what do you say if people guess your a alcoholic
 

Ok so im officially trying again to get sober, today is day 2, in the past the longest ive lasted is 13 days but i hope this time it will work.

Anyway my question is.

How do you lot react when people guess you drink too much.

My sister has started to question why my face is red and puffy with black round eyes. She said do i drink too much, welll i was shocked as i thought id hiddden it well as wel live 50 miles from eachother so dont see eachother much.


Then there was last month when i a friend i hadnt seen in ages who happens to be a doctor, he asked if i was allright as my skin oppeared to be red and i seemed to be abit jittery, he then asked do i drink much, well i couldnt lie so i replied. Like a fish, but i havent seen him since so with i hadnt told him now.

I never realised how much people can tell if your a alky without even seeing you drink

She said do i drink too much....

Who cares what people think, you DO NOT drink now and are NOT going to drink again..

Good luck, you can do this.

Good luck Cheese.
Keep posting

Wait until people start telling you how amazingly well you look. :)

Not realy... those who knew me well knew & those that didnt I didnt care about ;-)

Just wait when they see you next time without the red face & with glowing skin & the bloating is gone... oh Yeah!

All of the best in your recovery, you can do this :ring

I hoped people thought I was depressed, when I look miserable all the time!

It all comes down to....Do you think you have a problem?....If the answer is yes....What are you willing to do to solve it?....Obviously you are going to need a little more than you did when you made it to 13 days. This isn't real easy.....It's doable....But it takes some effort.

The look will go away. About 2 weeks to a month I started to look better. Good luck to you friend.

Hi cheese!

It's great that you are back at it!!

Sure, it shows in our faces, but the longer we abstain the healthier we become and that also shows.

:grouphug:

If sobriety lasts one day it works. I was honest with my family and friends, like they didn't know. I'm slowly learning its about recovery not shame.

Hi cheese!! I was thinking of you. I am so happy your back. Good for you!
I don't have much to offer with the question. Maybe tell them the truth. it can't hurt. It might help you along this road if people know of your struggle and what you are trying to accomplish. Get everyone on board.

Hi Cheese
Tell them you're on a health kick and the longer you get sober the less you care. Worked for me.
All the best, day at a time.:grouphug:

You say " yes, l have problems with alcohol..." and you don't care what they think because you are above that...
And you might think what sort of problem this person has...

Nice one!

Are you going to meetings? You don/t have to do this alone.

Earthworm

Honestly this doesn't seem like something that would be a problem, I mean I just can't see people asking on a regular basis.

There's some thread around here that talks about the physical change after people quit, and most people said they noticed a big difference, so the good news is you probably won't have the redness and alcoholic look forever.

I keep saying i will go a meeting then i chicken out of it

A meeting can't hurt. It's 1 hour. If you don't like it you can try something else. Try on all the methods of recovery and see what fits. Good luck to you cheese.

I see "the drink" in people all the time now...the eyes, their skin, the puffiness. It looks to me like they're being ritualistically poisoned one day at a time.

And of course, they are.

I used to have lots of people guess.
Some quiet observations, others loud and obnoxious.
For some it was out of kindness, others - I am not sure of their motivation, I am not sure caring was the top of their agenda.


I don't really advertise what I am doing or make any big thing of it.
To me it's massive and a total life turnaround that is 100% better than I could have ever imagined.
Now I have stopped, some people seem generally pleased, others confused, others think it's strange.

I usually group responses this way...

If they are pleased, they have guessed and they knew.
If they are confused, they probably did not know.
If they think it is strange, no way did they know.

I choose who I share it with too.
If someone asks why I just say 'I have set myself a challenge and I want to stop drinking for a year'.

If those who know my history ask why have you stopped drinking I say 'well I was never very good at it was I?'
They usually laugh, which is nice...
By this I mean I did outrageous daft things when drunk, could not control my drinking, blacked out.......was a general all round plonker.

My boss has always drunk too much.
However he often used to project his drinking onto me. Saying I had drunk too much to take the pressure of him.
Now I do not drink at all, so he cannot do it.
Sometimes when we are on our own he talks about some of the physical symptoms he is having, which to be qute frank I DO NOT WANT TO KNOW!!!!

I wonder if deep down he knows he has signs of being a problem drinker?
Is he sounding me out so I can say ' I would not worry about mate' and make him feel better.
I won't do that. He never extended me that courtesy.
Recently I have started saying that I think his health problems are all due to drink and if he stopped for a month, the redness and puffiness in his face would go. His tummy would feel better and his gout would clear up for good.

But I suppose it takes one to know one....! However, I never had gout.

But I do think we think we hide it well when we are drinking and we really don't. We shake, we smell, we look ashamed after a blow out.

Don't be worried about going to be a meeting....get gone Cheese.
I have never felt more at home or in better company when I am with a bunch of ex drunks who are talking about how much happier they are when they are not drinking.
We all know how each other feels and understands.
And as one old timer at meeting says - 'I did not get sober to be a miserable tw@t' - we all have a good time, serious stuff aside.

I will take you to one if you want?
Now you have nothing to be scared of.

Any thoughts from my post?

S
xxxx

I have found a local meeting tonight, so will go, its in 7 hours,

Thankyou sasha, you do make a lot of sense. I can and will do it this time