Justfor1

Having struggled with sobriety for many years I have a good idea what helps me & what doesn't. The sad thing is the ideas & concepts that don't help me can have a huge negative impact. The idea that laws can keep me from picking up or scare me into staying sober don't work. The truth is here at SR we all bring to the forum different levels of alcoholism. In a way I am thankful for being a low bottom alcoholic because I really can relate to the Big Book. I feel as if 95% of the people here have not reached the lows that I have reached. Too bad it's not "a contest" because I would win. The best definition of addiction is "continued use despite consequences". Sadly, punishments only made me retreat to the bottle even more.

MrsKing

I can see what you're saying but you're right, it isn't a contest, and we're all here because we have a problem with alcohol. I may have not reached the lows that you have reached but I definitely continued using despite the consequences. The consequences for me were that I was losing friends, probably about to lose my husband, ruining my mental health and generally living a horrible life and I didn't care one bit that alcohol was making those things happen... I carried on drinking anyway. I didn't lose a job through drinking (though I walked out on two because I got myself so depressed and drunk that I didn't want to go back) and I've never been in trouble with the law.

I stopped because I did something that made my eyes open wide, and made me really look at myself - see the person who I'd become. I hate the fact I did it (it wasn't breaking the law, it didn't hurt anyone, it was just something that really made me realise the extent I'd go to get drunk) but I'm glad I did it now, in a way. I'm sober. Anyway, what I was trying to say is that everyone has a different type of moment that causes them to re-evaluate their situation and want to change it. Reaching whatever you lows you've reached... they may be low... but they're not a reflection of how alcoholic you are or how not alcoholic you are.

Alcoholism is progressive but like you say it is no contest... there's absolutely no reason to think that someone who hasn't been in trouble with the law or someone who hasn't done whatever is any less alcoholic... any less understanding of what it means to be an alcoholic.

Being drunk once... being drunk and not being an alcoholic can kill you... can kill others... can cause devastation and destruction... there are people who have had more severe consequences than me and are normal drinkers, just because of certain mistakes they've made when drunk... it all means nothing. It's not a game or a hierarchy.

aeo1313

What's the main idea of this thread? Society "punishes" a drunk when they have done things that are against the law. That is the system we live in.

If we chose to live responsibly and law-abiding, we don't have to even worry about "punishments".

suki44883

When drunks break the law, they deserve to be punished. What is your point?

justhadenough

If you break the law you get punished,drunk or not. People should not be shown anymore leniency because they are drunk. They should face the consequences of their actions and not feel sorry for themselves for getting caught breaking the law

Fandy

I think this is the type of thread that only will provoke arguement.
If JF1 wants to use his *unique* alcohol addiction to justify his actions, thats his option.

KissMyTiara

Seems like a continuation of the earlier locked thread about DUI's being no big deal.

suki44883

Yep, I agree, KMT.

TheEnd

I think the point of the this thread is to say that real alcoholics are not deterred by negative consequences and it doesn't help in the long run. Society needs to come up with a better way of handling the addiction problem. Locking drug addicts and alcoholics up is just a temporary solution to the problem.

Did anybody even take the time to read the thread or did they just look at the subject heading? It's pretty self explanatory. If you don't like a thread, nobody is putting a gun to your head making you respond. Ignore it and move on.

Justfor1

Thank you for the replies but I'm looking for others to identify with dealing with the ugly punishing stigma that I have felt. I know there is a ignore feature & I'm grateful this site has it. I havent even mentioned dui's in this thread and have learned to let go. Hopefully, you folks can talk to your sponsers.

Justfor1

Thank you, theend. You are understanding what I'm trying to get across.

BackToSquareOne

There's a built in paradox tho, why would you punish someone for a "disease" that they're "powerless" over. You can't have it both ways, a disease and powerless when it's convenient and a crime if steps on the rights of others. A classic example of wanting to have your cake and eat it too. At what point does the disease that your powerless over become a crime?

KissMyTiara

I don't have a sponsor. Don't need one. I use a different recovery method. And really? "ugly punishing stigma". JF1.....I think you are dancing around not being sober for real. Fun and games and see how long I can play and miss the bullet.

I wish you well.

flutter

The punishment isn't about getting someone sober, it's about protecting innocent people from unlawful actions. The getting sober stuff is on the alcoholic. Just my opinion.

Misguided

I have to agree with this. No one is "punished" criminally for just the act of being drunk...there has to be some type of criminal intent to go with the act - putting others in danger or true laws being broken, etc. People aren't arrested for the actual ingestion of drugs - they are arrested for possessing and/or selling them. They are arrested for being so intoxicated that they become a harm to other people.

I don't think laws are put in place to help clean up the community of addicts and alcoholics, nor should there be. You make your own bed, you lie in it when it comes to this.

PaperDolls

When I was drinking, I think I punished myself more than anyone. (I was never caught driving drunk and was lucky enough not to kill someone or myself).

The things that happened in my life then, as a result of my drinking my have felt like punishments, but in reality, they were just the consequences of my actions.

Ultimately, it was the consequences that made me want to quit drinking.

Zee

I'm struggling with liver disease. I have punished myself and I am living with the consequenses. Breaking the law is a different ball game. In the eyes of the law, being an alcoholic doesn't make a difference. Otherwise anybody could all use the buzzword 'Alcoholic' to commit crime and get away with it. Where would any justice system be applicable?

Justfor1

It's been hard to forgive myself because society & even a few other recovering people have always hit me over the head with the past. At some point, I had to let go of all the alcoholic/addict nonsense that I caused. I also like helping people who seem like they are in a hopeless situation. In some cases they may be. Being an alcoholic is hard enough & people facing legal situations add to the pressure of dealing with life. I feel as if the majority of people take pleasure in the criminal consequences of alcoholic behavior. It makes them feel better about themselves. They seem shocked & a little disappointed when I tell them exactly what happened. I have received a few positive PM's to me so I do realize that I'm not alone. Thanks

PaperDolls

I know plenty of people who received criminal consequences as a result of poor decisions while drinking that got sober because of it. I don't take pleasure in it, but when someone gets the knock over the head that they need to get sober I do.

Forgiving myself wasn't easy. The steps helped me with that. What step are you on JF1?

john44

Just because an alcoholic is powerless over alcohol doesn't mean we're powerless over our disease; a subtle but very important distinction. This distinction is proven every day by recovering alcoholics who have "owned" responsibility for their disease.