NYCDoglvr

Oh yea, over 21 years I never hear a peep from "civilians". That's because they have no comprehension about alcoholism and recovery. I tried but noticed people's eyes would glaze over after a few minutes. Only other alcoholics understand how difficult it is to not drink one day at a time.

Ok, I don't know what it's like to have brain surgery.

behindblueyes

I love this post! Congrats. I am 41 days today and if anything all I have heard is that my former best friend and all of my bar friends are saying I won't make it and think I am a joke and a "loser". These are exact words. No congratulations, phone calls or texts but what can you expect from people when you aren't on their "team"?

My mother said good job. My father, who drinks eight beers plus a day, offers me drinks still. Sad. Keep the faith.

DarkDays

Your doing good.

Most are brainwashed when it comes to alcoHELL.

Just keep going forward, times are changing, sober is becoming very cool,

tomsteve

i used to be selfish and self centered,too. there i was puttin in all this footwork to change me and leanr how to live without alcohol and no one outside of AA was sayin anything like,"hey,bro, good work."
my sponsor was the one who said something to this effect:"well, it looks like yer the only one joinin in yer pity party. if you notice, i havent told ya anything like that either. i aint gonna give ya kudos for something you should have been doin all along. theres a high probability that those people who you aint getting kudos from dont really believe yer serious about recovery and dont trust ya. can you blame em? you were a drunk for a long time and left a wake of wreckage everywhere ya went. now, why did you get into recovery?"
took me a while to cool down from that stuff, but he was right.


so, lets look for the problem and solution: why is it you feel you should have kudos from others?

zjw

I had the same problem. Why i joined here and went to AA. Was nice to be around some folks that actualy understood the achievement. Cant knock these people I knwo for me I fail to notice other peoples achievments with various things becuase its just not as big of a deal to me as ti is to them.

I'm really bad at dishing out compliments too so i cant get too mad at others for not giving em to me. But my first year sober was really difficult and yeah it felt like no one cared. I'm over it now tho wtvr.

MWL1983

I get congratulations from people in AA when I reach milestones of sobriety.

My closest friends in sobriety are very blunt people, but they do it in funny and friendly way. Here is a take that I got on this topic from one of them, and I thought it was pretty self-revealing (and comedic).

To paraphrase: Wait, you're telling me that nobody's in awe of my amazing ability to not inject, smoke, or snort hard drugs, swallow prescription narcotics, or sit alone in a room for days on end getting drunk?

I've always felt very unsettled when people outside of recovery congratulate me. You wouldn't congratulate anyone else of complying with the treatment of a chronic disease, would you? It feels condescending and patronizing, to me. That's my ego though.

Anyone in recovery knows how hard it is to straighten your life around, maintain abstinence from addiction, and transform yourself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.

With that said, congratulations on your progress in recovery. Most of us addicts/alcoholics don't make it this far.

aasharon90

I remember hearing at the beginning of
my recovery how it is a selfish program.
Selfish in the way that every man for
himself. If I dont take care of me in
staying sober, no one else will. Meaning,
I cant depend on anyone else to keep
me sober but me, myself and I.

It is sad that many dont recieve the
recognition for their accomplishments
in life, in many things that they do, including
staying sober for whatever length of time
they have.

And staying sober does take daily maintanance
and vigilence to remain happy joyous and free
in recovery.

I love watching golf and heard some of the
players comment on how they are there to
compete and play their game and not to worry
what so and so is doing. They are their for themselves
to win the trophey, title and money. It's a job that
pays the bills.

It doesnt mean you have to ecnore others or
be mean or rude to another in recovery or golf
or whatever because thats not being a nice person.
In all my yrs, i have tried to be cordial to others
and treat them the way Id like to be treated to
only be treated otherwise. Ive come to learn that
I cant make people like me and thus have to
accept that fact. Then too, i dont have to like
others either or like their behavior. Not everybody
is the same or having the same day as I. Just because
I am living a much happier life in recovery doesnt
mean they have too. We all have different views,
issues, indiviual bodies, souls and minds which make
each of us unique in our own ways.

I stay sober for me and I share my own ESH because
it helps me stay sober and has for a many one days
at a time now. If I can reach somebody in my lifetime
with that then im cool with then ive accomplished what
I have been called to do.

And that is how it has been working for me.

fluffyflea

I found when I stopped drinking people didn/t dish out kudosprobably because they were so sick of me by then they just didn/t want to know.

Earthworm

Griffman

This blogpost helped me tremendously. The second point is relevant to you, as well as I and I am sure many others here.

Alcohol Free: What Happens When You Stop Drinking?

EDIT: On second thought since you have been sober for so long point number 2 is may not be relevant. However, look at point six. Helps me tons.

ICame2Believe

I find it amazing that in not even one post that anyone considered that if just might be a "Higher Power" that got them sober!! I wouldn't have a day without my HP!! Thank God, His blessings are more than a mortal congratulations! He and I are still doing this ODAAT, over 31 years now!!