The Best Kept Secret
 

The Best Kept Secret
By Paula Heller-Garland, MS, LCDC

Addiction Recovery:
Do you remember when you first heard about AIDS? No one really knew enough about it to understand the difference between HIV and AIDS or realize that you can’t contract it through casual contact? There was little research, little education, little funding, and the thought of AIDS meant a death sentence. People made rude comments about the disease. Having the disease was the punch line to jokes. It was acceptable to associate AIDS to the homosexual community. In fact, it was even acceptable to assume one homosexual if they were diagnosed positive.

Do you recall the time in American history when cancer was something we didn’t talk about when someone was diagnosed? Or even, perhaps, a time when the use of racial slurs was completely accepted in the workplace and schools?

What is the reason that has changed? It appears to me to have changed through education and action. Communities of people impacted by the discrimination and stigma rose up and took a stand. They insisted it not be okay to speak with derogatory words. They decided that instead of living in stigma they would insist that the world be educated.

The American Medical Association made the decision to classify behavioral health diagnoses diseases and long before that groups of people were seeking refuge from what they knew had to be more than a choice. So, what is the reason are we still in hiding? Why do people who are in addiction recovery or people educated to treat those with behavioral health diagnoses remain silent? What is causing us to allow the discrimination and stigma to go on?

I have heard some say it is in the traditions of some addiction recovery programs to remain anonymous. The way I read those traditions say it is only inappropriate to mention the particular program. There is no literature saying a person in addiction recovery cannot tell others they are in recovery. This may cause someone to question the reason they would put themselves at risk of being looked down upon for openly saying they are recovering. I assume people with HIV or AIDS, with cancer, with disabilities, or in minority groups, in the past might have felt the same way. What if they had decided to allow the discrimination to go on and not speak out against it through the truth?

Still addiction recovery remains the best kept secret! People in recovery are looked upon as people still struggling to remain sober, clean or not impacted daily with their mental health issues. But, that isn’t the case. People in recovery are productive workers, well -educated, good parents, our neighbors, our friends, our classmates, our teachers, our therapists. What if we stood up together, as people in recovery, those who work in the behavioral health field, and those who love and support people in addiction recovery instead of living in silence and allowing the discrimination to go on?

When is the last time you heard or used pejorative words to describe people in recovery? I daily hear on TV, radio, and in casual conversations people calling others “crazy”. Even people in addiction recovery call themselves or others “drunks”. How will we move past the stigma if we don’t stop doing it ourselves? Recovery from chemical dependency doesn’t mean you are a “drunk” and addressing your mental health issues doesn’t mean you are “crazy”. If people in recovery and those who understand by supporting people in addiction recovery aren’t the voices that rise up, who will?

Will you help END THE STIGMA?

SOURCE

Stupid people call people stupid. Morons call morons morons. Really thin girls are instantly bulimic. Every day I hear someone bad mouth someone even if it is not justified.

It is unfortunately Human nature.

Interesting article, PaperDolls, and so is the comparison of alcoholism to AIDS. The author likes this comparison, believing that AIDS can only be put into remission and is not curable, just as her use of the phrase 'alcoholic in recovery' seems to illustrate the same idea. A certain stigma attaches to both.

I wonder if the same stigma attaches to the 'recovered alcoholics' as to those 'in recovery'. Maybe we are doing this to ourselves by insisting that we are never done with alcohol and have only at best a daily reprieve.

I believe that there will be a cure for AIDS found, and not just a remission. I expect to see it in the next 10 years. When this comes, and people get cured of AIDs, no pills or injections needed, all better, will they still be treated differently? I don't think so. This comparison then to alcoholics 'in recovery' will be telling.

This is why I am writing a memoir. It sickens me the judgement some people have against those with addiction/ or mental illness

I think two things contribute to the stigma (1) No understanding of Alcoholism/Addiction (2) The horrible way we treat people in our active addiction. Mostly number 2. It's self-imposed.

First of all, thanks, PD. I can always count on you for a thought-provoking post.

(Can you tell I'm about to disagree with you?;) )

I just used the word "drunk" to describe how I was because, well, that's what I was. Now I'm an ex-drunk. I'm also a dad, a co-worker, a son, a neighbor, a fan of Elmore Leonard, brown-haired... You get the idea. It's just one part of me, albeit an important one.

I would never compare to myself to an AIDS or cancer patient. I chose to drink. Over and over again, despite all the consequences. Maybe I had a genetic predisposition, maybe my liver enzymes process alcohol differently than others, certainly my mind came under the sway of full-blown dependency at some point... But I still chose to drink. I do not judge others, but I do accept responsibility for my choices. In fact it's a big part of my recovery. :)

And therefore maybe warranted? :)

Yep, you want to start a discussion, walk into a meeting and say, I am Freshstart, and I am a fully recovered / ex-alcoholic. As always, RandA, we are on the same page, but you seem to say it better!

Hey there, freshstart57... why you goin' all negative AA on us here, I didn't think PD's post was about AA... however it appears that you feel that AA does propagate this bias and mistrust against people in recovery... fair enough...

You mentioned the daily reprieve thing. I am not sure what you know about it and whether you have any experience with it... but let me ask you something. In AVRT one of the things I understand about it is that you decide never to drink again, ever, under any circumstances...

Is that a decision you make once and done... do you ever have to, you know, kinda, renew your vow? Like early on, maybe... every day?

Just wondering.

:)

RandA -- You disagree with me or the article? Either way, it's fine by me but you know already that about me. :)

Huh? I didn't think freshstart was getting negative there at all. He said he was on the same page as RandA.

Thanx PD, you are right, I think LOL, you know me, I always like to stir the pot, sorry, it's your thread, I will bow gracefully out....

It's all good ..... I can stir the pot with the best of 'em.

:)

I think most people would be more comfortable calling themselves drunks than alcoholics. A drunk is just a party-hardy idiot, an alcoholic is someone with a serious problem that he has to deal with.

I couldn't agree more.

I would compare myself to a morbidly obese person who developped heart problems or a chain smoker who developped lung cancer, but there's no doubt alcoholics have more responsibility for their condition than people suffering from most other diseases.

Dang it, Mark. Now you are going to make me late to the gym!

Ok, so your understanding is spot-on, it works just like you said. (And for the record, I thought I was stirring the pot, lol.) But as you suggest, and I suspect is true about AA as well, what's on the page does not always transfer perfectly onto the person. In my case, I did indeed find ODAT more inviting and doable early on. Now, however, I would offer a strict AVRT explanation for that: it was easier because it was less threatening to my addiction. The addict in me thought, "Stop for today? Cool -- that means tomorrow's still negotiable...". But when I started saying crazy things like "never", well that's when the addict mind realized I was done negotiating. And that's when it really started hollering...

So what does that say about AA, AVRT, and recovery in general? Nothing. Am I saying ODAT is a bad way to go? Not necessarily. Is a Big Plan essential? Of course not. Just offering my experience, which is, by definition, biased. I thought your question was a really good one.

The article, PD. I realized I phrased it wrong during my drive home! :)

No problem, Mark, I was referring the the stigma attached to alcoholics 'in recovery', wondering if the situation would be different if we decided we were over and done with it - recovered. No criticism of AA other than that is part of the paradigm, never fully recovered.
Big Book, 1st Edition.
I was suggesting that the AA paradigm of 'never recovered' may be responsible in part for this mistrust of 'alcoholics in recovery'. I was also suggesting that if we instead considered ourselves ex alcoholics, and fully recovered, there might be less of this stigma.

What I know of 'daily reprieve' I know from having read the BB.

My vow to never have another drink was made once, and only once. It has never been broken, and never will be broken.

Instead of "stirring the pot" ... I suggest y'all go
find a new member to share your recovery with.

Seems to me that is more productive and in line
with our SR mission of being supportive....:yup:

I should have said "ODAAT." I will have to examine if the lack of a double-A was a Freudian typo, lol....

OK Carol... I am bein' nice and I think freshstart and I, well I'm pretty sure anyway, have mutual respect for one another. Please allow me a little leeway.

So it was pretty easy then, I guess? Just do it, right! That's great, and I'm a little envious. Make the vow once, and it's done! Awesome!

;)

The daily reprieve, in my experience, was a lot of work, at first. I had cravings, lot's of fear, I was pretty resentful about the whole dam* thing... And, yea, it was a "don't drink, one day at a time"... Daily reprieve, you betcha!

But as time went on, I went from not drinking, one day at a time... to living life one day at a time. The daily reprieve is not.... not drinking one day at a time. It's about a spiritual path that is taken.

Hell yea, if being a "recovering" alcoholic means it's a daily grind, hanging on by the finger nails, everyday, living only just not to drink... yea, I think that would propagate some questions, if not an overall negative view of this whole recovery thing.

How to make the world understand this? How to, as per PaperDoll's OP, remove the stigma?

I have done that to a large degree in my own personal universe. That is all I can do. Part of this means I don't go into great detail about things like the daily reprieve. Since I employ AVRT as well, which runs seamlessly into an ongoing 3rd and 11th step, I don't talk too much about the AV... "normies" wouldn't understand.

Peace.