Day 1 again
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 178
Day 1 again
I am back again, I guess it's been a while. I did great actually as 7 days in a row without drinking, of course I was relaxed on vacation and staying at the beach. But once I came back to reality I drank daily again up to 4 glasses. Monday t
hru Friday. Tonight, Saturday I am attempting a new beginning once again. For those of you who haven't ever read posts. I am a 38 y/0 single mom to a 16 year old daughter. I live alone with her and my pets. I work 2 jobs. Sometimes I feel so lonely. Like I have no one to talk to. I have been using the wine for years as an escape. Usually at night time, sometimes right after work ai find myself already having a small bottle in the car on my way home. It has become a means for me to numb my emotions. I have gained 40 pounds in the last 2 years and have no social life. I sometimes feel like I am going to explode! literally. I get so depressed when I am stuck in my house. i know I need to try to meet new people but it is so difficult I have no single friends. Maybe a common interest meet group of some sort. But first I have to stop the wine drinking. I also feel my daughter's teen years are slipping away from me. Since she was 12 my drinking has increased and now she will be 17 and I don't want to lose her. I used to say I couldn't wait for her to go to college so I can live my own life but the truth is I don't know what I would do without her. I really want to stop drinking wine and mend our relationship which is sometimes rocky due to my erratic moods. I have to stop saying I am going to do these things and actually get into action.
hru Friday. Tonight, Saturday I am attempting a new beginning once again. For those of you who haven't ever read posts. I am a 38 y/0 single mom to a 16 year old daughter. I live alone with her and my pets. I work 2 jobs. Sometimes I feel so lonely. Like I have no one to talk to. I have been using the wine for years as an escape. Usually at night time, sometimes right after work ai find myself already having a small bottle in the car on my way home. It has become a means for me to numb my emotions. I have gained 40 pounds in the last 2 years and have no social life. I sometimes feel like I am going to explode! literally. I get so depressed when I am stuck in my house. i know I need to try to meet new people but it is so difficult I have no single friends. Maybe a common interest meet group of some sort. But first I have to stop the wine drinking. I also feel my daughter's teen years are slipping away from me. Since she was 12 my drinking has increased and now she will be 17 and I don't want to lose her. I used to say I couldn't wait for her to go to college so I can live my own life but the truth is I don't know what I would do without her. I really want to stop drinking wine and mend our relationship which is sometimes rocky due to my erratic moods. I have to stop saying I am going to do these things and actually get into action.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,436
welcome back VF 
I think you know as well as I do there are better ways to deal with stress fear and loneliness than drinking....
Drinking just ends up adding to that stuff - not solving it.
You're right tho - first you have to stop drinking before you can deal with anything else.
Do you have any kind of plan? any ideas?
will you be looking for other support besides SR?
D
I think you know as well as I do there are better ways to deal with stress fear and loneliness than drinking....
Drinking just ends up adding to that stuff - not solving it.
You're right tho - first you have to stop drinking before you can deal with anything else.
Do you have any kind of plan? any ideas?
will you be looking for other support besides SR?
D
Member
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
ok, you see you have to get into action. do you know what actions are necessary to change the erratic moods?
for me, alcohol was but a symptom of a much deeper problem. remove the alcohol and i was still screwed up mentaly, emotionally, and spiritually.
i was very alone when i drank. and the sick thing is there wasnt enough alcohol to stop from feeling that way. i would have times i wanted to get ut and around people, go to the bar, and sit in the corner by myself.me and my drink.
i couldnt use my thinking to fix me. i went to AA. found a felowship and a program of action that has worked great for me.
for me, alcohol was but a symptom of a much deeper problem. remove the alcohol and i was still screwed up mentaly, emotionally, and spiritually.
i was very alone when i drank. and the sick thing is there wasnt enough alcohol to stop from feeling that way. i would have times i wanted to get ut and around people, go to the bar, and sit in the corner by myself.me and my drink.
i couldnt use my thinking to fix me. i went to AA. found a felowship and a program of action that has worked great for me.
Adventures In SpaceTime
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Ottawa, Canada
Posts: 5,827
Hi VF,
You know, you have all the right understandings to quit drinking and get on with living your life, and with really enjoying your time with your daughter. It can be difficult for us to forgive ourselves when we first try to quit, and we often feel we don't have what it takes to stay quit. We do. Its not like we don't have what it takes, so don't give up. So many of us now live really happy, full, exciting lives. So many of us now have good friendships, and improved family relationships. So many of us are no longer lonely, and left out. So many of us have accomplished this and more, that the idea that somehow alot of others can't is really not true at all. I used to be really struggling with a drunken life, a write-off really, and now for many years I've enjoyed a good happy sober life. You can too, VF!
You're on the right path sharing your challenges. Making informed decisions and following thru will bring the most success. There is alot of help and experience on the SR forums for us to learn from. Its never to late.
You know, you have all the right understandings to quit drinking and get on with living your life, and with really enjoying your time with your daughter. It can be difficult for us to forgive ourselves when we first try to quit, and we often feel we don't have what it takes to stay quit. We do. Its not like we don't have what it takes, so don't give up. So many of us now live really happy, full, exciting lives. So many of us now have good friendships, and improved family relationships. So many of us are no longer lonely, and left out. So many of us have accomplished this and more, that the idea that somehow alot of others can't is really not true at all. I used to be really struggling with a drunken life, a write-off really, and now for many years I've enjoyed a good happy sober life. You can too, VF!
You're on the right path sharing your challenges. Making informed decisions and following thru will bring the most success. There is alot of help and experience on the SR forums for us to learn from. Its never to late.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Welcome back to SR and congratulations on making the decision to get sober again. As has already been mentioned - wine appears to be a friend, to make things easier, but in fact it just makes things a whole lot worse. Wine was my drink of choice, too. I'd crack open that bottle, fill up a glass and sigh, instantly relaxed. Looking back, I realise I was a total fool. I didn't think about anything further than that initial sip, and we all know what happens after that initial sip, and so despite knowing what the wine did to me, I drank even so and still believed it to be the thing I needed to relax and enjoy life. I was so wrong... and it took hardly any sober time at all to realise this. By 1 month sober things were getting easier, and by 3 months life was fantastic. I'm 4 months sober now and apart from some very upsetting memories (prefer not to dwell on them) I feel like I've never been a drunk. You can do it... you just have to put your mind to it. Believe in yourself - believe that you (and your daughter) deserve better than this. Alcohol makes NOTHING better. It only makes things worse in the long run... it only adds to the issues, and when you take it away, those issues may seem bigger than ever. It is then, sober, that you can deal with them and change your life. I love that saying "nothing changes if nothing changes" because it's true about everything in life. If you want something to be different, you have to make it that way. All the best to you x
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Poconos PA
Posts: 1,544
Too true MrsKing. "Nothing changes if nothing changes."
Violetflame, hold on to the new determination you have this time. Try a new escape route instead of drinking. I have been finding new ones in various different ways, walking the dogs, playing music and sometimes even a drive down a nice back road will take me down a few notches after a difficult shift.
I do understand from your post that you work two jobs which certainly does not leave much time but what time you do have is being spent drinking. Try finding an alternate stress reliever that will take the place of it. You have to fill that void, don't leave it empty. Your Alcoholic mind will always be looking to fill it.
Keep coming here and posting, we are listening.
Violetflame, hold on to the new determination you have this time. Try a new escape route instead of drinking. I have been finding new ones in various different ways, walking the dogs, playing music and sometimes even a drive down a nice back road will take me down a few notches after a difficult shift.
I do understand from your post that you work two jobs which certainly does not leave much time but what time you do have is being spent drinking. Try finding an alternate stress reliever that will take the place of it. You have to fill that void, don't leave it empty. Your Alcoholic mind will always be looking to fill it.
Keep coming here and posting, we are listening.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 423
Yes, an alternate stress reliever that will make you feel great about yourself, take your mind off drinking and will take place around other people!!!
For me, working out at a nearby gym was a huge part of sobriety. Getting in good physical shape worked wonders for me. And there is a fitness section on this forum!
Dave
Ps. Don't use the old line, I don't have enough time as an excuse!
For me, working out at a nearby gym was a huge part of sobriety. Getting in good physical shape worked wonders for me. And there is a fitness section on this forum!
Dave
Ps. Don't use the old line, I don't have enough time as an excuse!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Edmonton Alberta
Posts: 23
It gets eaiser, with 4 days sober your mind is mostly still in the same place.
When its only been 4 days, that evil demon in your mind is saying its only been four days, no big deal if you mess up. But its a huge deal cause your not getting anywhere. The more days you have sober, the harder it is to convince your self its not a big deal to drink.
It gets much easier. Keep it up!
When its only been 4 days, that evil demon in your mind is saying its only been four days, no big deal if you mess up. But its a huge deal cause your not getting anywhere. The more days you have sober, the harder it is to convince your self its not a big deal to drink.
It gets much easier. Keep it up!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Nebraska
Posts: 423
Before I quit drinking, I worked out five nights each week. As a reward, I would stop at the liquor store on the way home. I look back on it now and really applaud you for not drinking after your workout.
As simple as it sounds, just commit to not drinking each day.
Dave
As simple as it sounds, just commit to not drinking each day.
Dave
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: Miami, FL
Posts: 178
Thanks everyone. And yes Dave, I would always go get my wine after working out. Or when I didn't work out or right after work., I would come home already having drunk one or 2 small sutter home bottles in the car. But I am getting stronger I feel this time is it. I am so fed up with all the things wine has done to me physically and emotionally. I will keep posting
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