The old familiar ache today was replaced by good visions
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
The old familiar ache today was replaced by good visions
I had a horribly difficult day today and my stress and adrenaline was through the roof. Of course my Alcoholic Voice was right there pestering and begging. "You know you what will knock that adrenaline right down don't you?"
I fed into it for about a half hour, devising a plan how I was going to leave for a break and pick up some cheap 24 oz cans. I closed today and for the last hour it is just two of us. It would be easy to sneak some in as it's not like we are standing next to each other.
It visibly frustrated me as another coworker preparing to leave asked if I was OK. I just told her I was tired after a long day and shortly after she left these good visions popped into my head.
They are visions of me doing all the healthy things I do now to replace the Alcohol. Just like that, the voice stopped bothering me and I felt a little better except for this splitting headache I now had.
Then I got angry a little thinking of how that damn echo of a nagging voice just won't leave me alone. It almost made me act today, I was close. If it wasn't for the good visions I have been implanting in my mind and being so damn tired I might have done it.
I thought then about all the songs I have written as a testament to my sobriety and I felt stronger. Strong enough to leave the voice behind again.
To another sober day to you all
I fed into it for about a half hour, devising a plan how I was going to leave for a break and pick up some cheap 24 oz cans. I closed today and for the last hour it is just two of us. It would be easy to sneak some in as it's not like we are standing next to each other.
It visibly frustrated me as another coworker preparing to leave asked if I was OK. I just told her I was tired after a long day and shortly after she left these good visions popped into my head.
They are visions of me doing all the healthy things I do now to replace the Alcohol. Just like that, the voice stopped bothering me and I felt a little better except for this splitting headache I now had.
Then I got angry a little thinking of how that damn echo of a nagging voice just won't leave me alone. It almost made me act today, I was close. If it wasn't for the good visions I have been implanting in my mind and being so damn tired I might have done it.
I thought then about all the songs I have written as a testament to my sobriety and I felt stronger. Strong enough to leave the voice behind again.
To another sober day to you all
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Keep Trying
Posts: 370
I like this post sudz. This is the type of additude and thought process that gets us where we really want to be. Not all HO and full of regret but truly processing our feelings for what they are. Feelings. Then letting them go with the wind.
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