spryte

Advaita vedanta school of thought is essentially based on the concept of non-dualism - where our true essence (Atman) is God (Brahman). God is not outside us - God IS the true us. God is behind everything and everywhere. So, to find God, we must find the true essence within ourselves.

And you get there via meditation.

When I meditate, I don't meditate on myself as such - my ego self -, nor do I think of something outside myself. I don't know where I'm going with this...I dont know if this is any help at all!

I find it peaceful. I am not thinking of "God" as something outside myself, is my main point.

Pigtails

Thank you everyone for all the replies. They are all really helpful.

Pigtails

I guess what I mean is that I think a lot of my issues stem from low self esteem. I know that that ironically brings a lot of self-centeredness and false ego/pride/sensitivity along with it. So if I learn to truly love myself, accept myself, trust myself, ask myself for guidance and really listen and follow my own inner wisdom no matter what anyone else thinks or says or does ("to thine own self be true...") ("always let your consience be your guide...") then I will be happier. I know that I can't drink and be the best me or even anywhere close to a "better" version of me. I don't believe its my THINKING that got me here but my ACTIONS. My not being true to who I am and what I know is best for myself. By treating myself badly for some reason, instead of well. By NOT listening to my inner voice or instincts. So that is why I wonder if I could be my own higher power. Like Dear Pigtails that I know I want to be and can be and who is in there, please give me the strength to do what I know I should do. To me that makes more sense than praying to a chair or a doorknob. I also know that I can't control my outside circumstances or other people but I can control ME. So why not be my own guide. I'm just trying to explain my line of thought. To me this is similar to when I wrote down what/how I wanted my higher power to be in my AA steps-- loving, forgiving, kind, etc. I was like oh yeah, I can be all of those things to myself! I have no one else outside me to rely on but myself.

DayTrader

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-yourself.html

PT, ^^^'s worth checking out.

mecanix

I believe that the power of good and god (if there is one) is in the minds, hearts and actions of my fellow men/women, To seek that within myself and try to reach out towards it with humble prayer and meditation is fine .

It is more selfless than self, lacking in ego, a nirvana .

Bestwishes , M

penny74

"Could my Higher Power be MYSELF? "

Yes.
YOU have to do it.
YOU have it in you.

soberbrooke

I love the book, Dancing in the Shadows of The Moon. It talk about that!

I also like to call my God, the Creative Forces.

SSIL75

I would definitely recommend you check out Rational Recovery/AVRT.

Che

You definitely don't need a god to quit alcohol... I don't think you need to think of yourself as a higher power (or your ideal self etc). It is just called self-control and self-discipline.

If you depend on god and your faith wavers, so will your ability to quit. If you depend on others and your relationships with them waver, so will your ability to quit. If you depend on yourself, you don't make stupid rationalizations about your environment and know that it is always you at the wheel, then it is always your decision. Some people are afraid of that decision, so afraid they want to leave it to as many others as possible so it is never them who has to say no, but in the end that's not realistic or reliable. If you were incredibly pious already and never had your faith waver even in horrible events, sure, use god as your support. If you don't believe in god now and you've tried, it's pretty much the worst idea possible to think it will help. Just have a little self-respect and be kind to your body. Obsession with exactly what and why and every minute of the day is what leads people to anxiety and stress and inability to move on, and thus eventually relapse. It's one of many reasons people lose control.

onlythetruth

Pigtails, I couldn't agree more. But I found this fact entirely incompatible with the 12 step philosophy--which is one reason I moved on from AA.

Auvers

Pigtails, you wrote that you can not be the best you and drink. That is me precisely. Impossible for me to access all the strengths I have acquired or engage meaningfully with others while I am engaged in drinking. So I consider my highest power to be me very sober, the more time between me and my last day as an alcoholic, the higher my power.

RobbyRobot

When I quit, I had no use for God. I did have a use for sobriety though, and so, in my earliest days, not being drunk, being sober became my HP. I didn't (and still don't) pray to my HP. AA allows for my own understanding, and so no problemo, for me anyways.

I'm sober decades now, and although my HP is entirely more sophisticated then just not being drunk, my HP in essence remains what I started with, so yeah, my experience is your HP only needs to be what you come to understand it as, and that is the end of it. Others, sometimes, say more is required. Well, no, more is not required.

As for making yourself your own HP, that will surely fail, as you would be required to seperate yourself from the best of yourself, just so that you could have awareness of your HP as being there for you. This seperation would not be ideal in later years, even if at first it has great appeal.

Don't be discouraged though, Pigtails. You are into something very essential and important. You've taken the road less travelled, and so don't entertain the naysayers with agrument as you develop your philosophy. Just smile, and be thankful for whatever criticism is offered, knowing for yourself they don't walk in your shoes...

Also, I came to learn to seperate my alcoholic mind from my sober mind, and you may find the distinctions helpful. In later years, I've not paid any penalty for such distinctions, and my experience is that my rewards have always been worth my original efforts from my earliest days of quitting.

AVRT is a somewhat standardised way forward with such distinctions. The Beast is similarly understood, somewhat differently, to what is realised with my knowing of the alcoholic mind. At any rate, you'll surely find AVRT interesting, and, helpful perhaps.

RobbyRobot

Awesome.

aeo1313

Thank you for starting this thread...you are voicing all the thoughts that have been swimming in my head for a few weeks. I am a better person sober and if I want to stay the person that I like I need to remain sober. That easy.

spryte

Pigtails, here is a link from SMART Recovery that I found helpful on our concept of self:

SMART Recovery® - Unconditional Self-Acceptance (USA)


Here is the beginning part:

I accept myself because I'm alive and have the capacity to enjoy my existence. I am not my behavior. I can rate my traits and my behavior, but it is impossible to rate something as complex as my 'self.' My self consists of innumerable traits, not just this one. I strive for achievement only to enhance the enjoyment of my existence, not to prove my worth. Failing at any task cannot make me a failure.

I can choose to accept myself even if am unwilling or unable to change my 'character defects' because there is no law of the universe that says I can't. My approval of myself cannot come from pandering to any external source or bowing to any external authority. My self-acceptance can only come from me, and I am free to choose it at any time.

...
I will also throw in my favorite AA slogan (sorry, couldn't help myself!) - it is "First things first." My interpretation of this is: stop drinking! It's the first priorty. Nothing else is possible unless I stop drinking.

Whatever it takes to stop drinking. AA is working for me, so I'm sticking with that (after a couple of years or struggling with it) but I am open to lots of different programs. There are lots of different ways.

I like Sober Recovery, SMART Recovery, I see a counsellor. I am making career changes, trying to get balance in my life. There are lots of different angles to approach it from.

freshstart57

Pigtails, those thoughts were so well said there, and I could not agree more. There is nothing wrong with your thinking ability in the least. There are lots of people here that have gotten sober on their own power, and I believe that you as much as I, have this power.

I like what Che has to say. If you need God to get sober, what happens if you lose your faith in Him? If you need others to stay sober, what happens when those relationships change?

The only thing that will always be with you is YOU. You have inside of you what you need to do this. There is nothing to be afraid of here, you will succeed simply by knowing that you can.

Huey

I AM my Recovery. I AM self recovered. NO GOD, NO DODGY SPIRITUALISM, NO STEPS, Just ME along with love and respect for my FAMILY.

RobbyRobot

Seriously.

People can of course recover, be recovered, without a belief, without a faith in God, or an HP. Yep, they can.

davaidavai

Why can't your higher power be life? Life has rules: you give pain, you get pain; you give and get given, even if only in a spiritual sense. We all live on this continuum. You break the spiritual rules and sooner or later you'll get crushed. We see crushed people everywhere. Sometimes they don't even realize how crushed they are. We also see people practicing insight into life everywhere. Sometimes, they don't even realize it. This to me sounds like a higher power we are all intimately involved with.

Why not make prayer into an act of listening to what life is telling you and practicing every moment in accordance with obvious spiritual laws that do exist and which, perhaps, hint at something divine that we can't grasp?

I myself think of traditional prayer as a way of occupying my mind and reminding myself of what is right. But true prayer for me is more like listening to myself, to life and going with the good. It's an immediate experience. Thomas Aquinas said that we can't experience the essence of God, only his energies. God is just too big for the human mind to grasp. Why not observe life as these energies? I think this idea of praying to 'myself' speaks to this, to turning away from something far away to something intimate, but I also think there's more going on than me. There's this thing we are all involved in that favors good outcomes.

KnowHope

I tried wrapping my mind around infinity, it just isn't big enough. The God of my understanding is beyond my understanding, and I find much peace in that.