Vanish into thin air
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: oslo
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by Someguy23 
I think we cherish all of our stories, if for no other reason than that they are ours. I think it's fine, they are out past but they don't need to be our future.
Our ethnic and professional backgrounds are about as different as you can get but a lot of your story and the way you relate and react to alcohol rings true to me. Like Dee74 and Sudz_No_More, I think you're at the right place.
This is why I posted on your thread. I generally don't post on newcomer's threads, I've barely just started my own recovery and, since I can't offer any practical advice, I might as well shut up.
I come from a big drinking culture too, and I used that as an excuse too, but it's a crock. Our behaviour when drunk would be abnormal in any culture. I also used to say I drank to relax or to meet girls and that I'd stop when I'd meet the right one. I think it's a crock as well, at least for me.
Speaking strictly for myself now, I have to admit that all the crazy/wild was killing my self-respect. The person I am while drunk isn't a complete stranger, but he's a caricature of who I really am, and I was losing sight of that. Frankly, I'm better than who I am when I'm drunk and it's time I act like it.
I don't know you in real life, but just the fact that you wanted someone to stop minimizing your drunken misdeeds and tell you it's not okay to walk around downtown with your penis out proves you too are better than who you are when you're drunk.
I'll let others better qualified for it to give you advice, but I give you my best wishes.
Our ethnic and professional backgrounds are about as different as you can get but a lot of your story and the way you relate and react to alcohol rings true to me. Like Dee74 and Sudz_No_More, I think you're at the right place.
This is why I posted on your thread. I generally don't post on newcomer's threads, I've barely just started my own recovery and, since I can't offer any practical advice, I might as well shut up.
I come from a big drinking culture too, and I used that as an excuse too, but it's a crock. Our behaviour when drunk would be abnormal in any culture. I also used to say I drank to relax or to meet girls and that I'd stop when I'd meet the right one. I think it's a crock as well, at least for me.
Speaking strictly for myself now, I have to admit that all the crazy/wild was killing my self-respect. The person I am while drunk isn't a complete stranger, but he's a caricature of who I really am, and I was losing sight of that. Frankly, I'm better than who I am when I'm drunk and it's time I act like it.
I don't know you in real life, but just the fact that you wanted someone to stop minimizing your drunken misdeeds and tell you it's not okay to walk around downtown with your penis out proves you too are better than who you are when you're drunk.
I'll let others better qualified for it to give you advice, but I give you my best wishes.
Now when Im feeling down and nostalgic I want the playfulness/carefulness of childhood, so I either need a time machine, or a bunch of beers and some white russians..
I also hate the person I become when blast past that limit of the me, into the depths of what I call animal-me. Its a Dr. Jekyll mr.Neanderhyde thing with me. When Im sober I feel, I live, I laugh. When Im in gorillamode I just want to chug. F the rest.
Glad you posted, my man..
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: oslo
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by CarolD
Welcome...
You won't just vanish into thin air...drinking and drugging will
make you sicker and sicker....it's a destructive way to be..
hope you will soon quit slideing down that dark hole
You won't just vanish into thin air...drinking and drugging will
make you sicker and sicker....it's a destructive way to be..
hope you will soon quit slideing down that dark hole
Thanks.
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: oslo
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by DoinThis
When u get sober u realize that not 'everyone' goes out and drinks heavily every weekend and also some peeps u thought were drinking like u are drinking a quarter as much. All the best hon 
So I decided to never drink again. Went out occasionally, on my own, for three months.. Only drank non-alcoholic beer. I loved it. I just sat there and listened to the music in the pub. Escaping reality. But something was different. Suddenly I was present. It was me relaxing, living in the moment. Letting go of everything. Just being. I had control of it all.
Looking at all the drunk people I felt I never wanted to be like that again. And how they were acting was nothing compared to my beastly behaviour. What I also noticed was all the people smiling at me. Kind of admiring me, like I admired them. You see, they were not drunk. They were out socializing, and you could see it in ther eyes they had mutual respect for someone else being able to enjoy freedom, opposed to bathing in self-destruction..
No friends by my side, no triggers. Just freedom..
Then I went out with a friend from work. Drank two non-alcoholic beers, said f it I`ll have just one regular. And here I am five months later, been drunk every weekend since.
Tomorrow is the day my mother has been dead for 12 years. The day after that her mother (my grandmother) turns 83. I dont have a phone, nor ID to go to the bank to take out money and buy a new phone, so that I can give the poor woman a call..
Why do I refuse to open up my eyes?
~sb
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: MD
Posts: 15,967
Sounds like you just aren't done drinking.....when you are really ready, you will quit, hopefully it will be soon. Consequences are real, especially those related to one's health.
Keep posting! We need to hear from you.
Meanwhile, get a copy of your birth certificate and social security card and get an ID. Some of this can be done online. You have internet, so you must have some kind of money. Borrow someone's phone and make the phone call. Stop using excuses for everything except drinking. Start living life. If you can afford some non-alcoholic and an alcoholic beer, you can certainly find money to replace these things.
I wish you well,
Keep posting! We need to hear from you.
Meanwhile, get a copy of your birth certificate and social security card and get an ID. Some of this can be done online. You have internet, so you must have some kind of money. Borrow someone's phone and make the phone call. Stop using excuses for everything except drinking. Start living life. If you can afford some non-alcoholic and an alcoholic beer, you can certainly find money to replace these things.
I wish you well,
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: oslo
Posts: 14
Originally Posted by sugarbear1
Sounds like you just aren't done drinking.....when you are really ready, you will quit, hopefully it will be soon. Consequences are real, especially those related to one's health.
Keep posting! We need to hear from you.
Meanwhile, get a copy of your birth certificate and social security card and get an ID. Some of this can be done online. You have internet, so you must have some kind of money. Borrow someone's phone and make the phone call. Stop using excuses for everything except drinking. Start living life. If you can afford some non-alcoholic and an alcoholic beer, you can certainly find money to replace these things.
I wish you well,
Keep posting! We need to hear from you.
Meanwhile, get a copy of your birth certificate and social security card and get an ID. Some of this can be done online. You have internet, so you must have some kind of money. Borrow someone's phone and make the phone call. Stop using excuses for everything except drinking. Start living life. If you can afford some non-alcoholic and an alcoholic beer, you can certainly find money to replace these things.
I wish you well,
Theres an old indian saying that goes something like.. At first you drink from the bottle, but after a while the bottle start drinking from you..
This is what its felt like, always. Especially now.
Anyways. Tomorrow.. the 8th day, of the 8th month. Year 12, 12 years after my mother passed away.. is the day I begin my lifetime without alcohol. Im detirmend to do it. I just have to find a replacement high! Im an addictive person. Anyone tried BJJ or Tai Chi?
Tonight is my last three beers.. (Dont worry about it turning out ugly. Ive drank 5 or 6 times by myself my whole life. Never got drunk. No people, no triggers)
Thanks for your support, mate.
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