone turned away from the doors because they were drunk. I don't think anyone here would turn you away either.

vivid-red

I guess moderation for me is like being a tight rope walker......very risky......yet I must still see some benefit of alcohol.

flutter

You're right in that this isn't a forum where we can encourage drinking or drugging, it's against the guidelines. But, if your way isn't what works for you and you want some support and encouragement you're always welcome!

vivid-red

I could have been in the gutter already had it not been for my family+SR community....

flutter

A lot of people post here that are still struggling, still trying to moderate, or drinking all the time. It's ok to ask for help, but please don't be surprised or offended if nobody cheers you on for drinking, ya know? A lot of us have come to a point to where drinking is literally a life or death thing. I think *most* of us have attempted 'moderation' or other methods of desperately holding on to alcohol. For me, it was exhausting and a failure. Even if I could moderate, the obsession about it.. the when, the how much etc was just as deep as it was when I was drinking all the time. I'm happy you've found some support here, it's what we do !

vivid-red

Flutter-

maybe I'm just too stupid to commit to full recovery.

I'm surprised I didn't get flamed for this thread....thanks.

Jade1224

i am like you, i believe i can moderate myself but its stressful to even think about. i have to work at it. i have to tell myself okay i am only having two drinks tonight and i have to fight to not want another one. its just annoying and i would just rather quit for awhile. i'm not saying i wont pick up in a few months. maybe i wont! maybe ill be happier. i'm going out to a club with my husband on wednesday. i've already made the decision not to drink.
maybe i will still have fun without the drinking. and i wont be stressed out about driving home.

Threshold

vivid

I was drinking and drugging when I came here, and for 6 more months before I realized I couldn't moderate, and quit. There there were some relapses, some due to me trying moderation out for myself.

SR NEVER turned me away.

In the end, though I didn't go in any mad benders during my 'hey maybe I can moderate" thing...I still saw, and very clearly that I was better off quitting. It just made life better on many many levels.

We each have our OWN journey. Us respecting that and respecting our own journey as well is critical.

The issues arise when anyone tries to bully others or convince others that THEIR was is THE way and that others should follow suit.

You can be honest about how you are dealing with your situation, and as long as you are not arguing that your way is what we should all be doing, no harm done. This is how we learn.

That being said, no, these forums can't condone the use of drugs and alcohol, and out of respect for that, even while I was still using, I didn't come round and claim that it was good and right and why don't we all just drink. But inside myself I had misgivings about my drinking, and knew that this place could help me. The way it helped me was to be with me while I learned that no amount of drinking and drugging is appropriate in MY life.

I know firsthand that hearing that message can be very difficult for people who want to keep drinking and drugging at what they feel is an acceptable level..I was one of those people.

flutter

You aren't stupid at all. You're just working it out.. we all have very different journeys in recovery, and hopefully nothing gets worse before it gets better

Charon

In a way I "moderated" the whole time I was drinking. By that I mean I seldom pounded them down and got really blitzed. On the other hand, once I started I would sip, and sip, and sip over many hours till it was time for bed. Then do the same thing the next evening. It wasn't till my body started to betray me (got old) that I found that even this slow steady drinking caused me to be hung over badly, and for several days. At that point the pain and discomfort and simple unproductiveness (couldn't accomplish anything) got to me and I desperately wanted to quit. I finally have. Before I was able to no one here castigated me, nor at AA meetings, nor on other forums. We all have been there - desperately wanting to be able to keep drinking, relapsing even after we wanted to quit, attempting to moderate. Some are able to find a way to moderate. Personally, I find it way more effort than it's worth. For me it's just so much easier to focus on other things that are fun and pleasurable and that don't leave me feeling poorly. I also find that I have a lot more money for those fun things these days.

Ranger05

I think boards like this are really difficult to gage whether a person will be able to moderate or not. Everyone is different. But it seems to me that the fact you actually drink until you black out is a bad sign that moderation might not work for you. But hey, trying to moderate is better then trying nothing at all.