DalyCityTrain

Had 11 days sober yesterday, felt great, had a unusually serene morning.
Went to the park, fly fished etc. Came home feeling great and I guess I got bored.

I began to debate with myself about having a drunk. Of course I got all worked up, twisted and eventually got a pint of whiskey.

Took a couple drinks and it made me feel awful. Would have felt much better sober. Anyway I drank it all, chasing a euphoria that wasn't there and passed out.

I always seem to crack after a week and a half or so. Anyway, last night convinced me that alcohol does absolutely nothing good for me. It doesn't make me feel good anymore. Day one again for me.

bjames

Well just remember how crappy you felt... keep it in mind when those thoughts creep up again.

pipparina

Sorry to hear you went through that, but you're back here and that's what matters. If you find something triggers you (boredom?), then try to prepare for it. When you start feeling bored, have a plan to do something, whether it be logging on here, going to a meeting, calling someone, reading the BB. Once that argument of drinking vs not drinking starts, it can be difficult to fight.

I know for me, boredom was a trigger too. So I had to distract myself.

bbthumper

The Big Book talks about how we get to a point where the memory of the suffering of even a week or a month ago does nothing to prevent us from drinking. We hit a strange mental blank spot, like the one you talked about where a drink seems like a good idea.
For me the realization that alcohol did nothing good for me was never enough to keep me from drinking. My will power always lost to the insane idea that "this time might be different."
I found my answer in AA. Havent had a drink or the desire to drink in 4 years now. Maybe you can find help there too? Have you ever thought about that?

doggonecarl

Does no good to be convinced after you drink unless you can carry it forward to the next time you get the urge. That's when you'll need to convince yourself that alcohol does nothing for you.

But that is where the alcoholic's memory starts to falter. This is where a recovery plan comes into play. To have a course of action when the urge to drink strikes.

freshstart57

Accept that you will not drink again because that is really what you want, isn't it? The urge is nothing more than that, it has no power over you, can't control your body. Accept that you will have urges from time to time, but so what? They don't hurt. It's the giving in to the urge that hurts.