Sally1009

Hi everyone.
Well, I'm 19 days sober today, been going to meetings, speaking to my sponsor everyday. But it's been a daily, sometimes hourly struggle.
I have been having violent storms of depression and anxiety. I have been in bed all day, as I didnt feel safe anywhere else.
I'm still waiting to go to rehab, and I'm scared of that too. I'm just praying I can get through until midnight, when it won't be possible to buy any alcohol.

JWS

Hang in there. Days 14-28 and among the toughest in my many experiences. Heck, this board looks happening. Just hang around here and watch the time fly by.

cheese1

Really hope you stay sober. I nearly drank yesterday but managed to stop.

Zee

Hang around on SR Sally Lots of sober people here. Why not go in the chat room. x

candi7

19 days is a long time to drop off now.. You should be on the phone ASAP with your sponsor and sharing this with her, I'm sure she would drop what she's doing to deal with you! If she doesn't answer... call another member! You need to fight this hard... Do you have any CANDY? Believe it or not, this can help tremendously in the beginning and as needed... keep hard candies in your pocket...Also, I drink cranberry juice to help with my sugar lows as well... If the depression/anxiety continues you need to visit a mental health doctor! I had to a little over 1 month ago and do not regret it, my anxiety was hard to deal with along with sobriety and that's what I sense in you.. Don't stay in bed, get outside and walk in the sun if you can... Also, meditation will help you as well...like this found on youtube... maybe you find one that suits you..

Try Self-hypnosis meditation for ending Anxiety, panic, anger and depression - YouTube

CALL YOUR SPONSOR.... DON'T FORGET...

Dee74

I'm sorry things are rough...I'm glad you have a support network now tho - I really encourage you to use it
\
are you seeing anyone about the depression and anxiety Sally?

D

NYCDoglvr

My heart goes out to you. When we put down alcohol there's still withdrawal but that does change. I described early sobriety as PMS in a full moon! It's only today we must not drink. I'm still saying that after 20+ years.

Sally1009

Thank you everyone. My sponsor calls every day for precisely one hour. She doesnt like it if I call her outside that time. I feel shy to call others at this time of night, though if I feel worse I will call the helpline. Maybe I'll try the chat room in a bit.
Feel better for your replies. God this is a beast of an illness, isn't it?

DarkDays

Grind it out Sally, you can do it.

hypochondriac

Stay strong Sally. Anything worth having is never easy. It will get better x

Sally1009

Dee, in the UK it takes WEEKS to see counsellors, alas. I'm on a waiting list, but it won't happen before I go to rehab, and there are no counsellors there. It's 12 step based, and you get taken to AA meetings five nights a week.
My doctor recently switched my medication for anxiety and depression to fit in with the rehab requirements, so I think that is part of the problem.

sugarbear1

Call your network of AA friends. What step are you working on?

JWS

All of a sudden, I am feeling the same way. Fortunately, I am at work. I am feeling blah and could leave early, but that's a bad idea.

Zee

I'm on a waiting list too Sally, mine is for Cognative Behavural Therapy for my anxiety. They said it could be weeks, maybe months Its funny, I was on a waiting list for a tooth extraction check up (something I need, but don't want) this appointment came through in hours! Can't complain though... its all free Glad you made it through the night! x

SSIL75

19 days on bed would drive anyone 'round the bend, sally. Hard to stay sober like that. Enjoyment is crucial, IME. I was miserable sober every time but the last. In retrospect I rigged it that way to excuse my return to the bottle.

Try and get out and do something, ok? Even a cup of coffee with your sponsor.

Something that helped me in those early days was little reminders that there was nothing wrong, unusual or unexpected about an alcoholic wanting a drink. Even really really wanting one. Let the craving wash over you. It'll pass. I haven't had a serious craving in forever.

eilatan524

Praying that you get through. Hang in there. Read a book, watch a movie, or just chat on SR

CarolD

eilatan524...

Welcome to our Alcoholism Forurm

alienbrayn1

Hope everything works out for you, 19 days is a long time under your belt.. Keep on keeping on, it will get easier.. I promise!