Bragging in AA... Feeling burned out
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
That's OK mizz, I probably should have sat on my typing fingers... And, I am no more or less entitled to post anything than anyone else here...
I just find that whole "real" alcoholic thing devisive, and BTW, we agree on that point.
I just find that whole "real" alcoholic thing devisive, and BTW, we agree on that point.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 1,572
One thing that I realized the hard way, is that if you are in a meeting that is making you uncomfortable, get up, and WALK OUT.
Your sobriety is the most important thing, and if its seriously affecting your serenity, it is not good for you to sit through.
I have seen people walk out on F'd up meetings before, and I felt that it would be rude to do, but in retrospect, not every meeting is going to go well, or resonate with you.
Walk away, find a better meeting. With all due respect, its not a religious experience, and some people are not going to help you.
I wish I had done this, because I have sat through meetings that actually made me WANT to drink afterwards. Should have left and spoken to someone about my feelings.
Your sobriety is the most important thing, and if its seriously affecting your serenity, it is not good for you to sit through.
I have seen people walk out on F'd up meetings before, and I felt that it would be rude to do, but in retrospect, not every meeting is going to go well, or resonate with you.
Walk away, find a better meeting. With all due respect, its not a religious experience, and some people are not going to help you.
I wish I had done this, because I have sat through meetings that actually made me WANT to drink afterwards. Should have left and spoken to someone about my feelings.
Gratefully Sober
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: va
Posts: 56
Originally Posted by Justfor1 
My definition of a "real alcoholic" is not what most people hear agree with. But it's someone who gets DUI's, can't hold a job or relationship, drinks out of a paper bag, begs for change, uses drugs, ect....
What if I told you that I have never gotten aDUI,never lost a job ro relationship due to my drinking,dont brown bag it,never had to panhandle,was never into drugs? would you say Im not a real alcoholic?Because I am..Many years ago before I landed in rehab and AA for the first time I thought the same way... Oh Im not that bad... the fact of the matter I was drinking myself to death all alone in my house every night unable to stop.. despite knowing I am an alcoholic I have been back out time and time again.. never has it gotten better....loss of control once i put it in my body... obsessing over booze...drinking to escape form life..... countless mornings of remorse and disgust and fear .. vowing to stop once and for all.. unable to do so ...
those things you list? those are "yets" for me.. they could still happen if I continue.. might wanna rethink your definition of what an alcoholic is.. just saying
I looked like that holdin beer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 627
Guys, this is the OP's 3rd post and I think 2nd meeting; Chillax a little. I don't think a little understanding is going to crush their recovery. I think we take ourselves too seriously at times *winks*
Hang in there, Sinker (if you are still even reading this thread)
Thank you for the post, and I hope you find some great meetings. It can be hard, but it is good that you realize what doesn't work for you, so you can move on to what works better for you
I hope you keep posting in SR, we really are a great bunch
Take Care,
MC
Hang in there, Sinker (if you are still even reading this thread)
Thank you for the post, and I hope you find some great meetings. It can be hard, but it is good that you realize what doesn't work for you, so you can move on to what works better for you
I hope you keep posting in SR, we really are a great bunch
Take Care,
MC
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: De
Posts: 1,333
Judging AA and it's members based on 2 meetings is not really fair to AA or yourself. I bet you found the same type of people in the bars where you drank and I bet that didn't stop you from going back. We are all just a bunch of drunks not drinking and trying to get better. Some are more along the path than others. I suggest if you stop drinking, get to different types of meetings, get a sponsor, and work the 12 steps, you'll find out what AA really is.
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
Hard to really say whether or not the man was bragging or sharing from the heart, his experience. I wasn't there, can't really judge. I think early on in recovery my perception was way off. I thought I knew, but now know otherwise. If the guy was rich and very privileged, that is all he knows. Stating things the way they were, is that bragging or telling it like it is?
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by sinker123
Ok I just went to two meetings and I am so irritated. The speaker was this guy who spent the whole time telling this story you could tell he thought was so cool. Recovering crack and alcohol user ... His whole story was about this flashy lifestyle he was born into. How he was born on central park west with all these celebrities in his building, how his mother is a judge and his dad a super rich attorney and how he used their connections to skip years of law school ( doubtful) and how he got out of all this trouble by of mommy... How he lived the glory days at studio 54 and then lived in mansions and on and on it went. The problem is the guy you could tell had drafted this big story and thought it was so impressive...... The meetings was in a scentster area of NYC and the room was filed with grown men who dress like they are 20 and their whole aim in life is to be unique and trendy....pathetic... And the sad part is they all loved his story and everyone was so fake I wanted to puke....I just hate posers and I hate trendy wanna be's... I want humility and honesty and real strategies about kicking alcohol and drugs not feeble attempts to seem like a legend... Get your head out of the movies or whatever mindset you are in where qualifications are opportunities to really wow people....am I the only one who feels this way?
I have come upon a few meetings like this where I had reason to believe the person speaking was lying. But in the end I just decided that I myself and honest and and my higher power knows that so that's all that matters. Let those other folks worry about themselves. Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Bellingham
Posts: 513
5 months. I'm there too, in NYC. I had the most vivid drinking dream last night. Man. And in my dream, I resolved not to tell my sponsor.
I think I want out of my situation in general, the unemployment, the loneliness. Something natural in me revolts from this arid experience. And here comes the anger and the envy like insurance salesmen unlatching their brief cases on my desk. I want the fruits, see? Because I'm a human being and this is not an easy experience for a human being. But I think the only way is straight through. The only weapon is this spiritual technology. Let's keep going straight through and see what happens.
I think I want out of my situation in general, the unemployment, the loneliness. Something natural in me revolts from this arid experience. And here comes the anger and the envy like insurance salesmen unlatching their brief cases on my desk. I want the fruits, see? Because I'm a human being and this is not an easy experience for a human being. But I think the only way is straight through. The only weapon is this spiritual technology. Let's keep going straight through and see what happens.
I looked like that holdin beer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 627
Originally Posted by sinker123
This is not my second meeting... Been going for 5 months
In that case I am going to figure that your post was to bitch about a meeting you didn't like, which seems to rile AA people in SR. Just sayin'....
Sorry Daytrader
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,212
I recall making a transition from discussion meetings to step or big book meetings at around my five-month mark. It provided for more focused discussions geared toward the solution. Helped me immensely.
I looked like that holdin beer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 627
I dived right into the step meetings after a few weeks. I figured that the steps were what AA was all about- with the help of people in SR
When I was new(still new) I thought that the steps would take year/s, but the founders didn't take years they took like a month. I think it is best to work the steps right away and then keep them ongoing. If that makes sense.
When I was new(still new) I thought that the steps would take year/s, but the founders didn't take years they took like a month. I think it is best to work the steps right away and then keep them ongoing. If that makes sense.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Posts: 567
There are 2 things I look at if I'm not sure on ID with most speakers, and that is there's AA the book and from the book is AA the fellowship.
AA the book is "basic text",unchanged since 1939 from chapters Doctors Opinion to A Vision for you as far as the program for recovery from alcoholism is concerned.
READ THE BOOK and do the requirments,it may solve your problem with others.
As far as what a "real alcoholic" is, you'll find the answers in Doctors Opinion
and pages 20-21
I am a real alcoholic, I don't have the "operative" bit, it's just not there and from what I have gathered in the meetings of AA, it does not discriminate.
This is the message I look for in a speaker and hope the newcomer gets to hear it.
(BB 1st edition)
AA the book is "basic text",unchanged since 1939 from chapters Doctors Opinion to A Vision for you as far as the program for recovery from alcoholism is concerned.
READ THE BOOK and do the requirments,it may solve your problem with others.
As far as what a "real alcoholic" is, you'll find the answers in Doctors Opinion
We believe, and so suggested a few years ago, that the action of alcohol on these chronic alcoholics is a manifestation of an allergy; that the phenomenon of craving is limited to this class and never occurs in the average temperate drinker. These allergic types can never safely use alcohol in any form at all;
Moderate drinkers have little trouble in giving up liquor entirely if they have good reason for it. They can take it or leave it alone.
Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few years before his time. If a sufficiently strong reason - ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning of a doctor - becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention.
But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink
Then we have a certain type of hard drinker. He may have the habit badly enough to gradually impair him physically and mentally. It may cause him to die a few years before his time. If a sufficiently strong reason - ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or the warning of a doctor - becomes operative, this man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention.
But what about the real alcoholic? He may start off as a moderate drinker; he may or may not become a continuous hard drinker; but at some stage of his drinking career he begins to lose all control of his liquor consumption, once he starts to drink
This is the message I look for in a speaker and hope the newcomer gets to hear it.
(BB 1st edition)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: California
Posts: 39
Hey Sinker - Why don't you just find a different meeting? If the hipster meetings are not working for you find ones that do. NYC has LOADS of meetings.
Also: listen for the similarities. Not the differences. And remember that there are newcomers in the room. Get out of your own head and help a newcomer.
Also: listen for the similarities. Not the differences. And remember that there are newcomers in the room. Get out of your own head and help a newcomer.
Peace, Love, Sobriety
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Wilmington, DE
Posts: 1,549
Originally Posted by mfanch
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today."
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 10
I wish I could ignore it... I know it's not what my higher power wants me thinking but I still have much to work on.... I would love to be the kind of person who could let it roll off my back... Someday hopefully
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