How do you stop?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 6
How do you stop?
I want to stop drinking. I don't know if I am an alcoholic, but I definetely need my wine to 'unwind' in the evening. And that is the problem. I used to drink glass or two to give me energy to keep up with my kids until I put them to bed (no driving was involved). Now I need it to relax in the evening. I don't act weird or forget what I am doning, but I can drink one bottle per evening, and just feel a nice buzz.
I am worried for my health. I tried not drinking, but, I can't relax in the evenings, and I know it is not good.
I went to AA meetings - I can't really relate to them, because their lives have been destroyed by alcohol and mine is not (yet?)
I also am dealing with my husband recovering from drug abuse. Long story, bumpy road, but he is trying. I did not know about his drug use for a long time, so when mess hit the fan about 2 years ago, it was hard... I am trying to learn from 'his' mistakes and about 12 step program... I am having hard time with 'God' part of it... sorry....no offense intended....
So - what do you do that first day when you don't want drink, after you finished full day of work, have screaming kids on your back, dinner to make, and husband who wants attention....? How do you relax enough to keep it all together ?
I am worried for my health. I tried not drinking, but, I can't relax in the evenings, and I know it is not good.
I went to AA meetings - I can't really relate to them, because their lives have been destroyed by alcohol and mine is not (yet?)
I also am dealing with my husband recovering from drug abuse. Long story, bumpy road, but he is trying. I did not know about his drug use for a long time, so when mess hit the fan about 2 years ago, it was hard... I am trying to learn from 'his' mistakes and about 12 step program... I am having hard time with 'God' part of it... sorry....no offense intended....
So - what do you do that first day when you don't want drink, after you finished full day of work, have screaming kids on your back, dinner to make, and husband who wants attention....? How do you relax enough to keep it all together ?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: NYC
Posts: 1,225
I would suggest reading some of the posts on the Newcomers threads. See if anything you are feeling is the same as others who are trying to stop drinking. Are the reasons they wanted to stop at all similar to yours?
There is also information available in some of the threads on how people stopped. If you feel you have a problem with alcohol, you probably do. "normal" drinkers don't wonder if they're drinking too much.
There is also information available in some of the threads on how people stopped. If you feel you have a problem with alcohol, you probably do. "normal" drinkers don't wonder if they're drinking too much.
Galatians 5:13
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Tampa Bay
Posts: 329
I was there once too. One or two glasses was enough. Then it was a bottle. Then it was 6 glasses of wine... then nothing, but two bottles a night could do the trick. I kept trying to control the amount.
I hear you about AA - I can't relate either. It doesn't make us less of an alcoholic.
How do you stop?
You decide to. You make a plan to. AND it isn't anything you can do on your own. If AA isn't right, find something that is right. Google "AVRT". That is what helped me.
Don't miss out on your children's childhood. Alcoholism is progressive. Your bottle of relaxation will not work for long.
Good luck. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
I hear you about AA - I can't relate either. It doesn't make us less of an alcoholic.
How do you stop?
You decide to. You make a plan to. AND it isn't anything you can do on your own. If AA isn't right, find something that is right. Google "AVRT". That is what helped me.
Don't miss out on your children's childhood. Alcoholism is progressive. Your bottle of relaxation will not work for long.
Good luck. You're in my thoughts and prayers.
Galatians 5:13
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Tampa Bay
Posts: 329
Can you confide in anyone? Can you get a few days free of the every day challenges to start your sobriety? I know it can be hard to start. That is actually the hardest part because once you have a few days sewn together - that helps clear your head.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), you're going to need to learn about how to put together a recovery plan. Sobriety isn't just about not drinking. It is about living a full, healthy, balanced life without the presence of alcohol.
Unfortunately (or fortunately), you're going to need to learn about how to put together a recovery plan. Sobriety isn't just about not drinking. It is about living a full, healthy, balanced life without the presence of alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
good to see ya here!! what i am readining from ya is what i did when i got into AA: i was listening to the drinking thing. i thought for sure they ould throw me out! i hadnt been through electric shock treatment, hadnt been institutionalized, hadnt lived under a bridge or a doorway of the cass corridor, never experienced DT's, didnt start drinking once i woke up nor did i get very involved in hard liquor. but then i started listening and hearing( maybe that was when the fog lifted. IDK) the thinking thing. my thinking was just like the ones who had experienced everything i mentioned.
having a hard time with the God thing is quite common. you dont have to fret over it. all AA suggests is opening up to the idea that there is a power out there in the universe greater than you that will help you. the conception of that power is yours to decide. heres what got me thinking about the God thing:
Despite the living example of my friend there remained in me the vestiges of my old prejudice. The word God still aroused a certain antipathy. When the thought was expressed that there might be a God personal to me this feeling was intensified. I didn't like the idea. I could go for such conceptions as Creative Intelligence, Universal Mind or Spirit of Nature but I resisted the thought of a Czar of the Heavens, however loving His sway might be. I have since talked with scores of men who felt the same way.
My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"
That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.
It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning.
this is from bills story. it is int he big book of AA. it helped me greatly.
having a hard time with the God thing is quite common. you dont have to fret over it. all AA suggests is opening up to the idea that there is a power out there in the universe greater than you that will help you. the conception of that power is yours to decide. heres what got me thinking about the God thing:
Despite the living example of my friend there remained in me the vestiges of my old prejudice. The word God still aroused a certain antipathy. When the thought was expressed that there might be a God personal to me this feeling was intensified. I didn't like the idea. I could go for such conceptions as Creative Intelligence, Universal Mind or Spirit of Nature but I resisted the thought of a Czar of the Heavens, however loving His sway might be. I have since talked with scores of men who felt the same way.
My friend suggested what then seemed a novel idea. He said, "Why don't you choose your own conception of God?"
That statement hit me hard. It melted the icy intellectual mountain in whose shadow I had lived and shivered many years. I stood in the sunlight at last.
It was only a matter of being willing to believe in a Power greater than myself. Nothing more was required of me to make my beginning.
this is from bills story. it is int he big book of AA. it helped me greatly.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Originally Posted by eRecover 
I want to stop drinking. I don't know if I am an alcoholic, but I definetely need my wine to 'unwind' in the evening. And that is the problem. I used to drink glass or two to give me energy to keep up with my kids until I put them to bed (no driving was involved). Now I need it to relax in the evening. I don't act weird or forget what I am doning, but I can drink one bottle per evening, and just feel a nice buzz.
I am worried for my health. I tried not drinking, but, I can't relax in the evenings, and I know it is not good.
I am worried for my health. I tried not drinking, but, I can't relax in the evenings, and I know it is not good.
Its gonna be difficult to quit something that gives you want you want: a buzz.
Relaxing and feeling good can come from within without needing alcohol, as you know. Drinking is an easy way to feel good, until one day, you don't, and then alcohol can be a horrible task master. Things can eventually get very messy chasing that buzz...
Just quitting drinking itself wont work to feel as good as a buzz, so you're gonna have to find healthier choices. Changing how we experience ourselves, how we do what we do, how we avoid tripping ourselves out just to feel good at any cost is essential to quit drinking successfully, imo.
Are you interested in changing what makes you feel good?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Welcome to our recovery community...
We do have many members who quit useing a variety of methods
ideas and concepts. We also have members like me who found their
solution via AA
People also have stopped to improve their health...I'm sure not
drinking will improve that too....it did for me for years..
We do have many members who quit useing a variety of methods
ideas and concepts. We also have members like me who found their
solution via AA
People also have stopped to improve their health...I'm sure not
drinking will improve that too....it did for me for years..
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 6
Thank you for your input... I have been reading some threads here and see similar stories like mine.
I don't know what to think or do now. Today, I have no wine in my house and PM is approaching and I am planing to stop by the store and buy one bottle for this evening... Then I stop and think, let me try not drinking today... Then I start wondering, what am I going to do to relax?
I need to get motivated to stop. I need to see benefits of not drinking any wine for some time. All I know is I get easily overwhelmed and alcohol helps. Oh, how bad that sounds....
I don't know what to think or do now. Today, I have no wine in my house and PM is approaching and I am planing to stop by the store and buy one bottle for this evening... Then I stop and think, let me try not drinking today... Then I start wondering, what am I going to do to relax?
I need to get motivated to stop. I need to see benefits of not drinking any wine for some time. All I know is I get easily overwhelmed and alcohol helps. Oh, how bad that sounds....
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 218
E,
So far in my recovery(still erly, 60days) one of the really important things that I've learned is how important exercise is to the mind. Your comment on needing wine to keep from being overwhelmed was me, would have all of the stresses of life, Work, relationships, finances, build and build and I would binge and hide from them with wine. Problem is I'd drink a lot, blackout, etc.... I've learned that for me there are so many better ways to deal with these, and dealing with them sober is so much better than drunk. I work out daly, and do so longer when the stress levels start to rise. 60 days in and I feel great.
So far in my recovery(still erly, 60days) one of the really important things that I've learned is how important exercise is to the mind. Your comment on needing wine to keep from being overwhelmed was me, would have all of the stresses of life, Work, relationships, finances, build and build and I would binge and hide from them with wine. Problem is I'd drink a lot, blackout, etc.... I've learned that for me there are so many better ways to deal with these, and dealing with them sober is so much better than drunk. I work out daly, and do so longer when the stress levels start to rise. 60 days in and I feel great.
TiG
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Chicago Area
Posts: 381
Originally Posted by Needsassistance
E,
So far in my recovery(still erly, 60days) one of the really important things that I've learned is how important exercise is to the mind. Your comment on needing wine to keep from being overwhelmed was me, would have all of the stresses of life, Work, relationships, finances, build and build and I would binge and hide from them with wine. Problem is I'd drink a lot, blackout, etc.... I've learned that for me there are so many better ways to deal with these, and dealing with them sober is so much better than drunk. I work out daly, and do so longer when the stress levels start to rise. 60 days in and I feel great.
So far in my recovery(still erly, 60days) one of the really important things that I've learned is how important exercise is to the mind. Your comment on needing wine to keep from being overwhelmed was me, would have all of the stresses of life, Work, relationships, finances, build and build and I would binge and hide from them with wine. Problem is I'd drink a lot, blackout, etc.... I've learned that for me there are so many better ways to deal with these, and dealing with them sober is so much better than drunk. I work out daly, and do so longer when the stress levels start to rise. 60 days in and I feel great.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
Reading your posts, I notice that you really are resistant to not being able to "relax" for even one night.
Would it really be that hard to take a single night off from drinking?
If yes, I think you know your answer.
There are literally millions of people with kids, that don't need a bottle to cope daily.
Im not judging you, just making an observation.
Would it really be that hard to take a single night off from drinking?
If yes, I think you know your answer.
There are literally millions of people with kids, that don't need a bottle to cope daily.
Im not judging you, just making an observation.
Self recovered Self discovered
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Toronto Canada
Posts: 5,148
Booze was making me tense, but I drank it to relax. Booze was making me depressed but I drank it to feel happy. Booze was making my problems worse, but I drank to cope with them.
I didn't understand this until I stopped drinking and could finally see what I had been doing to myself. Continuing to drink was madness, and it was making me less sane every day. Anyone can not drink for a minute, right? Make the vow to not drink in 'this' minute like this: I have decided to not drink now. And now. And the now that comes next too.
Not drinking is a great idea. I recommend it to everybody.
I didn't understand this until I stopped drinking and could finally see what I had been doing to myself. Continuing to drink was madness, and it was making me less sane every day. Anyone can not drink for a minute, right? Make the vow to not drink in 'this' minute like this: I have decided to not drink now. And now. And the now that comes next too.
Not drinking is a great idea. I recommend it to everybody.
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