vivid-red

When people talk to you like sh!t and you absolutely hate the world and everything in it.....

being sober seems like a waste of effort at times.....

I know this is bad thinking.... but I've got to remember the mess I was in with alcohol......

vivid-red

I'm so tired of SR too....most of my threads get bugger all responses.....I know I'm a "troll"

Sapling

I guess that all depends whether you feel like being drunk would make it better...When people talk to me like sh!t I soberly move on.

vivid-red

I'm working on not being a negaholic now.

Taking5

Its OK to be bothered by things. Normal people, unlike us alcoholics, do not run to the bottle when something gets under their skin, they just deal with it.

Sapling

It gets better...Every day you don't drink gets better....Recovery takes work...What are you doing for your recovery?

RobbyRobot

You're early in recovery, yeah?

Cut yourself some slack to at least give yourself a chance to check out what is going on with getting sober...

We learn what to do by experience, and that takes some time, so that is all there is to it, really. These early times are just the start of a wonderful life, and don't judge what you are going thru now as what you will always be dealing with. If sobriety/living drunk free really sucked, none of us would ever stay sober...

Interesting you called yourself a troll. Shaming yourself is only going to make it harder to relax and take it easier...

Good to see you're back at not drinking. Do you have a workable way to stay quit?

Cheers!

vivid-red

Robby-
yes, I'm on day 6 again......

I did something stupid today...considered getting some weed but at the price they are asking and the fact I should not be doing that I decided not to.

Oh well these moods come and go thanks everyone for the support this time I didn't give in!

RobbyRobot

Yeah, you're right, that was dumb enough, lol.

You're in the midst of your addiction ambivalence -- wanting to be both sober and drunk, both clean and high, all at the same time -- so that is why you tried to score... its not something personally wrong with YOU... its your addiction what is being a dumbass, okay?

Have you considered that the fight you're having with yourself is a classic addiction fight, which at whatever respective levels, is felt by everybody, no exceptions?

To not have that internal fight is to not be hounded by addiction ambivalence, okay? Some would even say, that without the fight, the addiction is no longer present, or active.

So, take the weight off you and put it on your addiction, and then enjoy how much better YOU feel about YOU.

Can you see yourself and your addiction as seperate?

Thanks for the feed back.

vivid-red

Ok, that was some good food for thought right there. thanks very much.


I'll try to do something productive with the rest of my day and see you guys later....

CarolD

Each time you have a negetive thought....immediately replace
with 2 positive ones....

Someguy23

Negative thoughts aren't necessarily a bad thing.

Life sucks sometimes... and people often do. It's probably healthier to complain, swear, blow off all the steam and only then move on than to keep it in and force yourself to move on immediately...

It's certainly healthier than drinking and toking to ignore it.

I doubt anyone thinks you're a troll, but this site gets a lot of traffic so it's only natural that urgent or uplifting posts get more attention and others get lost in the midst.

Impurrfect

Life is tough sometimes. I'm over 5-1/2 years into recovery and STILL dealing with consequences I brought on myself.

Guess what...I'm grateful! I had several close calls with death, with prison, etc. Today I'm in recovery and I'm broke, jobless, living with family but I am grateful.

Yes, I DO have my down days, when it seems all futile. I refuse to let them last long, though - 2 days max.

Congratulations on day 6!! I remember when I couldn't imagine having ONE day.

Hugs and prayers,

Amy

zjw

I used to hate complaining hated hearing it from tohers hated doing it myself. It seemed so pointless. You could wine and complain for hours getting all angry upset and mad and accomplish nothing. Then i got more hooked on booze and became much a negaholic like you said. I'm over a year sober now and I'm just now turning that corner I think ::crosses fingers:: I've had to lie to myself about the bright side anything to keep my chin up! telling myself positive thoughts that i've always felt where just BS. In any crummy situation i FORCE myself to find any shred of a silver lining even if its a crummy one its better then nothing. ALl of that is starting to cement in now and I'm finally becoming less negative. It should get better for you it can be slow go at times but it does get better.

Its very doubtful you got to the point your at now over night it takes some time to undo the nonsense booze has done to our brains.

Threshold

I have those days sometimes. Had one about two days ago, ugh. Totally felt the "why do I bother" thing.

Reminded myself that it was a lousy day, it'll pass. They happen, then they move on. Did a gratitude list because even crap days...I have things in my life I am happy for, and it's good to remind myself of that.

And it did pass, because I let it pass rather than did something to escalate it. sort of like a helium balloon, if I don't mess with it, in a day or two it'll lose helium and come back down on it's own.

Sounds like your feeling better. I'm glad you made some good decisions for yourself.

MissyShelle76

Being sober and realizing that the world, our lives, aren't suddenly perfect is hard. We stop drinking and want a medal, a parade, something. Instead, we are faced with the mess we created while drunk. Our houses, our families, our relationships, our finances, ourselves. And it sucks. But part of attaining true sobriety is learning to face it, fix it and move forward.

It's not easy and it hurts . . . a lot. But as alcoholics, we are faced with two choices: Do it and deal with it or keep drinking and create an even bigger mess . . . or die.

Negativity is okay. Just use it to motivate you forward.

zjw

I swear theres something in booze that just gums up our brain cells if that makes any sense. I really didnt think straight while drinking. and it took a while after i gave it up till i slowly started to think more clearly. Its as if it twists our thoughts and screws with our brains in such a way we have really no idea that it has untill long after we've given it up and things start working more how they should in that noggin.

thats how it is for me anyhow.