behindblueyes

Hello all. I just got finished detoxing in the hospital and went through some pretty bad DTs. I have detoxed in the past and this was the worst detox yet with delusional thoughts and hallucinations. I thought I was a goner for sure.

I am a week sober now and am still in panic mode and forming sentences is hard so bear with me. I forced myself back to my old AA meeting last night and we were told to read tradition 7 from a book then discuss. I passed. An older man next to me started rambling. He went off on somewhat of a tangent and seemed to be either in detox or have brain damage from years of alcohol abuse (He was talking like my grampa who died from alcoholism).

I was shocked because I felt bad that the man couldn't form a sentence and other members of the meeting were actually laughing at him right then and there as he continued on. Members poked fun at him when he is a reminder of what we all could be if we keep drinking. I thought AA was supposed to be a place for compassion and healing and I left this meeting disgusted. We have other meetings in this town with the same members which I will not be attending. This man clearly wasn't drunk and after the meeting I talked to him about what a horrible disease alcoholism is. I dunno, I guess I need some faith restored here. Thanks.

Boleo

Most AA meetings are "a place for compassion and healing" but you seem to have found one that is an exception. It may even be that in a small town all the meetings seem the same because the same people attend all the meetings. The man you heard talking may have been wet brained. Read the following link:

Wernicke

john44

Well, this is a tough one. If they were actually making fun of him, I'd be very surprised and saddened. I went to a meeting in full withdrawals, shaking, sweating, couldn't speak properly, really in horrible shape.

I could see the concern on those peoples faces. After the meeting at least a dozen people came up to me, talked to me, encouraged me, hugged me. The only person I knew there was my sponsor.

Is it possible you misunderstood? Perhaps the guy was well known there and was just being good-naturely teased?

IndaMiricale

Sorry about that. Unfotuanlely everyone is only human and some dont work a good program. That is not the normal.

I was diagosed with wet brain or Korsakoff syndrom at 39 after detoxing in coutny jail. So badly my hallucunations had me running head first into the cell wall. And 2 days woke up in the ICU at the Cleveland Clinic. Being told of what I had , lucky for me the thiamine treatments they gave me brought me back. But nobody should be laughing at anyone there. I cant believe noone put a stop to it.

I hope you can talk to those people and tell them what you felt and hopefully try some different meetings.

Glad you made throu detox and came and posted.

tomsteve

it happens. i live in small town northern michigan and it happens. some people are not very mentally and emotionally sober and stuck in the middle school mentality. there are many different levels/stages of sobriety goin on in AA and length of sobriety doesnt always determine where a person is mentally and emotionally. some dont want to grow. some dont want to let go fo those defects/shortcomings. it happens.
the thing for me to do is remember they are sick people. do i want what they have? if no, i stay away. seek out the fellowship you crave and it will appear.

maybe bring up the topic of love and tolerance is our code at a meeting and see what ya hear. it may also help ya find a sponsor.

good on ya for gettin back to AA after detox.

onlythetruth

I think this experience should be a wake up call to ALL of us, not just AA folks. This could happen in any recovery meeting, not just AA meetings. It's critical to remember that people with addictions often are sick, often struggle, often "don't get it", often are extremely vulnerable, but ALWAYS deserve compassion and concern, particularly from those of us who have found a comfortable recovery for ourselves. I would hope that any time any one of us sees such behavior we'll do all we can to stop it.

behindblueyes

It was mostly giggles from people and a man across from me kept rolling his eyes. The individual was talking about things off topic and about how he had telepathy. I guess I'm the only one who thought he was really sick because others seemed annoyed that he kept talking. Like he was a waste of time. Wet brain seems about right. He had been in jail and probably never received help for detox. Sad.

2granddaughters

You do realize that in an AA clubroom is the biggest bunch of sick puppies that you could ever imagine. The worst lying, cheating, backstabbing, denying, covering up, perverted, dysfunctional, selfish, arrogant, manipulating, childish, hopeless, helpless, deeply flawed people that you could ever assemble in one place .... and once in a while some of them have a bad day.

Don't let what you saw color your perception of AA. Learn from it and grow.

All the best.

Bob R

Sapling

Well put Bob....Keep coming back!

bbthumper

There definitely are meetings that I have left feeling the same way. The best I can do is be the change I wish to see at that meeting. Seems like you did the right thing.
Try some other meetings. Like alcoholics, some meetings are sicker than others. They seem to have lost touch with the real message, but there are some great groups out there and youll find'em.

God Bless!

FlyerFan

I have to agree with Bob here. Don't let those few people ruin your experience. Go to other meetings and see what you can discover. If everyone gave up on AA after witnessing things like this the program wouldn't exist today. We're all sick at one point or another. Some of us never get better. But those of us who do have a duty to keep the program alive for the future sick people.

BadCompany

So, you're a week sober and you're already looking for a reason to leave.

john44

Bob, although this can certainly apply to some individuals and some meetings have more of these folks than others, I don't think it applies to the vast majority of those in recovery. I've met many kind, selfless, remarkable people in the rooms.

Sapling

I was thinking the same thing...If you want to find things wrong with AA...I'm sure you can. I was looking for a way to save my life...And that's what I found.

Sapling

Many of us do recover.

sugarbear1

It does happen and I get disappointed in others, but it's also about acceptance. I accept it all. I do hope Karma gets to them one day, so I work on that for me.....

Sally1009

Bob,that made me laugh! What is an AA clubroom? Never heard of them here in the UK!

john44

Most AA meetings take place in churches, senior centers or community buildings. There are some buildings fully rented by an AA group which are dedicated to meetings. Some allow members to hang out there most of the day. These are known as clubhouses. Members pay additional dues to be members of the clubhouse.

Jfanagle

Behindblueyes,
After reading your post I was trying to formulate some written response that would help you, if that is what you are looking for in this post, find a way to keep attending AA meetings for your own good. Obviously if I read your post correctly you need something that will help you overcome your alcohol issues.

The best I came up with was that when I first decided to attend AA meetings it was because I had run out of other options and my drinking was killing me physically, emotionally and socially. I most certainly did not go to AA because I wanted to.

My expectations of an AA meeting were so low that if they had conducted public floggings and exorcised demons I would not have been surprised. No amount of bizarre behavior, rudeness and inappropriate comments really shocked me. I stayed because I had to get sober, for me and AA was the only place I knew of where that was the primary order of business.

My point is that by having NO expectations and preconceived notions of what AA should or shouldn't be I just sat there listening, trying to understand the whole 12 step thing and gradually made the acquaintance and later made friends with those people in the rooms who had what I wanted. I did what those people did and over the next several years by not drinking and trying to live a life of value and integrity and compassion I have really got my money’s worth if you will, from AA.

I try not to be someone that will deter a new person from attending and try by example to be that fellow that the new guy wants to have what I have. There are still all sorts of strange people in AA meetings and behavior that I am often amazed at. Me, I just go happily on my way trying to add and not detract from a fellowship that gave me back my life in the last century.

Expect the least possible and try and give the most and at least at the end of that meeting you won't be one of the people that your parents warned you about!

Best wishes,

Jon

Zencat

You can an be the example of how to show compassion to others. I think that may help counter the negative vibes that you feel in that meeting.