caboblanco

Ive been sober for 7 weeks. I just examine myself and I feel like a horrible person. I don't know how other people view me but im sure its not good as I don't really fit into any good social circles. I hear the comments and see the looks. I dont really feel like hanging around people that dont care for me or being fake with them. Im been trying to be more social at no success. maybe im just meant to be alone. I hardly ever thought about this nonsense while i was drinking. I need a break. I want to get drunk

2granddaughters

Are you going to AA meetings?

Dee74

Being drunk won't get you into any of those 'good social circles' either Cabo.

I'd drunk for 20 years - I had no idea who the real sober me was - and it took a lottle longer than 7 weeks for me to find that out.

The first three months who I was changed day by day.

Stick with recovery Cabo - there's no answers back the way we came...this really is the way out...but it takes time.

Do you have any other support apart from SR?
D

caboblanco

Ive been to AA quite a few times but it just wasn't for me. I have no support really as I never told anyone about my drinking

julez

Welcome! Don't pick up. Just don't.
Believe me, many times I don't want to think about my life, and want to use alcohol to escape for a minute. But you and I know it lasts way more than a minute. Its a full night, then an entire day wasted being hungover.
Welcome my friend. Stay and chat with us a while. You just might make it through the night

LexieCat

What was it about AA that "wasn't for you"? And is it worse than going back to drinking?

soberclover

This getting sober gig is hard cabo. I totally relate to the "I need a break" from all of the thinking/feeling that I've been doing. I know myself enough, however, that if my "break" includes drinking, my life will quickly turn in to a trainwreck. It always did and it always will. There are a lot of "wants" that I have in my life especially now that I'm sober. What I'm realizing is that I don't get what I want....I get what I need.

Purplecatlover

Cabo,
I know from experience that same thing you're feeling. I wanted to escape. I felt like the walls were caving in.
I gave in & drank after 13 months sober.
It was awful. Not the good feelings, fun time I envisioned. It was the same poison with the same results. Spent all day nursing a hangover feeling like such an idiot.
Don't do what I did. It's sooo not worth it.
Stay here & post. Your feelings will pass. Tomorrows a new day.

Grymt

Stop thinking about your life and don't drink? It'll pass.

Dee74

How are you doing today Caboblanco?

D

Bigndfan175

AA can be intimidating especially as a new comer. When I started attending it took a lot of courage to walk through those doors and a willingness to do a lot of work. After 12 years in and out of AA I finally decided it wasn't that AA was not for me as much as I feared the work and honesty necessary to work the steps and stay sober.

Hang in there - because whether its AA or another group - you need to have support -

caboblanco

I feel alright Dee. I don't want to become the weirdo guy that everybody pokes fun at. I used to not care about that.

sugarbear1

You are in a period of transition and you aren't doing much to treat your alcoholism. Drinking was just a symptom of alcoholism. Alcoholism is drinking to feel comfortable with ourselves and the world around us (the "I don't care" attitude).

You can get through this transition, if you choose to treat your alcoholism. Those 12 steps are a program of action, there is also Rational Recovery, AVRT, SMART, Life Ring, SOS, Power to Quit and Women for Sobriety.

Get into action, learn how to live without drinking, and stay sober much longer than a mear 7 weeks. One year sober is suggested, then try for another year.

We drank for a long time, we don't heal in a short time.

I really wish you well on your sober journey!

Hugs,
~SB

julez

Cabo, nobody is going to poke fun at you. I think its safe to speak for others when I say we have all been there at one point or another. Glad you made it through the night, and into this beautiful day!

paul99

If someone wrote this here at SR, what would you say to them? You'd probably be encouraging? Give them some shot in the arm of compassion? empathize with them? I am sure you would. So be gentle with yourself.

Seven weeks really isn't a lot of time, in the timeline of making changes and getting settled. It's a great amount of time away from alcohol, that's for sure, but what else have you been doing to get to the causes and conditions of wanting to pick up? I needed a plan of recovery - AA.

As for the social thing - I totally understand that one. I was a loner...I isolated...didn't care for anyone, really, and was a wallflower anywhere I went. I wasn't interested in anyone else, or what they had to say. I just wanted to be on my own. Just because I put down the bottle didn't mean that all of a sudden I was Mr. Social. It has taken me some work to go up to someone and just introduce myself, extend a hand and just say hi. A LOT of work. I had to start feeling comfortable in my own skin to do that, and to take baby steps out there. You don't have to be fake with anyone - those days are over. Be your authentic self. What you call nonsense is the very thing you escaped when you drank, so this is heady stuff. We face these things in sobriety, and it can be scary...but we get through it. I did, and I still do...I am still not Mr. Social, but I can hold my own, and I don't run to hide in the corners now. I don't have to put on a mask or facade, and just try to be me.

Don't give up now...you have lots to offer.

caboblanco

thanks for the replies. I feel down today. I got some problems in my life I really don't know how to fix. I am seeing a shrink on monday but I know he can't fix my problems either

Elisabeth888

I think it is good that you are going to a shrink. Sometimes we need to share our problems with someone we trust. It sounds like you are carrying a heavy load.

theHomerSimpson

I bet your therapist will help you more than you are expecting. Again its one of those things that is going to take time, your 1st visit or 2 will just be getting to know each other, then the benefits will start. Be open and honest the best you can. Take it slow, you will get this as long as you put the effort in like it seems you are doing.

Patrick