vivid-red

I'm on day 2 again after making a fool of myself around family with alcohol.

It's been about 3 years since I have wanted to stop drinking, so it just goes to show that some of us take longer to quit than others, but at least I haven't given up my desire to be sober....

Feeling strong and in the right place to do this (for good this time)......
also cutting down on the number of cigs I smoke.

If I were to say there was anything that leads to a relapse for me I'd say it is reasoning with myself i.e telling myself I can have 2 or 4 drinks then stop....

now I know that is a load of b0ll0cks.

dox

Welcome back. Now you know. There is no mental defense against the first drink. What can you do if there is a next time?

Huey

strat. Have you got to AA ? or do you have another structured recovery program in mind ?

vivid-red

I once went to AA and I know it is not the best thing to judge it on your first meeting but I just felt that it was really boring and made me want to walk out for a drink....

I suppose I need something that is fun to take up my sober time and I have recently got into building models which I enjoy....

so my plan is to keep busy, remember the negatives about drinking and keep posting here for a while....

thanks.

aeo1313

Welcome back-

You now know for a fact that the voice telling you that you can safely have 2 or 4 drinks and stop is a LIE. Go with that- don't listen to that voice anymore!

vivid-red

Fortunately I don't have to deal with physical withdrawl symptoms... my addiction is purely mental I believe.

Huey

strat. Maybe take a look at the Rational Recovery website, it works using AVRT, Addictive Voice Recognition Technique. . I find it very useful, and has helped me maintain sobriety for 8 months.

doggonecarl

What you haven't given up is the desire to drink.

Threshold

Couple thoughts. I have NO idea if AA would be good for you or not. But..couple things to consider. Apparently at the time you went to that meeting, you weren't done with drinking, because you kept drinking. Going now might be a very different experience.

A lot of time going to meetings ISN'T fun. That's not what they are about. There are things in life worth doing that aren't heaps of fun. Commuting to work and doing laundry are two things that spring to mind. No matter what, there are aspects of recovery that aren't going to be fun, but they'll still be worth doing.

I think holding out till we find a recovery program that is totally fun isn't a good plan.

I DO think it's important and great to find fun things to do in recovery, with our lives. Absolutely a critical part of any life, recovery or otherwise. Recovery shouldn't be all serious and dour and painful.

SR has been a huge asset in my recovery. I couldn't do without it, but even SR isn't much fun for me lots of times. Sucks reading things I don't want to hear. Sucks being reminded of things I'd rather forget. But I find myself coming back day after day because it is WAY worth it.

Lot's of recovery methods out there.

Slits

Well, you can always keep on the path you are going on until you become Chemically Addicted like I did. Alcoholism always gets worse. It never gets better. Eventually the misery will either kill you or force you to the alter of stopping for good and getting your sanity back. Or, you could just do that now and save yourself and those around you all of that suffering.

CarolD

Welcome back HS....

I do hope this will be your time for sobreity

vivid-red

One thing I love about being sober is that I can live happily without the guilt alcohol brings.

aeo1313

^^this^^

No more sneaking around. Applies even more to when I was using- no more hiding in the bathroom for a hit of pot and then spraying the heck out of the room hoping no one would know. No more fear of someone opening my purse and finding pill bottles. I used to carry my purse everywhere. Last week at work I someone wanted gum and I told them to just open my purse and find it- what a sense of freedom!

vivid-red

Still sober, on a really positive note I'm on day 3 smoke free from cigarettes......

I never thought I could last that long I was smoking every 20 minutes all day!!!
I'm using patches and I think they really do help a bit so if anyone else is considering quitting smoking I'd say give it your best shot....if I can do it anyone can!....

vivid-red

My sober time was exactly 7 days then last night I had 2 glasses of red wine.....

but what's important is that I don't let this escalate into regular drinking again.

I must put my foot down now!

vivid-red

and I'm back smoking cigs.....couldn't handle the withdrawl.

pipparina

Welcome back!

freshstart57

This makes me sad to hear this. There most certainly is a defense against the first drink, there must be one. For me, if there were no defense, I would be dead by now, I'm sure.

Please look at AVRT before you believe this. There is help for this, and help that works.

2granddaughters

AA is my salvation. I hated/couldn't stand it in the beginning as well but I wanted what the oldtimers had so I kept going to meetings.
Soon the meetings, instead of being the penalty I had to pay for being an Alcoholic, became the opportunity for a new way of life.

I was, for decades, helpless against the first drink and we all know what happens when we take that first drink..... Today my H.P. gives me the strength I need on a daily basis to stay sober and grow in spirituality.. the very thing I need but fight tooth and nail to accept sometimes.

Doing what's "fun" was what got me here in the first place. I had to seek out what I needed... not what I wanted. I had to surrender to AA.

I wish you the best.

Bob R