Im back
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 207
Im back
I'm back and yes in a very short time, my drinking did get progressive. I heard it did, but for me it never did - until it did. So day two here for me. Going to AA tonight and will use that as well as smart recovery. Today I'm depressed, confused, upset over almost losing someone very special to me over the weekend due to blackout actions. And not knowing it this person will really still want to be with me.
But I'm trying to stay positive - in that I am recommitting to stopping and staying stopped. I am an alcoholic and am surrendering right now.
But I'm trying to stay positive - in that I am recommitting to stopping and staying stopped. I am an alcoholic and am surrendering right now.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
welcome back and good on ya for gettin to a meeting. i sure hope you are doin it for you and you alone.
the day after my last drunk, my then fiance threw me out. i dont blame her. it was a blessing though. that was when the pain of getting drunk had finally exceeded the pain of reality and i was desperate: get help with the drinking or take another drink and kill myself. i chose to go to AA.
i had this lil thought in my head,though, that maybe, just maybe she would take me back. i had to work really hard to not let that thought( quite an insane thought for the matter) be my reason why. it was because i wanted to stop drinking and do it for myself.
it has been a blessing. i know it can be the same for you iffen ya do it for you and put in the footwork.
the day after my last drunk, my then fiance threw me out. i dont blame her. it was a blessing though. that was when the pain of getting drunk had finally exceeded the pain of reality and i was desperate: get help with the drinking or take another drink and kill myself. i chose to go to AA.
i had this lil thought in my head,though, that maybe, just maybe she would take me back. i had to work really hard to not let that thought( quite an insane thought for the matter) be my reason why. it was because i wanted to stop drinking and do it for myself.
it has been a blessing. i know it can be the same for you iffen ya do it for you and put in the footwork.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2006
Posts: 207
Tomsteve- I am doing it for me. I know that something really bad is going to happen if I continue. But I will admit, Seeing tears in another persons eyes over what I did (but have no memory of it), how I made them feel - really, really got to me. When I drink - I only care about me. I push people away and can be not such a nice person. And that is totally opposite to who I am. I am a kind, loving person sober.
So if the fact that I really hurt someone I'm really trying to get to know better and possibly have a future with and not wanting to lose that person, gives me some motivation to quit - I'll take it at this point.
So if the fact that I really hurt someone I'm really trying to get to know better and possibly have a future with and not wanting to lose that person, gives me some motivation to quit - I'll take it at this point.
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