sugarbear1

I spoke with a newcomer yesterday, welcomed her to the meeting, offered help and spoke with her, asked her to lunch today after the meeting and she never showed or called.

Hmmmm. Newcomers don't seem to be satisfied no matter what happens.

bloss

If we do what is right, then our side is right. Let's not take a newcomers inventory.

Mizzuno

Most of those posts up there are the reason that I am scared to walk back into AA. Seems to me like a lot of people were taking the newcomers inventory and saying" don't take inventory". Not really practicing what your preaching.

CowboyTim

Bingo!

Bazerington

Just wondering how arguments about whether one way is right or who is right can help any of us???
Thanks to all of you for the help you've offered me :-)

Mizzuno

It doesn't help anybody.

2granddaughters

Give AA a try for 90 days. If it doesn't help you then you can walk away.... you would know and there would be no argument.

All the best.

Bob R

RobbyRobot

Hmmm. We've both been around AA long enough to know, from experience, that those who do walk away from AA after 90 days are not cheered as they wave good-bye. They are mostly told to stick around and try harder. And harder. And harder yet still...

90 days. 90 minutes. 90 years.

Its not about quantity of time. Its only, only, about quality. QUALITY speaks for itself. Quantity speaks for nothing more then counting beans.

onlythetruth

Pretty harsh, Bob. He's found another meeting that he likes better, just as he should. What's wrong with acknowledging that the first meeting wasn't a good one? He's gonna get drunk because he has some discernment?

Sheesh.

FlyerFan

Has anyone noticed lately that every thread related to AA seems to be getting closed, due to people bickering and arguing over recovery methods? Why don't we just try to help the OP by offering our experience, not our opinions of the program itself.

Sapling

It's mind boggling....

Hollyanne

I can only say that the dog on the street could offend me and hurt my feelings.
I am that sensitive!
Go to different meetings as you are doing.
I would say that when you mentioned in your share that you had been at AA 25yrs previously, that maybe they didn't want to insult you with newcomer treatment.
I would be considerate of that if you had spoken at my meetings.
I hope you get sober this time for good.
We are worth it, aren't we?

2granddaughters

AA meetings are like beer...... No bad ones, just some better than others.

Pick the one you like and stick to it.

All the best.

Bob R

Coqui

Cowboy,

My first meeting I went to was so scary. I walked in with 3 days under my belt. I was nervous as heck. I got my 24 hr coin and nobody offered numbers it was me that walked up to the speaker to say thank you. I took myself to the county SIA ofc walked in and was greated by some wonderful longtimers that broke it down for me. Just as I was getting ready to take all my new knowledge with me and try again in walked in this woman picking up books. I asked her about womans meeting and she said she had a great one. Long story short I go there and have my home meeting there.
I think it is important to welcome newcomers and returns with hope,kindness and info.

2granddaughters

Those who walk away from AA after 90 days aren't ready for it, they haven't hurt enough. They still think they can fix things, that they know better.

All the best.

Bob R

freshstart57

I think there is only one recovery method being discussed here. Comments are for the most part within the group of adherents to this same recovery method. An opportunity for improvement has been dismissed as 'inventory taking' and turned into a personal criticism. A truly disappointing way to have a conversation.

Ad Hominem

spryte

I can only speak from my experience; AA - after a couple of years of struggle - pretty close to what 2granddaughters talks about actually - I had to get more miserable and desperate and I had to try things myself and fail and get more miserable and desperate - I am finally starting to see some real progress - it is working! It is working. I'm doing what is suggested. I would also note that I was always open to the HP idea, open in the sense that I didn't have strong feelings against it. That helped.

But that's just my experience.

There are lots of people out there who had different roads to recovery and it didn't involve AA. Their experience is just as valid. Lots of these people are here on SR. Some of my favorite people here on SR have that Jedi wisdom and that peace - they didn't get it from AA.

When I started going to AA and saw the happy, recovered people - I thought - "well, you're not like ME. You weren't as miserable as I AM. Your experience doesn't apply to ME." And I was wrong.

People in AA should know this better than anyone - we can be WRONG. How can we assume that someone else's recovery isn't just as valid, and exciting, and helpful and inspirational? Just because it didn't involve AA?

Shame on us.

Mizzuno

This is all so interesting.

RobbyRobot

Well, Bob, you've proven exactly my point. Walking away from AA is not something that is widely agreed with inside of AA. You saying they haven't hurt enough is a great example, unfortunately, of my statement.

Your efforts bring to mind those of a salesman in the business of selling AA sobriety at any cost. I don't support such efforts.

I've been in meetings where freedom to walk away is okay, just to let the record be clear. That is the AA I do support.

tomsteve

let it go,folks....let it go. we are all entitled to our own opinion.


we are here to help the OP, not debate who is right.