Whats Up Im matt
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Unionville, PA
Posts: 141
Whats Up Im matt
Whats up everyone
So without cheating I am one month sober, and I hate It.
I should be more than that but I gave in a couple times.
Drinking urges have been less but my depression has been more, Why is that? i HATE feeling sad, its better than boosing but it sucks, when will I snap out of thissssssss... I keep thinking about my ex gf who is a saint
thanks guys
m
So without cheating I am one month sober, and I hate It.
I should be more than that but I gave in a couple times.
Drinking urges have been less but my depression has been more, Why is that? i HATE feeling sad, its better than boosing but it sucks, when will I snap out of thissssssss... I keep thinking about my ex gf who is a saint
thanks guys
m
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 222
Not sure, Im far from a mental health expert (in reality there is no such thing anyway).
The ex...well give it time. I had a GREAT girl that I found out, while I was in the middle of a deployment, had moved on. It was rough, but I got over it just as you can. We cant depend on others for true happiness anyway.
I miss my cats also. All we have is the future now.
I cant really over you much useful advice though Im afraid.
The ex...well give it time. I had a GREAT girl that I found out, while I was in the middle of a deployment, had moved on. It was rough, but I got over it just as you can. We cant depend on others for true happiness anyway.
I miss my cats also. All we have is the future now.
I cant really over you much useful advice though Im afraid.
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Congrats on your 30 days!
I tried watching funny movies to lift my spirits. It helped to laugh. There is scientific research to support the idea of laughter helping.
So try some goofy comedies, some popcorn and a bottle of water. (keeping a bottle of water with me at all times also helped)
I tried watching funny movies to lift my spirits. It helped to laugh. There is scientific research to support the idea of laughter helping.
So try some goofy comedies, some popcorn and a bottle of water. (keeping a bottle of water with me at all times also helped)
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
way to go on 30 days man 
I know when I stopped drinking a lot of new problems emerged that my drinking had been masking.
do you think it might be good to get some help?
Have you thought about seeing a Dr FF? you could at least see if there's a medical reason for your depression?
Finding more support might help too?
D
I know when I stopped drinking a lot of new problems emerged that my drinking had been masking.
do you think it might be good to get some help?
Have you thought about seeing a Dr FF? you could at least see if there's a medical reason for your depression?
Finding more support might help too?
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: California
Posts: 39
When we stop drinking the issues we were medicating with copious amounts of alcohol surface. But we also are messy when we stop drinking - our bodies are trying to heal. I stayed in bed for my first two months sober. I don't recommend that. What helped were AA meetings and tons of Netflix. I also found that talking to sober people REALLY helped. But I did feel better in a short amount of time. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Congrats on 30 days! That is NO small feat! Keep up the good work!
Congrats on 30 days! That is NO small feat! Keep up the good work!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: South Boston
Posts: 547
Hey Matt,
I know what you mean. I like having someone too. But the truth is we are not capable of giving someone what they need in a relationship.
You can push past the depression. It is a side effect of drinking for so long.
Have you thought about seeing a therapist? I think it might help you.
It may take some time but eventually you will feel better, you will push passed this depression.
You should be very proud of yourself for staying sober as long as you have. Your life is so much better without drinking. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it.
I know what you mean. I like having someone too. But the truth is we are not capable of giving someone what they need in a relationship.
You can push past the depression. It is a side effect of drinking for so long.
Have you thought about seeing a therapist? I think it might help you.
It may take some time but eventually you will feel better, you will push passed this depression.
You should be very proud of yourself for staying sober as long as you have. Your life is so much better without drinking. Even if it doesn’t always feel like it.
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Hi Matt,
I DO have diagnosed bipolar, and have been dealing with dibilitating depression on and off for decades. I am a recovering addict/binge drinker. I got clean and I wanted everything to be better. I wanted my pink cloud.
What I realized in early sobriety was that my deep core issue, the thing that I tried to hide with pills and booze was my lack of hope. That is one of the ways depression manifests for me. Numbness, and a terrifying lack of hope.
I had no idea how to get hope. I learned I can borrow it. For me, that meant spending time with people who'd done what I wanted to do. Get sober and live life well. I found hope by reading books and literature, by going to 12 step meetings, and by spending lots and lots of time here.
Knowing that my situation is not hopeless helped me (and continues to help me) get through the hairy times. And I have found out hope grows. If I keep feeding it, the seed of hope that was given me by someone who has gone ahead of me in recovery, grows and grows.
Baby steps.
I have been using affirmations, but I learned that waking up one day, looking at my haggard face in the mirror and my disheveled hair and saying "you're a beautiful human being" didn't cut it. I mean, I didn't believe that.
So...baby steps.
I start with planting hope.
"Does anyone recover?"
well, yes, I know people recover
"Does anyone feel like crap when they get sober? then go on and things get better?"
Hmmm..reading here and going to meetings, I find out yes, that is true as well
"Can anyone as messed up as ME recover and have a good life?"
more reading, more talking, more hanging here. Yup, people do that. LOTS of people here have done and are doing that.
One day I find up I can wake up and say "It's possible for me to recover." yeah, I can go that far.
that grows into "I feel great when I think about a life free of addiction."
"Lots of things can happen when I live sober and work recovery."
Today I can wake up, look at myself and say "I am glad I am not drinking."
I can say that even on my toughest day.
I never thought I'd get to this place.
Doing a daily gratitude "inventory" is extremely important for me. Some days I write it out. It's really affirming to see how long my list is. Other times I do it mentally as I lay in bed before I fall asleep.
here are a few things I'm grateful for...
A bed to sleep in while I go through a really unsettling time in my life.
my computer
good books
cocoa
the laundromat
my fave pair of Converse
that 50% off sale I went to yesterday
I have some good things going on..
I don't have a job, I'm living in a camping trailer, I just moved 2000 miles from my friends, My boyfriend just stopped talking to me and I found out he's drinking again, the engine light in my car is on.
but that's only part of what is true for me, I'm going to get more of what I focus on.
Heck just writing the list of "ugh" stuff got me feeling pretty "ugh"...just like making a list of great stuff got me feeling pretty great.
hope grows. Today I am going to cultivate hope.
I DO have diagnosed bipolar, and have been dealing with dibilitating depression on and off for decades. I am a recovering addict/binge drinker. I got clean and I wanted everything to be better. I wanted my pink cloud.
What I realized in early sobriety was that my deep core issue, the thing that I tried to hide with pills and booze was my lack of hope. That is one of the ways depression manifests for me. Numbness, and a terrifying lack of hope.
I had no idea how to get hope. I learned I can borrow it. For me, that meant spending time with people who'd done what I wanted to do. Get sober and live life well. I found hope by reading books and literature, by going to 12 step meetings, and by spending lots and lots of time here.
Knowing that my situation is not hopeless helped me (and continues to help me) get through the hairy times. And I have found out hope grows. If I keep feeding it, the seed of hope that was given me by someone who has gone ahead of me in recovery, grows and grows.
Baby steps.
I have been using affirmations, but I learned that waking up one day, looking at my haggard face in the mirror and my disheveled hair and saying "you're a beautiful human being" didn't cut it. I mean, I didn't believe that.
So...baby steps.
I start with planting hope.
"Does anyone recover?"
well, yes, I know people recover
"Does anyone feel like crap when they get sober? then go on and things get better?"
Hmmm..reading here and going to meetings, I find out yes, that is true as well
"Can anyone as messed up as ME recover and have a good life?"
more reading, more talking, more hanging here. Yup, people do that. LOTS of people here have done and are doing that.
One day I find up I can wake up and say "It's possible for me to recover." yeah, I can go that far.
that grows into "I feel great when I think about a life free of addiction."
"Lots of things can happen when I live sober and work recovery."
Today I can wake up, look at myself and say "I am glad I am not drinking."
I can say that even on my toughest day.
I never thought I'd get to this place.
Doing a daily gratitude "inventory" is extremely important for me. Some days I write it out. It's really affirming to see how long my list is. Other times I do it mentally as I lay in bed before I fall asleep.
here are a few things I'm grateful for...
A bed to sleep in while I go through a really unsettling time in my life.
my computer
good books
cocoa
the laundromat
my fave pair of Converse
that 50% off sale I went to yesterday
I have some good things going on..
I don't have a job, I'm living in a camping trailer, I just moved 2000 miles from my friends, My boyfriend just stopped talking to me and I found out he's drinking again, the engine light in my car is on.
but that's only part of what is true for me, I'm going to get more of what I focus on.
Heck just writing the list of "ugh" stuff got me feeling pretty "ugh"...just like making a list of great stuff got me feeling pretty great.
hope grows. Today I am going to cultivate hope.
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