Someguy23

Do you never think about your exes, or feel like seeing them again? I know I do occasionally, even the ones who became exes for very good reasons.

It doesn't even have to be as serious as a relationship or an addiction, I think it's normal to think back to anything which (let's be honest) brought us enjoyment for awhile even if we eventually decided to move on.

I did archery some time back and enjoyed it a lot until I had an accident (managed to shoot myself in the head) which left me with a little nervous quiver whenever I drew an arrow and had to give it up. I would still like to pop down to the range every now and again even though I figure there's no point. I did try it again last year, unfortunately the nervousness is still there.

freshstart57

Look after your equipment and it will look after you.

Db1105

I got sober whe there was on AA. I live by the Philosophy of it it works, don't fix it. I've been sober 34 years. I still try to get to my home group once a week, and sometimes another meeting. If I miss it, I miss it. But, I was taught by my first sponsor that you can't keep it, unless you give it away. AA is the only place I know where I can continue to work step 12.

I may of wanted to stop and more on, but the fact that I was one time an active alcoholic will always be there. It's just a few chapters of the journey that makes up my life. I feel no shame or need to hide it.

hypochondriac

When I read this Donenow, I thought 'that's what I used to want too!'. A method of quitting that required absolutely no effort and would mean that I had no unhealthy obsessive thoughts. I actually used to think that it was an 'unhealthy' attitude to give up drinking completely because it was somehow obsessive to never be able to do something. Now I think the opposite, that it was my efforts to keep alcohol in my life which were unhealthy.

Anyway, that's besides the point. The fact is that anything worth doing requires effort. Your recovery method doesn't have to define you. You don't even have to identify as an alcoholic to recover (AVRT). There are many different options. But I'm pretty sure they all require some kind of work/consistency, and quite frankly, our minds aren't consistent enough to be left to their own devices. They need training before we can trust them to be sober

You can do whatever you want and be defined by nothing or anything. It's entirely up to you. Everyone is different.

It does seem though that a big part of many peoples recovery is giving back though. I think that is a normal human reaction, to want to help people who are in a similar situation to where we have been. I for one am incredibly grateful for those that stick around here and don't see them as morose at all. Just grateful, empathetic, and generally useful x

sunrise1

Donenow, that's what I USED to want too! I wanted to swallow the magic pill and never look back. Forget any of it ever happened and close the door.

I do frequent the rooms of AA, have a sponsor, and the fixin's that go along with it. I find the 12 steps make everything in my life make more sense, have more sanity, more honesty and meaning through using it in my life.

Having had that happen, it's hard not to WANT to help someone else have that happen to them. And- there are great friends to be made in the rooms of AA, those who understand everything about what I've gone through, and who won't judge me by what I've done in the past. AA is the closest I've come to spirituality, which I've struggled with all my life.

In short, I am one of those people, who when she was finally done drinking, kicked it and went on. But I don't want anyone else to feel alone on the journey and it makes me a better person. Make sense?

Truly I'm happy. Truly I don't miss it.

sobergirl77

Well, I'm sober right now and I'm not counting days nor going to meetings except every now and then. I had to find a new solution because AA was not my solution, nor will it ever be. For me it is simply a tool of many I can use.

Also, unlike many others, I believe people can become fully recovered and never look back, or have to go to meetings sitting around talking steps, defects in character or never recovering or trusting yourself. I personally know at least 5 people who have done this. (They all study metaphysics, which is a study beyond the physical where you are forced to look deeply within yourself anyway).

I don't think about alcohol these days, except when I go to meetings.

My methods of 'recovery' are a bit controversial, they involve spiritual energetic healing, metaphysics, enlightened teachers, self responsibility, meditation, choice and a bit of eastern Buddhist practices. Last night I did attend a meeting and a guy with 40 years said "I'm an alcoholic, period. I don't have a choice." That was so depressing to hear. It's like, even after 40 years he needs meetings and doesn't consider himself recovered.

We may not have a choice once we've taken that first drink, but we certainly have a choice to take drastic (if necessary) measures not to take that first drink. We have a choice if we want to be a 'victim' of a 'disease' our entire lives, or simply start believing what many think to be impossible, but isn't.

donenow

Again, thanks for the posts everyone. It's so heartening and encouraging. I'm a bower bird and find all these stories help me by giving me perspective and peace, I love learning how others overcome the struggles and find their own peace. I know I'm good today but feel safer about getting through the next bad patch thanks to sr! Love to know that it's not going anywhere too!