LifeBlows

I was off yesterday and I just forgot to do laundry. During the summer what my mother likes to do to save money is to hang the clothes outside to dry. I've been doing that but since I forgot to do laundry yesterday and need a clean uniform for work in about an hour and a half I threw everything in the drier. I thought it would be okay because its the weekend and the rates are lower but she's still upset. I'm trying to see it from her point of view. She pays the bills and she's trying to cut down where she can I get that. I just feel upset that she's upset. I want to drink to hide. I feel resentful because it seems like my mum always has to say something. I've been putting my laundry out every other time. I just forgot this time. I know that I cannot change her I have to change my reaction. But it still really bother's me. Am I being unreasonable?

candi7

(I speak the way it is for me as well-living with a man-like your mother) It's her house, her rules. All you can do is apologize and do the right thing next time... I know exactly how you feel, but that doesn't get the right thing done. I've had to learn self discipline, have to train myself in things I should do (at 42) because of my drinking-i'm messed up alot. So don't take it personal-it's just the way your mother is. When you have your own home, then you can make the rules... I think whether I live with him or not, I will try my best to do good things for myself for self discipline sake... I'm a mess otherwise.. *hugs* from someone who understands! Try to have a better day and not let her get to you...

2granddaughters

I always feel that way too when I'm called out. You were wrong so yes, you are at fault.
Just say "Sorry, Mom", give her a hug and carry on. Your feelings will pass and if you don't drink or mouth off to Mother you will have a better day tomorrow.

All the best.

Bob R


Looking at your LifeBlows username reminded me of this important adage ...

“Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

Life doesn't blow, just our outlook and acceptance of it does. No disrespect intended.

laurie6781

I suspect what you are really upset at is yourself. lol You goofed, mom, yelled, and now you are 'kicking' yourself.

Well, just as alcoholism is progressive, so is our recovery. We are not perfect (thank goodness, I would be so boring if I was, lol).

So, maybe instead of being upset at yourself and mom of course, cause she yelled, look at ways that this won't happen again, maybe a daily "to do" list? especially for those days off?

Now, it is over, it is done, Mom yelled, and today is a NEW DAY. So, look forward to what things new and different you will learn today. Slap a smile on your face, go to work, the smile always gets a better reaction from others than a frown, and see what today brings.

Congrats on your realizing that you thought of drinking but didn't have to act on the thought!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love and hugs,

Tute

Hi LifeBlows

For many years I justified my boozing by blaming those who had been in charge of my growing up. After everything's said and done, it's always a matter of deciding who do you want to become, meaning what sort of life you really want for yourself. Laurie's got a point, about keeping good track of your chores, but also think that everything changes, and one day all this you're going thru will only be a memory. Why not starting by practicing being happy NOW?

CarolD

Tute..

Welcome to our Alcoholism Forum

CarolD

LB....
now that you are working...have you considered helping your
Mom out with the bills?

When my adult children lived with me and had jobs...we did agree
on financial assistance even if it was only a bit.

LifeBlows

I do help out with the bills.

Paulos

1 time is just 1 time, or even a few times those are just mistakes, like going back to the drink as I would know- and plus I have a very dominate mother so I know how it is as I live at home at 26 >_>;

Tute

Thanks Carol

LifeBlows

I'm not blaming her Tute I just feel very triggered by what happened. And to explain further, my mother is constantly nit picking. Its not just once a day it might be five or six times a day that she is unhappy or disapproving of something that I've done. I was talking about how I felt. That was my old way of reacting. Of course I know that the person who gets hurt the most is myself. But right now I don't have anywhere else to go and the constant criticism is bringing back not so nice memories of my childhood. It makes me feel like I can never get it right. It hurts, its frustrating, its wearying and frankly there are days when it feels like death by a thousand cuts okay?

LifeBlows

I'm not blaming her Tute I just feel very triggered by what happened. And to explain further, my mother is constantly nit picking. Its not just once a day it might be five or six times a day that she is unhappy or disapproving of something that I've done. I was talking about how I felt. That was my old way of reacting. Of course I know that the person who gets hurt the most is myself. But right now I don't have anywhere else to go and the constant criticism is bringing back not so nice memories of my childhood. It makes me feel like I can never get it right. It hurts, its frustrating, its wearying and frankly there are days when it feels like death by a thousand cuts okay?