Habiba

I don't know how to explain my addiction to my husband. He seems to think that I can just give up drinking during the week and then have a beer with him on the weekends. And I don't know how to explain the cravings and the need to drink.

I know he'll be understanding because he's a great guy. But I just don't know how to put into words.

Any suggestions?

easyrider73

You just have to be honest with him and tell him everything you go through. Ive been married to my wife 17 years and she has seen at my worse on many occasions. My problem with alcohol is I'm not a daily or weekend drinker anymore, I use to be years ago. I just have 3-7 day binges that I have that occur pretty much out of the blue. My wife gets really upset during these times but she is always very supportive,even this time around when I said some truly hurtful things.. Luckily my wife can't drink due to the medication she takes so I don't have to worry about her wanting to drink...Just tell your husband everything that this addiction makes you experience..

doggonecarl

I thought the book, Under The Influence, did a great job explaining alcohol and its effects. There are excerpts in the stickies section at the top of the page.

bbthumper

I would suggest that both you and he read "The Doctors Opinion" in the Big Book of AA. Just google it you can read it online if you dont have a copy.

MetalChick

I my case I didn't have to explain a lot to my BF because he has witnessed what happens when I drink many times. He never saw me able to stop a a beer or two.

katrinka

I have just told my family it is easier for me not to drink at all than to think about how much I'm drinking. My daughter asked me if I was going to drink again now that my health is better. When I said "no" I could tell she was happy. I don't make a big deal out of it and that works for me.

gravity

Alcoholics are wired differently both physically and mentally. Tell him to do a little research.

And why is it so damn important to him that you have a beer with him on weekends? My gf has a couple glasses of wine, I drink coffee. No problem.

tomsteve

and its okay to not have an answer for him. i would highly suggest ya get the Big book of AA and have him read the 1st 164 pages, with emphasis on the 1st 3 chapters.

iffen ya do a google seach for big book online, you can find it there to read.

lilyrosemary

Hey Habiba, what i experienced with my husband, who is not addicted to anything, never has been, is this: he completely did not understand at all because he couldn't relate. i told him he would have to be able to get inside my skin and stand under my brain to know what it was like to be me. he got some education while i was in treatment, and it did help, but even in recovery, i know he just doesn't get it, and he doesn't have to, as long as i do.
God bless nancy reagan and her "just say no" campaign for drinking and drugging, but that's like telling a homeless person to "just get a house"

Habiba

No No! Its not important, I didn't mean it like that. He's been great. He also said that if I can't have a few beers on the weekend (like while having a BBQ or friends over), he wouldn't drink either. He doesn't drink often and when he does it's only a couple of drinks.

katan

My husband is also somewhat supportive - but he doesn't really understand. He thinks that at some point I will be able to drink with him at an "event", or just share a bottle of wine. He doesn't understand that I can't do just one drink, or one bottle of wine. He is waiting for the day I will be a social drinker.
I just do what i need to do - diet pop, ice tea, fruit juice, sparkling water..whatever it takes to not drink alcohol,
Good luck!

sugarbear1

Alcoholism is progressive and can be a life or death situation.

Does he really need to understand the choices you make for you and your health?

CarolD

Perhaps order the books from Amazon ..

:Under The Influence' by milam & Ketcham
it's sequel is ...:Beyond The Influnce" by Ketcham and ???

They are not expensive and easy to read.
"Under" is my favorite 'handbook' on alcoholism...

Hope the two of you work out something soon...

Dee74

good to see you again Habiba

Sometimes despite our best efforts people can't understand...my family still doesn't understand...but they eventually accepted my right to make my choice.

The fact they see my life is much better and I'm much happier not drinking probably didn't hurt either.

Maybe your husband doesn't need to understand exactly? he just needs to know this is important to you and he needs to support you?

D