Wanting to quit and struggling
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 112
Wanting to quit and struggling
I've been going to meetings for nearly a year and I've still not put together extended sobriety. I have sponsorship and connections in AA. I'm coming off of 3 days of consecutive drinking after 3 days of "sobriety".
I have no delusions that I'm not alcoholic. I'm convinced that I am. I haven't thought otherwise for some time.
The thing is, the reason I drank yesterday was because come mid-to-late afternoon, I could feel the jitters coming on, and I didn't want to be like that around my partner.
I've got a lot to lose, and checking into detox could cause me to lose it.
What I want to do is to stop "on my own", but jump back into my recovery. What I really want right now is relief from the physical symptoms of the disease. This morning, I feel shaky and jittery and anxiety. Like all of you, I know that the drink will remove the symptoms. I don't want to jump back on that roller coaster though.
What should I do? I've noticed that chamomile tea seems to help, but I listen to any advice right now.
Help.
I have no delusions that I'm not alcoholic. I'm convinced that I am. I haven't thought otherwise for some time.
The thing is, the reason I drank yesterday was because come mid-to-late afternoon, I could feel the jitters coming on, and I didn't want to be like that around my partner.
I've got a lot to lose, and checking into detox could cause me to lose it.
What I want to do is to stop "on my own", but jump back into my recovery. What I really want right now is relief from the physical symptoms of the disease. This morning, I feel shaky and jittery and anxiety. Like all of you, I know that the drink will remove the symptoms. I don't want to jump back on that roller coaster though.
What should I do? I've noticed that chamomile tea seems to help, but I listen to any advice right now.
Help.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I was in and out of AA...mostly in for years.
It took me 4 years to earn my 1 year medallion...
Here is what finally worked for me....I read a book about alcoholism
it explained to me why I returned to drinking tho I had decided
to stop. It was all about my brain and liver enzymes ..who knew?
You can order "Under The Influence" by Milam & Ketcham from Amazon
they also have a sequal "Beyond The Influnce" by Ketcham and ??
I took that info...re connected to God and went back to AA
and began my Step work.
I've not had another drink ..nor have I wanted to.
I wish I had checked with my doctor about how best to de tox.
It was miserable and risky of me not to have done so.
I hope you will...
Welcome to our recovery community....
All my best to you and your partner
It took me 4 years to earn my 1 year medallion...
Here is what finally worked for me....I read a book about alcoholism
it explained to me why I returned to drinking tho I had decided
to stop. It was all about my brain and liver enzymes ..who knew?
You can order "Under The Influence" by Milam & Ketcham from Amazon
they also have a sequal "Beyond The Influnce" by Ketcham and ??
I took that info...re connected to God and went back to AA
and began my Step work.
I've not had another drink ..nor have I wanted to.
I wish I had checked with my doctor about how best to de tox.
It was miserable and risky of me not to have done so.
I hope you will...
Welcome to our recovery community....
All my best to you and your partner
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Here are some links I hope you will take the time to read
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
This is a bit messed up due to a site break down ...getting
the book yourself is a better option IMO
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Here is a link to the method/program Huey mentioned.
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I have no expereince with either as I was already AA recovered
before they came to be.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...at-we-did.html
This is a bit messed up due to a site break down ...getting
the book yourself is a better option IMO
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html
Here is a link to the method/program Huey mentioned.
Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
I have no expereince with either as I was already AA recovered
before they came to be.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
1st off, 3 days without drinking isnt really sober.
sober-sedate and rational;marked by earnestly thoughtful character or demeanor.
have you been able to stop on your own so far? to me, just what ya wrote doesnt like you have been able to.
one thing i learned in AA is that going to meetings and not drinking doesnt treat alcoholism. there is footwork.
IMO, you drank because you are an alcoholic. its what we do. crushed by a self imposed crisis we could not put off or avoid, we either find a solution or gt drunk.
what was it that drew you to AA?
sober-sedate and rational;marked by earnestly thoughtful character or demeanor.
have you been able to stop on your own so far? to me, just what ya wrote doesnt like you have been able to.
one thing i learned in AA is that going to meetings and not drinking doesnt treat alcoholism. there is footwork.
IMO, you drank because you are an alcoholic. its what we do. crushed by a self imposed crisis we could not put off or avoid, we either find a solution or gt drunk.
what was it that drew you to AA?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 112
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
1st off, 3 days without drinking isnt really sober.
sober-sedate and rational;marked by earnestly thoughtful character or demeanor.
have you been able to stop on your own so far? to me, just what ya wrote doesnt like you have been able to.
one thing i learned in AA is that going to meetings and not drinking doesnt treat alcoholism. there is footwork.
IMO, you drank because you are an alcoholic. its what we do. crushed by a self imposed crisis we could not put off or avoid, we either find a solution or gt drunk.
what was it that drew you to AA?
sober-sedate and rational;marked by earnestly thoughtful character or demeanor.
have you been able to stop on your own so far? to me, just what ya wrote doesnt like you have been able to.
one thing i learned in AA is that going to meetings and not drinking doesnt treat alcoholism. there is footwork.
IMO, you drank because you are an alcoholic. its what we do. crushed by a self imposed crisis we could not put off or avoid, we either find a solution or gt drunk.
what was it that drew you to AA?
Thanks for your reply. What I meant by "on my own" is without the aid of medical detox and/or checking myself into a detox or rehabilitation facility.
I have been able to amass some sober time in AA... a few months, at most. I also have sponsorship and work steps (1-5). I have a higher power of my own conception and it's one that I believe in a pray to, even on the nights and mornings following a spree
Desperation drew me to AA. Originally, I wasn't convinced I qualified for membership, but that was before I know that all I needed was a desire to stop drinking. I didn't believe I was alcoholic, but in the nearly 1 year I've been in AA, I have since been thoroughly convinced for some time.
So, I understand why I drink - I'm an alcoholic. I just either need to arm myself with greater spiritual support/faith, rely on the fellowship in all its forms, and most importantly, not pick up no matter what. If that's not enough, then I'm going to have to check myself into a rehabilitation facility to physically separate myself from the drink. I want to give it 1 more go at abstinence before I do that.
I appreciated the AVRT conception (I think it was AVRT) of an "addictive self" and "recovering self". My disease is deceptive and powerful. I hope that my faith in a higher power can protect me from the 1st drink.
I am happy to report though that by the evenings end, I felt much, much better than I had at the time of my original post. I've been loading up on nutritious, nutrient-dense foods and water, and I even got a good night's sleep.
It's been about 40 hours since my last drink and the majority of the symptoms, all but slight tremors and very mild anxiety, seem to be subsiding rapidly.
These next 24-48 hours will be the true test though, because once I feel better, the addictive self will start back in, suggesting I reward myself with a drink. It's baffling to me because I no longer enjoy drinking or the feeling it gives me. It's complete insanity, but that's my disease.
I'm going to stay as connected with my higher power as possible over these next days (and hopefully longer). I hope I've reached my bottom, because I want sobriety.
I'd like to check back in routinely for support. I may even start a daily blog as a way to keep myself accountable.
Thanks for your support and I would certainly appreciate your prayers.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
I posted this in another thread yesterday....Maybe it can help you. It really is as simple as this.
I love this article Clarence Snyder did for the Grapevine....He was one of the original 100.
I've Never Quit Being Active
by Clarence Snyder
A.A. Grapevine, November 1999
On February 11, 1938, I had my last drink. I was a chronic alky, and through a long, involved miracle, I met my sponsor, Dr. Bob, one of our co-founders. He put me in Akron City Hospital, where I met the alkies who had preceded me in the Fellowship.
Fifteen months later, I organized the Cleveland, Ohio AA group. The activity in the Cleveland area was hectic. I spent practically all my time obtaining and following up on publicity for AA, lining up cooperation with civic and church groups, hospitals, and courts, and helping new groups to start.
So what do I do now, thirty years later? I have never quit being active, although my position in the Fellowship has modified over the years. I attend an average of two meetings per week, when I am home. I am also asked to speak at various groups. In addition, I am invited to take part in numerous group anniversary programs and AA roundups around the country (and sometimes out of the country). Many people call upon me for counsel and advice on both personal and group problems. I have an extensive correspondence, since I have made so many friends in AA from coast to coast. Once in a while, I sponsor someone. Cases where about everything has been tried, by everyone else, often wind up in my hands.
I have not found the program to be difficult, and I maintain that if it does seem difficult for anyone, he is not doing it "right." Certainly, when I came to this Fellowship, I was in no position or condition to handle anything difficult! I kept things simple. But I must add that when I first began I was well sponsored.
I took measures now summarized in the first nine Steps of the program: admittance of need (the First Step), surrender (Second through Seventh), and restitution (Eighth and Ninth). Having done this, I no longer had a drinking problem, since it had been turned over to a Higher Power. Now I had - and still have - a living problem. But that is taken care of by the practice of Steps Ten, Eleven, and Twelve. So I don't have to be concerned about anything but a simple three-step program, which with practice has become habitual.
Step Ten enables me to check on myself and my activities of the day. I have found that most things disturbing me are little things, but still the very things which, if not dealt with, can pile up and eventually overwhelm me. My daily checkup covers good deeds as well as questionable ones; often, I find I can commend myself in some areas, while in others I owe apologies.
Step Eleven is done after my daily inventory. I usually need the peace resulting from prayer and meditation, and I do receive guidance for my life and actions.
Step Twelve, to me, does involve not only carrying the message, but extending AA principles into all phases of my daily life.
I learned long ago that this is a life-changing program, but that, after the change occurs, it is necessary for me to go on making the effort to improve myself mentally, morally, and spiritually.
This is my simple program, and I recommend it to anyone who wants a good life and is willing to do his share of helping.
C.H.S., St. Petersburg, Florida __________________
I love this article Clarence Snyder did for the Grapevine....He was one of the original 100.
I've Never Quit Being Active
by Clarence Snyder
A.A. Grapevine, November 1999
On February 11, 1938, I had my last drink. I was a chronic alky, and through a long, involved miracle, I met my sponsor, Dr. Bob, one of our co-founders. He put me in Akron City Hospital, where I met the alkies who had preceded me in the Fellowship.
Fifteen months later, I organized the Cleveland, Ohio AA group. The activity in the Cleveland area was hectic. I spent practically all my time obtaining and following up on publicity for AA, lining up cooperation with civic and church groups, hospitals, and courts, and helping new groups to start.
So what do I do now, thirty years later? I have never quit being active, although my position in the Fellowship has modified over the years. I attend an average of two meetings per week, when I am home. I am also asked to speak at various groups. In addition, I am invited to take part in numerous group anniversary programs and AA roundups around the country (and sometimes out of the country). Many people call upon me for counsel and advice on both personal and group problems. I have an extensive correspondence, since I have made so many friends in AA from coast to coast. Once in a while, I sponsor someone. Cases where about everything has been tried, by everyone else, often wind up in my hands.
I have not found the program to be difficult, and I maintain that if it does seem difficult for anyone, he is not doing it "right." Certainly, when I came to this Fellowship, I was in no position or condition to handle anything difficult! I kept things simple. But I must add that when I first began I was well sponsored.
I took measures now summarized in the first nine Steps of the program: admittance of need (the First Step), surrender (Second through Seventh), and restitution (Eighth and Ninth). Having done this, I no longer had a drinking problem, since it had been turned over to a Higher Power. Now I had - and still have - a living problem. But that is taken care of by the practice of Steps Ten, Eleven, and Twelve. So I don't have to be concerned about anything but a simple three-step program, which with practice has become habitual.
Step Ten enables me to check on myself and my activities of the day. I have found that most things disturbing me are little things, but still the very things which, if not dealt with, can pile up and eventually overwhelm me. My daily checkup covers good deeds as well as questionable ones; often, I find I can commend myself in some areas, while in others I owe apologies.
Step Eleven is done after my daily inventory. I usually need the peace resulting from prayer and meditation, and I do receive guidance for my life and actions.
Step Twelve, to me, does involve not only carrying the message, but extending AA principles into all phases of my daily life.
I learned long ago that this is a life-changing program, but that, after the change occurs, it is necessary for me to go on making the effort to improve myself mentally, morally, and spiritually.
This is my simple program, and I recommend it to anyone who wants a good life and is willing to do his share of helping.
C.H.S., St. Petersburg, Florida __________________
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 112
Originally Posted by Sapling
I posted this in another thread yesterday....Maybe it can help you. It really is as simple as this.
I love this article Clarence Snyder did for the Grapevine....He was one of the original 100.
I've Never Quit Being Active
by Clarence Snyder
A.A. Grapevine, November 1999
On February 11, 1938, I had my last drink. I was a chronic alky, and through a long, involved miracle, I met my sponsor, Dr. Bob, one of our co-founders. He put me in Akron City Hospital, where I met the alkies who had preceded me in the Fellowship.
Fifteen months later, I organized the Cleveland, Ohio AA group. The activity in the Cleveland area was hectic. I spent practically all my time obtaining and following up on publicity for AA, lining up cooperation with civic and church groups, hospitals, and courts, and helping new groups to start.
So what do I do now, thirty years later? I have never quit being active, although my position in the Fellowship has modified over the years. I attend an average of two meetings per week, when I am home. I am also asked to speak at various groups. In addition, I am invited to take part in numerous group anniversary programs and AA roundups around the country (and sometimes out of the country). Many people call upon me for counsel and advice on both personal and group problems. I have an extensive correspondence, since I have made so many friends in AA from coast to coast. Once in a while, I sponsor someone. Cases where about everything has been tried, by everyone else, often wind up in my hands.
I have not found the program to be difficult, and I maintain that if it does seem difficult for anyone, he is not doing it "right." Certainly, when I came to this Fellowship, I was in no position or condition to handle anything difficult! I kept things simple. But I must add that when I first began I was well sponsored.
I took measures now summarized in the first nine Steps of the program: admittance of need (the First Step), surrender (Second through Seventh), and restitution (Eighth and Ninth). Having done this, I no longer had a drinking problem, since it had been turned over to a Higher Power. Now I had - and still have - a living problem. But that is taken care of by the practice of Steps Ten, Eleven, and Twelve. So I don't have to be concerned about anything but a simple three-step program, which with practice has become habitual.
Step Ten enables me to check on myself and my activities of the day. I have found that most things disturbing me are little things, but still the very things which, if not dealt with, can pile up and eventually overwhelm me. My daily checkup covers good deeds as well as questionable ones; often, I find I can commend myself in some areas, while in others I owe apologies.
Step Eleven is done after my daily inventory. I usually need the peace resulting from prayer and meditation, and I do receive guidance for my life and actions.
Step Twelve, to me, does involve not only carrying the message, but extending AA principles into all phases of my daily life.
I learned long ago that this is a life-changing program, but that, after the change occurs, it is necessary for me to go on making the effort to improve myself mentally, morally, and spiritually.
This is my simple program, and I recommend it to anyone who wants a good life and is willing to do his share of helping.
C.H.S., St. Petersburg, Florida __________________
I love this article Clarence Snyder did for the Grapevine....He was one of the original 100.
I've Never Quit Being Active
by Clarence Snyder
A.A. Grapevine, November 1999
On February 11, 1938, I had my last drink. I was a chronic alky, and through a long, involved miracle, I met my sponsor, Dr. Bob, one of our co-founders. He put me in Akron City Hospital, where I met the alkies who had preceded me in the Fellowship.
Fifteen months later, I organized the Cleveland, Ohio AA group. The activity in the Cleveland area was hectic. I spent practically all my time obtaining and following up on publicity for AA, lining up cooperation with civic and church groups, hospitals, and courts, and helping new groups to start.
So what do I do now, thirty years later? I have never quit being active, although my position in the Fellowship has modified over the years. I attend an average of two meetings per week, when I am home. I am also asked to speak at various groups. In addition, I am invited to take part in numerous group anniversary programs and AA roundups around the country (and sometimes out of the country). Many people call upon me for counsel and advice on both personal and group problems. I have an extensive correspondence, since I have made so many friends in AA from coast to coast. Once in a while, I sponsor someone. Cases where about everything has been tried, by everyone else, often wind up in my hands.
I have not found the program to be difficult, and I maintain that if it does seem difficult for anyone, he is not doing it "right." Certainly, when I came to this Fellowship, I was in no position or condition to handle anything difficult! I kept things simple. But I must add that when I first began I was well sponsored.
I took measures now summarized in the first nine Steps of the program: admittance of need (the First Step), surrender (Second through Seventh), and restitution (Eighth and Ninth). Having done this, I no longer had a drinking problem, since it had been turned over to a Higher Power. Now I had - and still have - a living problem. But that is taken care of by the practice of Steps Ten, Eleven, and Twelve. So I don't have to be concerned about anything but a simple three-step program, which with practice has become habitual.
Step Ten enables me to check on myself and my activities of the day. I have found that most things disturbing me are little things, but still the very things which, if not dealt with, can pile up and eventually overwhelm me. My daily checkup covers good deeds as well as questionable ones; often, I find I can commend myself in some areas, while in others I owe apologies.
Step Eleven is done after my daily inventory. I usually need the peace resulting from prayer and meditation, and I do receive guidance for my life and actions.
Step Twelve, to me, does involve not only carrying the message, but extending AA principles into all phases of my daily life.
I learned long ago that this is a life-changing program, but that, after the change occurs, it is necessary for me to go on making the effort to improve myself mentally, morally, and spiritually.
This is my simple program, and I recommend it to anyone who wants a good life and is willing to do his share of helping.
C.H.S., St. Petersburg, Florida __________________
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 112
Good Morning All,
Last night was the first night that was challenging. My partner and I got into a small disagreement and rather than engage in it, I went for a stroll in our neighborhood. I found that voice creeping in that I could just walk down to the store, but I found a quiet spot in a neighborhood park and prayed for strength.
It didn't come immediately, but it did arrive soon afterwards. So, as of now I haven't had a drink since Sunday.
My physical symptoms are 95% gone, and my mood is much improved. I'm on the right path and grateful for it.
Last night was the first night that was challenging. My partner and I got into a small disagreement and rather than engage in it, I went for a stroll in our neighborhood. I found that voice creeping in that I could just walk down to the store, but I found a quiet spot in a neighborhood park and prayed for strength.
It didn't come immediately, but it did arrive soon afterwards. So, as of now I haven't had a drink since Sunday.
My physical symptoms are 95% gone, and my mood is much improved. I'm on the right path and grateful for it.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by MWL1983
but I found a quiet spot in a neighborhood park and prayed for strength.
It didn't come immediately, but it did arrive soon afterwards.
It didn't come immediately, but it did arrive soon afterwards.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 112
Yesterday was a challenging day. My past caught up with me and I'm having to face the consequences of my actions. It's out of my control and that made (makes) me very uncomfortable. To top it off, my relationship issues carried over from the day before.
My old friend alcohol offered up a solution to ease my anxiety and fears. I actually cried over it, but I asked in desperation for something to relieve the temptation to drink and silence my addict self.
Instead, I went to a meeting and heard someone who'd just earned a year of sobriety tell of how they were still facing the wreckage of the past, but they were staying sober.
I left feeling better, but still fearful because I had the house to myself last night - a perfect chance to drink.
Just as soon as I got home though, I got an e-mail from my employer asking me if I could spend some time that evening working from home on a project we're completing.
I called my sponsor and spoke with him at the end of the night and explained, reluctantly, what had happened and how I'd dealt with it.
Then, I went to bed grateful that I'd made it through one more day without picking up a drink.
My old friend alcohol offered up a solution to ease my anxiety and fears. I actually cried over it, but I asked in desperation for something to relieve the temptation to drink and silence my addict self.
Instead, I went to a meeting and heard someone who'd just earned a year of sobriety tell of how they were still facing the wreckage of the past, but they were staying sober.
I left feeling better, but still fearful because I had the house to myself last night - a perfect chance to drink.
Just as soon as I got home though, I got an e-mail from my employer asking me if I could spend some time that evening working from home on a project we're completing.
I called my sponsor and spoke with him at the end of the night and explained, reluctantly, what had happened and how I'd dealt with it.
Then, I went to bed grateful that I'd made it through one more day without picking up a drink.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by MWL1983
Yesterday was a challenging day. My past caught up with me and I'm having to face the consequences of my actions. It's out of my control and that made (makes) me very uncomfortable. To top it off, my relationship issues carried over from the day before.
My old friend alcohol offered up a solution to ease my anxiety and fears. I actually cried over it, but I asked in desperation for something to relieve the temptation to drink and silence my addict self.
Instead, I went to a meeting and heard someone who'd just earned a year of sobriety tell of how they were still facing the wreckage of the past, but they were staying sober.
I left feeling better, but still fearful because I had the house to myself last night - a perfect chance to drink.
Just as soon as I got home though, I got an e-mail from my employer asking me if I could spend some time that evening working from home on a project we're completing.
I called my sponsor and spoke with him at the end of the night and explained, reluctantly, what had happened and how I'd dealt with it.
Then, I went to bed grateful that I'd made it through one more day without picking up a drink.
My old friend alcohol offered up a solution to ease my anxiety and fears. I actually cried over it, but I asked in desperation for something to relieve the temptation to drink and silence my addict self.
Instead, I went to a meeting and heard someone who'd just earned a year of sobriety tell of how they were still facing the wreckage of the past, but they were staying sober.
I left feeling better, but still fearful because I had the house to myself last night - a perfect chance to drink.
Just as soon as I got home though, I got an e-mail from my employer asking me if I could spend some time that evening working from home on a project we're completing.
I called my sponsor and spoke with him at the end of the night and explained, reluctantly, what had happened and how I'd dealt with it.
Then, I went to bed grateful that I'd made it through one more day without picking up a drink.
1 year in recovery is just the first "speed bump" on the sobriety highway. Talk to the oldtimers in your group and listen to their stories, ask them your questions.
Sounds to me that you are experiencing that saying in AA "The first year is a gift"... now the work begins. I know, I've been doing it for a while.
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 112
Originally Posted by 2granddaughters
How many meetings do you attend per week?
I'm attending 6-8 meetings/week. Once I have a few more days under my belt, I'd like to start visiting the local detox center to see if I can help in any way (I've done it in the past).
Initially, I groaned at 90 in 90, but despite my trouble in keeping sober, I've only missed about 10-15 days in the last year without a meeting. My failures don't reflect my lack of dedication or belief in AA. I love AA. I've just not worked as solid of a program as I need to.
As of now, my withdrawal symptoms are 98% gone and I'm in a good place to make yet another go at long term sobriety. For now, I'm grateful that I'm sober today.
Most of my close friends in recovery are younger (19-32), and none have more than a year. They work good programs though and within that crowd, I try to stick with the winners. I need to make connections with some of the old timers in the program who's experience, strength, and hope can help keep my attitude and ego in check.
I'm also finding that SR is a good outlet to maintain accountability and stay connected.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Originally Posted by MWL1983
Hi Bob,
I'm attending 6-8 meetings/week. Once I have a few more days under my belt, I'd like to start visiting the local detox center to see if I can help in any way (I've done it in the past).
Initially, I groaned at 90 in 90, but despite my trouble in keeping sober, I've only missed about 10-15 days in the last year without a meeting. My failures don't reflect my lack of dedication or belief in AA. I love AA. I've just not worked as solid of a program as I need to.
As of now, my withdrawal symptoms are 98% gone and I'm in a good place to make yet another go at long term sobriety. For now, I'm grateful that I'm sober today.
Most of my close friends in recovery are younger (19-32), and none have more than a year. They work good programs though and within that crowd, I try to stick with the winners. I need to make connections with some of the old timers in the program who's experience, strength, and hope can help keep my attitude and ego in check.
I'm also finding that SR is a good outlet to maintain accountability and stay connected.
I'm attending 6-8 meetings/week. Once I have a few more days under my belt, I'd like to start visiting the local detox center to see if I can help in any way (I've done it in the past).
Initially, I groaned at 90 in 90, but despite my trouble in keeping sober, I've only missed about 10-15 days in the last year without a meeting. My failures don't reflect my lack of dedication or belief in AA. I love AA. I've just not worked as solid of a program as I need to.
As of now, my withdrawal symptoms are 98% gone and I'm in a good place to make yet another go at long term sobriety. For now, I'm grateful that I'm sober today.
Most of my close friends in recovery are younger (19-32), and none have more than a year. They work good programs though and within that crowd, I try to stick with the winners. I need to make connections with some of the old timers in the program who's experience, strength, and hope can help keep my attitude and ego in check.
I'm also finding that SR is a good outlet to maintain accountability and stay connected.
My recovery has happened in "stages". The first while was surface recovery and the longer I'm around the deeper it goes.
Having a H.P., a good solid sponsor, a good meeting schedule and a balance of oldtimers and newcomers sounds like the recipe for success.
Pray on this and see what happens.
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 112
Day 5 of sobriety
Still (to be expected) having nightly cravings to drink, but I'm getting through it with the help of my higher power (and some accountability here).
I can definitely feel my mood shifting to the more a negative and cranky tone than it has been and usually is. It's either the disease talking or I'm legitimately cranky over things that should make me cranky.
I can't tell the difference though.
Still (to be expected) having nightly cravings to drink, but I'm getting through it with the help of my higher power (and some accountability here).
I can definitely feel my mood shifting to the more a negative and cranky tone than it has been and usually is. It's either the disease talking or I'm legitimately cranky over things that should make me cranky.
I can't tell the difference though.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Huntington, WV
Posts: 225
I can only tell you that its worth hanging in AA; mainly because the more I keep coming back, the more I have learned about myself, not just the disease of alcoholism. I would have never learned how to control my emotions or be patient or think of others.. these things are leading me to to not want to drink because the rewards are beginning to show themselves, but I had to keep on coming back in spite of my stupidity in order to keep learning. I even abandoned my old concept of God and embraced a loving God today. That was difficult coming from the Bible Belt.
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