Contributing
 

Hi guys, I was just wondering when you guys actually contributed to a meeting by raising your hand and actually saying something. I have been now going to AA for two weeks and havent said a word except today raised my hand when us new comers told of how many days we have and our name. Is it ok Im not contributing yet? Im just so nervous and really dont want to say anything yet. thx

My sponsor had me not share for the first 30 days...Which was fine...It was better for me to listen to what was going on than have to worry about what I was going to share. Once I was working the steps I had more to share about....As they talk about in the book...You can't transmit what you don't have. Your call though...There are no rules for it...I just did what my sponsor suggested.

Yes in my first AA home group....we were asked to raise our hand
and say our first name for 30 days.

It was a rather large daily meeting...and that was all that was expected
It was an Open Discussion meeting..

A few weeks later...
I also started attending a smaller meeting that only met on Sundays.
It was a Step meeting so we all shared about the Step.
That is where I began shareing..:yup:.

These days I keep my share to less than 3 minutes
in the hope that newcomers will take action.

I think it's important to hear from newer members ..others
new can relate easier...:)

1st meeting. "im tom, im an alcoholic and i cant take it any more" was all i could say and broke down.

Other than dumping feelings and situations, a person who hasn't worked the steps can't really share about how the steps are working in their life. Read the big book and keep going to meetings. Ask your higher power to help you when you need to and to ask when to share at a meeting. Soon enough, you will get that inspiration from your higher power; you can and will share on the first 3 steps! You will just know that it's time! Or you'll know when you need to ask for help or tell about yourself. :)

Hugs & love,

I've heard all sorts of confusing input on this. One minute people say the newcomer is the most important person in the room. Then one of them shares, and the next minute someone is talking about taking cotton out of their ears and putting it in their mouths.

one sponsor says keep quiet until 30 or 90 have gone by, another gives their sponsee the assignment of sharing at their next meeting.

I've sat through many meetings where the entire discussion was whether or not newcomers should share.

I found the endless arguments over it way more distracting or detrimental than any share by any newcomer.

My feeling about shares is if you have something on the subject that you feel you need to say, speak up. Keep it under five minutes (three is even better) unless it's critical to keep talking. Nearly every share has something to offer at least SOMEONE else in the room. Every old timer might roll their eyes over something a newbie says, but there will be some other newbie in there thinking "hey, someone here DOES feel like me! I'm in the right place!"

In a step study or literature meeting, I think it's good to stay aware of our experience level and rather than a newbie sharing "advice" on a step, ask for clarification, mention where they are struggling, or admit they don't understand how to apply it.

Sponsors can usually offer good feedback to a newbie on the nature of their shares.

if you don't feel like sharing, that is fine. As long as you are talking to someone, maybe after the meeting or before, or a sponsor. I rarely shared in all the years I went to meetings. Just didn't like to. But I made sure to talk to people after the meeting, especially if something was going on with me.

If you feel you need to share, then share. If you feel like keeping quiet then keep quiet. When I was going to AA my group was very kind and relaxed. Newcomers were ALWAYS free to share whatever was going on. No one was ever made to feel bad about talking, or not talking. I hope you find the same in your group.