I'm a happy drunk.
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
ok, you dont want it to happen. then dont drink so much. or, tell us what you want to hear.
yes, i once felt my questions raised controversy. it was when i wanted to hear the answer i wanted to hear and not the answer i needed to hear.
yes, i once felt my questions raised controversy. it was when i wanted to hear the answer i wanted to hear and not the answer i needed to hear.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Reading. Berks. England
Posts: 134
Although I knew deep down that I was drinking abnormally, I had lots of fun with alcohol for years. . . . Then in late 1988 I stepped over 'the line' and the spiral into madness truly began. I can't remember much fun after Christmas 88 
Member
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Albany NY
Posts: 1,212
Hi babycat...
Unfortunately I wasn't one who changed because I saw the light; I changed because I felt the heat.
I think the excerpts from "Under the Influence" Carol posted is worth reading.
Motivation is such a personal thing and I guess it stems from what we want and what we believe.
On an intellectual level, I knew what I was doing would not have a good outcome, especially since I grew up in a family chock full of alcoholics, but I always tought my story would be different. I was wrong, clearly. In a strange sort of way, I actually crashed and burned a bit harder than most of the elders in my family because I don't think I recognized the destructive course I was on until I surpassed them in my misery.
I don't know if that makes sense.
I don't think anyone can provide you with motivation. The work is yours.
Maybe you can keep a journal where you can record what happened immediately before you decided to drink (feeling bored, wanted night out), how many drinks you have in how long a timeframe, at what point did you start to forget, how many times you drank in the week. Try to stop for a period of time and observe what happens to you and if you can even stop, etc. Watch for progression (increasing frequency or the quantity consumed).
Watch for increasing frequency in blacking out, and keep reading the section about how the liver processes alcohol. Be cognizant of what's going on in your body and in your mind.
My hope is you recognize a problem before it becomes another sad tale of destruction.
Knowing what I know and seeing what I've seen, my heart screams to tell you to knock it off today. But I also remember no one could tell me either - and that is why the work is yours to do.
All my best...
Unfortunately I wasn't one who changed because I saw the light; I changed because I felt the heat.
I think the excerpts from "Under the Influence" Carol posted is worth reading.
Motivation is such a personal thing and I guess it stems from what we want and what we believe.
On an intellectual level, I knew what I was doing would not have a good outcome, especially since I grew up in a family chock full of alcoholics, but I always tought my story would be different. I was wrong, clearly. In a strange sort of way, I actually crashed and burned a bit harder than most of the elders in my family because I don't think I recognized the destructive course I was on until I surpassed them in my misery.
I don't know if that makes sense.
I don't think anyone can provide you with motivation. The work is yours.
Maybe you can keep a journal where you can record what happened immediately before you decided to drink (feeling bored, wanted night out), how many drinks you have in how long a timeframe, at what point did you start to forget, how many times you drank in the week. Try to stop for a period of time and observe what happens to you and if you can even stop, etc. Watch for progression (increasing frequency or the quantity consumed).
Watch for increasing frequency in blacking out, and keep reading the section about how the liver processes alcohol. Be cognizant of what's going on in your body and in your mind.
My hope is you recognize a problem before it becomes another sad tale of destruction.
Knowing what I know and seeing what I've seen, my heart screams to tell you to knock it off today. But I also remember no one could tell me either - and that is why the work is yours to do.
All my best...
Grateful to be free
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Arizona
Posts: 3,680
Originally Posted by babycat 
Not exactly sure what that is supposed to mean. I don't like when I black out, but the fact is it happens and nothing bad seems to happen. But I don't WANT it to happen....
Why is my question so controversial? Did no one else feel this way?
I definitely feel as tho I am being grilled and giving much harsher advice than certain other repeat posters get.
But, truly, i do appreciate those that have talked to me. I really, really do. Thank you.
Why is my question so controversial? Did no one else feel this way?
I definitely feel as tho I am being grilled and giving much harsher advice than certain other repeat posters get.
But, truly, i do appreciate those that have talked to me. I really, really do. Thank you.
babycat, it looks like you've answered your own question. You know that you shouldn't be drinking this much, that it's not "normal" or healthy, and that blacking out isn't a good thing, or something that you want to continue doing.
That sounds to me like a very good motivation or reason to cut down or quit drinking. Because YOU are not comfortable with the result of your drinking.
If you can have a drink or two and stop before blackout, that's cool. If not, stopping entirely is probably necessary. That is what the majority of people here have found true in their own experience, and our own experience is all we have to share.
The consequences of my drinking were a problem for me. Seeing where I was headed...becoming a pathetic drunk and addict who had no respect for herself and no respect from others, was a problem for me. My solution, and one that has worked for me, was to stop drinking and abusing drugs.
That was MY motivation. I cannot possibly know what aspect of excessive drinking is problematic for you. But I'm glad you're here, sharing YOUR experience, questions and thoughts, because this forum thrives and helps us exactly because people do that.
Sometimes feeling MY reactions to the posts of others is my best indicator of where I am, and where my personal hot spots are.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
I'm 24. From what I can tell now, I was a problem drinker the moment I started drinking.
I was a happy drunk. I danced and laughed and had a great time. I was never sick. I got hangovers, but who didn't? I was doing the same thing all my friends were doing, and we were having fun.
Then something changed. I don't know exactly when it happened, but suddenly I wanted alcohol to be involved with every social occasion. I blacked out every time I drank. Every time I had one drink, I had to keep drinking. I couldn't stop - not at one, not at ten. I could only stop when I was too drunk to put any more alcohol inside me.
It all happened very quickly and I was totally out of control. Luckily I realised that I had a serious, serious problem and stopped, but nobody ever said to me 'you're an alcoholic. You should quit' - even my doctor told me that I should just try to control what I was drinking. My husband wanted me to cut down. My parents were worried that I drank too much but there was nobody or nothing telling me that I was an alcoholic and I had no other choice but to quit.
I could have carried on... waited until something REALLY bad happened, until I had serious health problems or my mental health got even worse (don't know if that would have even been possible) but I didn't - I knew in my heart that despite the fact I was 24, young, whatever, I had to quit or I was probably going to die directly or indirectly because of my alcohol consumption.
From what I've gathered, people only get sober when they truly want it. When, in their mind, there is no other option but to not drink. But we're lucky. We're young. Giving up alcohol when you're young may seem like a 'boring' thing to do but it isn't. We have the opportunity to live the majority of our lives sober. You can address this now or you can address it in 10, 15, 20, 40 years time... I'll bet that people here are only telling you all this stuff because it's probably an inevitability that you'll be getting sober at some point, and we're all wishing we hadn't have waited so long... wasted years trying to convince ourselves that alcohol wasn't a problem for us.
I was a happy drunk. I danced and laughed and had a great time. I was never sick. I got hangovers, but who didn't? I was doing the same thing all my friends were doing, and we were having fun.
Then something changed. I don't know exactly when it happened, but suddenly I wanted alcohol to be involved with every social occasion. I blacked out every time I drank. Every time I had one drink, I had to keep drinking. I couldn't stop - not at one, not at ten. I could only stop when I was too drunk to put any more alcohol inside me.
It all happened very quickly and I was totally out of control. Luckily I realised that I had a serious, serious problem and stopped, but nobody ever said to me 'you're an alcoholic. You should quit' - even my doctor told me that I should just try to control what I was drinking. My husband wanted me to cut down. My parents were worried that I drank too much but there was nobody or nothing telling me that I was an alcoholic and I had no other choice but to quit.
I could have carried on... waited until something REALLY bad happened, until I had serious health problems or my mental health got even worse (don't know if that would have even been possible) but I didn't - I knew in my heart that despite the fact I was 24, young, whatever, I had to quit or I was probably going to die directly or indirectly because of my alcohol consumption.
From what I've gathered, people only get sober when they truly want it. When, in their mind, there is no other option but to not drink. But we're lucky. We're young. Giving up alcohol when you're young may seem like a 'boring' thing to do but it isn't. We have the opportunity to live the majority of our lives sober. You can address this now or you can address it in 10, 15, 20, 40 years time... I'll bet that people here are only telling you all this stuff because it's probably an inevitability that you'll be getting sober at some point, and we're all wishing we hadn't have waited so long... wasted years trying to convince ourselves that alcohol wasn't a problem for us.
Sally1009
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: United Kingdom
Posts: 467
Babycat, I think people are concerned about you, as I am. It presses buttons for me in that if I'd only stopped where you are now I could have saved myself, family, and friends so much misery. AA might be worth a try. No one there will tell you you're an alcoholic. They will just be kind and welcoming, and you might get some clarification.
Well done for posting here..
Well done for posting here..
sobriety date 5-2-12
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 903
Originally Posted by babycat
Not exactly sure what that is supposed to mean. I don't like when I black out, but the fact is it happens and nothing bad seems to happen. But I don't WANT it to happen....
Why is my question so controversial? Did no one else feel this way?
I definitely feel as tho I am being grilled and giving much harsher advice than certain other repeat posters get.
But, truly, i do appreciate those that have talked to me. I really, really do. Thank you.
Why is my question so controversial? Did no one else feel this way?
I definitely feel as tho I am being grilled and giving much harsher advice than certain other repeat posters get.
But, truly, i do appreciate those that have talked to me. I really, really do. Thank you.
I read this thread yesterday and didn't post bc it would have been snarky. I re-read it today and see it in a different way.
From my point of view your mind is totally split on drinking. Half of you knows it's not good for you and that you need to quit. The other half says I'm ok, I'm safe with friends, I have a good time, no big deal. I TOTALLY get this!! You haven't had any negative consequences yet due to your drinking and therefor it is VERY hard to give something up that hasn't caused you enough pain yet.
My drinking had not caused me any obvious damage yet, but I stopped anyway- all the time wondering if I really had a problem- should I go back to drinking- what's the big deal anyway. I have been sober for 115 days and feel good.
I guess my point it that even if you can't find a single good reason to quit, you came on this site and posted for a reason- a tiny part of you knows you shouldn't drink like this. Listen to that tiny part and give sobriety a shot. See what happens. Best wishes...
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Hi again, BC.
For me, the problem with blackouts is the same as addiction, writ small. They are a loss of control, which in turn means a loss of freedom.
Nothing bad may happen, but the fact remains that in blackout mode, our judgment is relegated to the passenger seat. We no longer have control over where we're going or where we'll end up.
Now let's pull back, look at the big picture. You've been aware you have a problem since at least May of last year, when you first came here. Yet here you are. Nothing's changed. You'd like to drink like others, have a few, catch a buzz, but not take it to the extreme. Yet you continue to do just that, over and over again. So how much control over your life? How much freedom do you have?
As already stated, the thing about drinking problems is that, left unchecked, they get worse. This loss of control eventually extends to jobs, relationships, everything. Do you want to travel down this road for 5, 10 or 20 years, simply crossing your fingers that alcohol does not damage everything?
Even if you somehow don't end up worse off, and everything stays exactly the same as it is now, do you think your friends will still think these drunken antics are cute when you're 35? 45? 55?
Forget the whole question of drinking for a moment. Think bigger. Where do you want to go in life? What kind of person do you want to be?
Now ask yourself: how does being a "happy drunk" square with your dreams?
For me, the problem with blackouts is the same as addiction, writ small. They are a loss of control, which in turn means a loss of freedom.
Nothing bad may happen, but the fact remains that in blackout mode, our judgment is relegated to the passenger seat. We no longer have control over where we're going or where we'll end up.
Now let's pull back, look at the big picture. You've been aware you have a problem since at least May of last year, when you first came here. Yet here you are. Nothing's changed. You'd like to drink like others, have a few, catch a buzz, but not take it to the extreme. Yet you continue to do just that, over and over again. So how much control over your life? How much freedom do you have?
As already stated, the thing about drinking problems is that, left unchecked, they get worse. This loss of control eventually extends to jobs, relationships, everything. Do you want to travel down this road for 5, 10 or 20 years, simply crossing your fingers that alcohol does not damage everything?
Even if you somehow don't end up worse off, and everything stays exactly the same as it is now, do you think your friends will still think these drunken antics are cute when you're 35? 45? 55?
Forget the whole question of drinking for a moment. Think bigger. Where do you want to go in life? What kind of person do you want to be?
Now ask yourself: how does being a "happy drunk" square with your dreams?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 21
This is such an interesting thread! I have enjoyed that it is one of those threads that have made quite a few of us look inward and has provoked some really thoughtful answers and that is always a good thing.
Here's an analogy, if you were to ask a group of general people if jay-walking was an OK idea, you might get a lot of answers like this:
"Sure, if you are just careful, and you keep an eye out for speeding vehicles, go for it! What's the worse that can happen? A minor ticket??"
Because, people all over the world jay-walk. It's not a big deal, it's accepted behavior. Nobody expects to get hit by a bus running across the street.
If you asked that same question to a different group who had ALL been struck by a bus while jay-walking, and due to that choice they ALL now had a variety of long-lasing and life impacting injuries and issues... missing limbs, internal damages, messed up looks, messed up thinking processes, etc... maybe lost years of their lives due to it, and suffered so much pain for years and years until they recovered...
Is it surprising that their answer is "HELL NO DON'T RUN IN FRONT OF THE BUS! STOP NOW!"
What ELSE could you really expect them to answer? I am sure if you ask your group of drinking buddies what they think about your question, you will get a completely different answer. Because they think that you, like them, are capable of dodging the bus.
Are you? Who knows. As the group that got hit by the bus knows, not everyone makes it across the street. Some people trip, some people fall.
Wow, BabyCat, how lucky for you that so many folks have an opinion on the question you posted! Much better than when you post a question and nobody finds it important enough to respond to.
You will figure it out. Hang in there!
Here's an analogy, if you were to ask a group of general people if jay-walking was an OK idea, you might get a lot of answers like this:
"Sure, if you are just careful, and you keep an eye out for speeding vehicles, go for it! What's the worse that can happen? A minor ticket??"
Because, people all over the world jay-walk. It's not a big deal, it's accepted behavior. Nobody expects to get hit by a bus running across the street.
If you asked that same question to a different group who had ALL been struck by a bus while jay-walking, and due to that choice they ALL now had a variety of long-lasing and life impacting injuries and issues... missing limbs, internal damages, messed up looks, messed up thinking processes, etc... maybe lost years of their lives due to it, and suffered so much pain for years and years until they recovered...
Is it surprising that their answer is "HELL NO DON'T RUN IN FRONT OF THE BUS! STOP NOW!"
What ELSE could you really expect them to answer? I am sure if you ask your group of drinking buddies what they think about your question, you will get a completely different answer. Because they think that you, like them, are capable of dodging the bus.
Are you? Who knows. As the group that got hit by the bus knows, not everyone makes it across the street. Some people trip, some people fall.
Wow, BabyCat, how lucky for you that so many folks have an opinion on the question you posted! Much better than when you post a question and nobody finds it important enough to respond to.
You will figure it out. Hang in there!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Notheast US
Posts: 524
Babycat:
Last night I read all the posts you've made since becoming a member. Something has changed since July, because this thread is much different from all your previous posts.
I liked inahole's analogy with jaywalking. Hindsight is always 20/20 and it would seem that most of us here want to spare you of the negative consequences that will come with continued drinking.
"What's my motivation?". Only you can answer that, because it is your motivation, not our desires for you. I wish, wish, wish that more research was being done to help people with addictions so that this process of coming to terms abstinence was not so difficult or prolonged. There's a relatively new (2011) book Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain [David Eagleman] which explores the role of unconscious thought and does address addiction. Haven't read it, so I don't know if it would provide any insight for you or others.
I don't want to repeat others here except to recommend that you read parts of Beyond the Influence, Part 1, to understand how the body processes alcohol and what excessive amounts of alcohol can do to the body. In the early part of this year, you were concerned enough to see a doctor about your drinking and ended up with a doc who basically left you flat on your face. In that post, you did mention some withdrawal symptoms, different from what you posted yesterday.
Normal vital signs and routine blood work are not necessarily indicative of no alcohol related health problems. Here's a link to ALD which addresses the difficulty in diagnosis: Alcohol Alert #64
I've noticed that you keep saying that you are a happy person and a happy drunk. Would you consider having someone film/record you during a night of drinking? That could be a real eye opener for you, as it has been for some here who have seen recordings of themselves drunk.
Speaking for myself, I would be petrified if I continued to blackout on a regular basis. We're all unique and thus have different thresholds; for me a blackout is a clear signal that the alcohol consumption is both excessive and dangerous to both the drinker and others. I'm on the wimp side when it comes to booze; I would hurl way before I got even close to blacking out.
Do you ever want children? If so, do you think that you would be a fit parent drinking the way that you do?
My last suggestions to you would be to read Drinking: A Love Story by Carolyn Knapp and to watch Rain in My Heart Rain In My Heart (1 of 10) - YouTube
I hope that some bits and pieces of replies to your post resonate with you so that you can find your motivation. I'd sure love to spare you of any further negative effects of alcohol abuse and have you find out on your own how good the sober life can be.
Last night I read all the posts you've made since becoming a member. Something has changed since July, because this thread is much different from all your previous posts.
I liked inahole's analogy with jaywalking. Hindsight is always 20/20 and it would seem that most of us here want to spare you of the negative consequences that will come with continued drinking.
"What's my motivation?". Only you can answer that, because it is your motivation, not our desires for you. I wish, wish, wish that more research was being done to help people with addictions so that this process of coming to terms abstinence was not so difficult or prolonged. There's a relatively new (2011) book Incognito: The Secret Lives of the Brain [David Eagleman] which explores the role of unconscious thought and does address addiction. Haven't read it, so I don't know if it would provide any insight for you or others.
I don't want to repeat others here except to recommend that you read parts of Beyond the Influence, Part 1, to understand how the body processes alcohol and what excessive amounts of alcohol can do to the body. In the early part of this year, you were concerned enough to see a doctor about your drinking and ended up with a doc who basically left you flat on your face. In that post, you did mention some withdrawal symptoms, different from what you posted yesterday.
Normal vital signs and routine blood work are not necessarily indicative of no alcohol related health problems. Here's a link to ALD which addresses the difficulty in diagnosis: Alcohol Alert #64
I've noticed that you keep saying that you are a happy person and a happy drunk. Would you consider having someone film/record you during a night of drinking? That could be a real eye opener for you, as it has been for some here who have seen recordings of themselves drunk.
Speaking for myself, I would be petrified if I continued to blackout on a regular basis. We're all unique and thus have different thresholds; for me a blackout is a clear signal that the alcohol consumption is both excessive and dangerous to both the drinker and others. I'm on the wimp side when it comes to booze; I would hurl way before I got even close to blacking out.
Do you ever want children? If so, do you think that you would be a fit parent drinking the way that you do?
My last suggestions to you would be to read Drinking: A Love Story by Carolyn Knapp and to watch Rain in My Heart Rain In My Heart (1 of 10) - YouTube
I hope that some bits and pieces of replies to your post resonate with you so that you can find your motivation. I'd sure love to spare you of any further negative effects of alcohol abuse and have you find out on your own how good the sober life can be.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Bethlehem, PA.
Posts: 1,781
I think it's a great topic you brought up babycat, why do some of us progress to full blown alcoholism and others do not? Many of my friends drank just as hard as I did in their younger days but grew out of it. I don't know if there really is an answer to that question other than some of us are predisposed to alcoholism for a lot of reasons. In the whole scheme of things I doubt that it really matters, once we reach that stage we're probally always likely to pick up where we left off if we don't knock it off for good.
There's also the other group that somehow manages to drink their entire lives but maintains a relative degree of control over it. I know I'll never be part of that group, as my past experiences have proven that my "Off switch" doesn't function normally and I doubt it ever will. The fact that you've been posting for a while on the board indicates that you're concerned that you may have a problem and that's cool, the fact that you drink to the stage of blacking out would indicate, to me anyhow, that you do have a developing problem. Remember that it is a progressive thing and it can and often does get a lot worse.
There's also the other group that somehow manages to drink their entire lives but maintains a relative degree of control over it. I know I'll never be part of that group, as my past experiences have proven that my "Off switch" doesn't function normally and I doubt it ever will. The fact that you've been posting for a while on the board indicates that you're concerned that you may have a problem and that's cool, the fact that you drink to the stage of blacking out would indicate, to me anyhow, that you do have a developing problem. Remember that it is a progressive thing and it can and often does get a lot worse.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Vashon WA
Posts: 1,035
Hi Babycat,
Thank you for reminding me how much I hated black outs. What's the point of having fun if I can't remember it? I had black outs through out my entire 28 year drinking career. Whenever I have to fight off a bad craving I think of the feeling of remembering little bits and pieces of the previous night through the fog of a hangover. I guess I was pretty good at staying out of trouble when I was blacked out but I just can't believe how long I put up with that scary business.
Honestly that wasn't my motivation for quitting, though. I quit because I wanted to to be the best person that I could be. I have a lot of things that I want to get done and I'm not in my twenties anymore. Drinking was getting in my way. No more blackouts or hangovers are just a couple of the myriad physical improvements in my life since I quit. It's by far the best decision I've ever made but I don't know if I could have when I was younger.
Take care.
Thank you for reminding me how much I hated black outs. What's the point of having fun if I can't remember it? I had black outs through out my entire 28 year drinking career. Whenever I have to fight off a bad craving I think of the feeling of remembering little bits and pieces of the previous night through the fog of a hangover. I guess I was pretty good at staying out of trouble when I was blacked out but I just can't believe how long I put up with that scary business.
Honestly that wasn't my motivation for quitting, though. I quit because I wanted to to be the best person that I could be. I have a lot of things that I want to get done and I'm not in my twenties anymore. Drinking was getting in my way. No more blackouts or hangovers are just a couple of the myriad physical improvements in my life since I quit. It's by far the best decision I've ever made but I don't know if I could have when I was younger.
Take care.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: SoCal
Posts: 222
Im not really sure what to say as Im very similar to you and struggling with some of the same thought processes- even though I know, deep down, that I really do have problems with alcohol and many times have declared that I need to quit, and have been resorting to other compulsions (like exercising lately) to try to at least keep it at bay.
I know what you mean about the "happy drunk" thing though, as that generally describes me quite well (although these days, guilt and other negative feelings often eventually replaces the happiness). Drinking often gives me the sort of emotional "highs" Im seeking, and just "enhances" and makes things more interesting to me (and makes me the karaoke super-star), but...the lows that follow seem to get lower- the compulsion seems to continue to get worse as I insist to continue testing the waters. I remember last Sunday, innocently enough, I got a few beers to chase a hangover...then I ended up on an epic binge and I just could NOT seem to stop. I made it to work (you cant exactly just call in sick in my job, and you can technically get arrested for showing up late), but it was pretty miserable, and I remember the Sunday before that being awful as well..and now here is another Sunday of drinking, no clue how I will be feeling tomorrow. Also, my body seems to handle alcohol abuse quite well, but...it seems that I do have some pretty bad hypertension/blood pressure.
Its something I worry about quite a lot, and I dont want to have to take prescription drugs for it (side effects), I hoping to manage it in other ways...obviously not drinking would greatly help with that endeavor.
Ive had my share of crazy experiences, and whatnot, but nothing too awful has happened to me either...so that is a convenient (albeit, not so wise) excuse to continue. One of the more severe consequences of my drinking happened last night when I went with some friends to Tijuana and...I lost my phone and just recently realized I dont have my watch either. That isnt so severe right? Im a happy drunk (glad Im not a violent one, or I probably would have gotten myself in so much trouble by now), so that justifies the continuation right? We both know that is twisted thinking, but it seems we are struggling to find the sufficient motivation to give it up for good. Unfortunately, there is no simple answer for that. I wish there was, and that I could discover it.
I know what you mean about the "happy drunk" thing though, as that generally describes me quite well (although these days, guilt and other negative feelings often eventually replaces the happiness). Drinking often gives me the sort of emotional "highs" Im seeking, and just "enhances" and makes things more interesting to me (and makes me the karaoke super-star), but...the lows that follow seem to get lower- the compulsion seems to continue to get worse as I insist to continue testing the waters. I remember last Sunday, innocently enough, I got a few beers to chase a hangover...then I ended up on an epic binge and I just could NOT seem to stop. I made it to work (you cant exactly just call in sick in my job, and you can technically get arrested for showing up late), but it was pretty miserable, and I remember the Sunday before that being awful as well..and now here is another Sunday of drinking, no clue how I will be feeling tomorrow. Also, my body seems to handle alcohol abuse quite well, but...it seems that I do have some pretty bad hypertension/blood pressure.
Its something I worry about quite a lot, and I dont want to have to take prescription drugs for it (side effects), I hoping to manage it in other ways...obviously not drinking would greatly help with that endeavor.Ive had my share of crazy experiences, and whatnot, but nothing too awful has happened to me either...so that is a convenient (albeit, not so wise) excuse to continue. One of the more severe consequences of my drinking happened last night when I went with some friends to Tijuana and...I lost my phone and just recently realized I dont have my watch either. That isnt so severe right? Im a happy drunk (glad Im not a violent one, or I probably would have gotten myself in so much trouble by now), so that justifies the continuation right? We both know that is twisted thinking, but it seems we are struggling to find the sufficient motivation to give it up for good. Unfortunately, there is no simple answer for that. I wish there was, and that I could discover it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Orlando FL
Posts: 12
You should quit when you feel you've had enough, otherwise you will relapse because there is no drive of motivation to continue. I suggest keep drinking until you WANT to quit, you're only setting yourself up for a disaster if you do quit at this point.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 202
I use to think the same thing until my blackouts caused me to get beat down by my own friend, losing hours at my job. I thought I was happy too. I kept trying and trying when I got drunk, to be happy. I was miserable. But unlike you I was single at the time. Today Im a year sober and 2 weeks now and I've been dating a girl whose been truly amazing to me and today being our 9 month anniversary I feel just great I dont need to drink anymore to have fun. Its funny how you think about the way others drink... like I see on my facebook a girl who is a co worker complain how her week vacation is already up and that she wishes she was still starting her vacation a week ago that day where she was already nice and hammered up. I keep reading how she loves getting drunk, I never use to notice till Ive sobered up. But as everyone else has said.... do what you want... if your happy then your happy... looks we wont be hearing from you until your ready to admit defeat by alcohol. good luck
12-Step Recovered Alkie
Join Date: May 2010
Location: West Bloomfield, MI
Posts: 5,797
Originally Posted by babycat
Not exactly sure what that is supposed to mean. I don't like when I black out, but the fact is it happens and nothing bad seems to happen. But I don't WANT it to happen....
Why is my question so controversial? Did no one else feel this way?
Why is my question so controversial? Did no one else feel this way?
3 DUI's later and I still wasn't scared. Well, I was kinda scared I MIGHT get another......and prison didn't sound too cool......but even then I was still more sure than unsure that I could keep from getting another on my own. I'd keep drinking, in my plan, but just not drive. (for what it's worth, that was my plan prior to #2 and #3........but alkie that I am, I was convinced I'd pull it off THIS time!!)
What sold me on sobriety wasn't the whole "end the bad effects of drinking." Somewhere deep down I knew in my heart that even if I could quit drinking....life would still B.L.O.W.! --and looking back....I was right, for someone like me......putting the bottle down forces me to be present 24/7 for all the crap that makes me want to drink in the first place.
The reason I got sober: as I started to share what life FELT like......some of the issues from my past.......some of the beliefs I had about ppl and the world........ there was this big group of ppl who said they understood, had felt the same way, and when they quit drinking and worked on treating their alcoholISM (which is about 10% drinking - 90% other stuff) they all felt better. These folks seemed almost perpetually happy......and yanno, some of them had pretty crummy lives by my standards - not rich, so-so cars, ugly husbands/wives, past legal problems, messed up families, etc. Yet......somehow they'd walk around smiling......and seemed sincere in wanting to help OTHER people. I was just about positive it wouldn't work for me but, eventually, I just said F-it and gave it a shot.
I did the "don't drink and go to meetings" for a while but that sucked so I switched to "drink.......and go to meetings." Yanno, that sucked worse. LOL Back to not drinking and going to meetings but added in some therapy. That was kinda cool for a while but then started to be the worst of them all. One more F-it and I finally tried "not drinking and recovery." Eureka! That's the ticket! I wouldn't have believed it (and, I certainly didn't used to believe it) had I not actually experienced it.
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Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Toronto ON
Posts: 1,180
Great thread everyone...sometimes you have to go through the mud to get to the really good stuff!
For many years I drank knowing that I had a problem. I never ever said it out loud though. I certainly never went to a web site and typed it out for all the world to see.
You're braver than I was Babycat. And, you're on the right path.
For many years I drank knowing that I had a problem. I never ever said it out loud though. I certainly never went to a web site and typed it out for all the world to see.
You're braver than I was Babycat. And, you're on the right path.
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: UK
Posts: 4,682
Originally Posted by babycat
I am having a difficult time understanding why i should quit. I am HONESTLY, a happy person. I have a great relationship going on almost a decade, a good job, good friends and family.
the ONLY thing I was worried about was my health. But amazingly all my vitals were normal when I was admitted to the hospital last month.
I get black out drunk a lot, feel fine for the next day.
Where is my motivation???
the ONLY thing I was worried about was my health. But amazingly all my vitals were normal when I was admitted to the hospital last month.
I get black out drunk a lot, feel fine for the next day.
Where is my motivation???
Blackouts seemed a pretty normal event to me and others i would drink with, in fact it was considered the sign of a good night out sometimes! They never scared me and i didn't worry about them for a long time, till nearer the end of my drinking.
Two things stopped me doing anything about my drinking in my late twenties, the feeling of what the hell would i do in place of going out drinking anyway and that i had no serious repercussions from my drinking anyway (the latter turned out to be BS, i was in denial big time).
Other than just commenting i don't know what to say?! I guess IMO if you are asking the question, have been to AA and are on a recovery forum then you know you have a problem and it isn't sitting 100% well with you...however i went to all sort of recovery places over the years so i knew i had a problem, and would actually describe myself as an alcoholic sometimes but wasn't prepared to stop drinking...
Whatever you decide, good luck:-)
PS You are right , you have been given a harder time than most off the regular posters here because you represent a threat to some people's sobriety/serenity, as much as walking the alcohol section of the local supermarket does...so don't worry bout it keep posting!!!
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 328
I get what you're saying babycat, I've never had serious problems due to my drinking either. As a matter of fact, I've even had fewer blackouts than most on this site.
Professionally, I'm exactly where I want to be. Socially, I was more popular as a binge drinker than I used to be as a light drinker. Romantically... well I'm terrible with girls whether I'm drunk or not, so...
There are obvious advantages to the fact that you haven't hit your bottom, but I know how hard motivation is to come by. I also know that, for me anyway, the warnings of doom and gloom from people who were more hardcore ring a little false since they aren't confirmed by personal experience.
I can only state what was true for me. I became worried about my drinking habits because I was not happy with the way I behave while drunk. This, coupled with a vague hope that it would help me get back in shape, was all the motivation I had to go on for quite awhile.
BUT, I have found some additional motivation along the way. My mood, appearance and physical condition have improved noticeably, and this slowly helped me gather more momentum.
Seems to me you don't like blacking out. I don't blame you. There is nothing more vulnerable than a (judging by your pic, smallish) young woman who's had so much to drink she won't even remember what happened to her. I understand nothing bad has happened to you, but a blackout leaves you so exposed that a single bad incident could lead to an ugly bottom.
Maybe this could be your starting motivation? Just tell yourself that you never want to black out again, because it doesn'y seem to me that you do, and work from there.
Good luck staying away from the catnip.
Professionally, I'm exactly where I want to be. Socially, I was more popular as a binge drinker than I used to be as a light drinker. Romantically... well I'm terrible with girls whether I'm drunk or not, so...
There are obvious advantages to the fact that you haven't hit your bottom, but I know how hard motivation is to come by. I also know that, for me anyway, the warnings of doom and gloom from people who were more hardcore ring a little false since they aren't confirmed by personal experience.
I can only state what was true for me. I became worried about my drinking habits because I was not happy with the way I behave while drunk. This, coupled with a vague hope that it would help me get back in shape, was all the motivation I had to go on for quite awhile.
BUT, I have found some additional motivation along the way. My mood, appearance and physical condition have improved noticeably, and this slowly helped me gather more momentum.
Seems to me you don't like blacking out. I don't blame you. There is nothing more vulnerable than a (judging by your pic, smallish) young woman who's had so much to drink she won't even remember what happened to her. I understand nothing bad has happened to you, but a blackout leaves you so exposed that a single bad incident could lead to an ugly bottom.
Maybe this could be your starting motivation? Just tell yourself that you never want to black out again, because it doesn'y seem to me that you do, and work from there.
Good luck staying away from the catnip.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Posts: 1,006
I was acting dangerously and harming my body for years and years before I figured out I had a problem, and then it was too late to just make up my mind and quit. It took a LOT of work to quit, it was really hard to quit.
Looking back, I wish I had had the motivation to stop earlier. What is is they say? "When you are able to quit, you don't want to; and when you want to, you're not able to"
Where would my motivation have come from? I think from a basic sense of self acceptance and kindness to myself. I didn't like myself very much and I was very comfortable treating my body like **** and putting myself in dangerous situations. I wish I had been honest with myself about how little respect I had for myself.
And other people around me were doing similar things but that didn't make it ok for me to do it. At the end of the day, it's my life, and my head that I put on my pillow. Now it seems obvious that I would rather feel peaceful and whole when I put my head on my pillow, as opposed to black out drunk.
I wish I had not had to go through the things I did to get to this point of understanding. I wish I had figured this out years ago. It would have been an easier road.
Looking back, I wish I had had the motivation to stop earlier. What is is they say? "When you are able to quit, you don't want to; and when you want to, you're not able to"
Where would my motivation have come from? I think from a basic sense of self acceptance and kindness to myself. I didn't like myself very much and I was very comfortable treating my body like **** and putting myself in dangerous situations. I wish I had been honest with myself about how little respect I had for myself.
And other people around me were doing similar things but that didn't make it ok for me to do it. At the end of the day, it's my life, and my head that I put on my pillow. Now it seems obvious that I would rather feel peaceful and whole when I put my head on my pillow, as opposed to black out drunk.
I wish I had not had to go through the things I did to get to this point of understanding. I wish I had figured this out years ago. It would have been an easier road.
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