Expectations are killing me
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Bridgeton
Posts: 718
I totally relate to JSCH's mindset. I am almost 17 months sober and hit speedbumps on a regular basis. I then try to hit more meetings that week. This was one of those weeks. And yesterday in the midst of my chaotic mindset, I was scheduled to be a speaker at a rehab. I really didn't want to go do it as I was not feeling I could deliver a good message of strength & hope to these 'newcomers'. I went & did the best I could do. My expectations are a victim partially to my circumstances that are a result of my drinking. I lost my license for 10 years and live alone in the country. The degree of difficulty in doing anything is high as a result of this. I work 5 days a week, humbly riding a bicycle to work daily. I can't afford professional counseling so I use AA as my guide there. I struggle to TRUST in the reason that the way things are the way they are is for some REASON that is unknown to me at this point in my life. I believe this is called FAITH. I can not give up on faith, because that is what I hang onto to--it's my life preserver. What Bob said scares me. For I too have asked myself is life worth really living? I try to be grateful for what I do have & who I have in my life and then think it is selfish for me to think that way and how it would affect those I love & who love me. I hope & pray daily that everything will eventually work out as long as I keep going in the right direction and do the next right think. At times (like this week) it is a tightrope walk. I strive & pray for inner peace daily--I keep telling myself it does take time & try to practice patience.
jsch,
I only have 7 weeks but my life is still way better then it was when I was drinking. I know that life has its share of random chaos, ups and down etc.. whether I am drinking of not, but it is so much better without the boozing. When I quit smoking it took me a couple of years to stop thinking about it. I figure it will take me a long time as well to stop thinking about alcohol so much.
I only have 7 weeks but my life is still way better then it was when I was drinking. I know that life has its share of random chaos, ups and down etc.. whether I am drinking of not, but it is so much better without the boozing. When I quit smoking it took me a couple of years to stop thinking about it. I figure it will take me a long time as well to stop thinking about alcohol so much.
I struggle to TRUST in the reason that the way things are the way they are is for some REASON that is unknown to me at this point in my life. I believe this is called FAITH. I can not give up on faith, because that is what I hang onto to--it's my life preserver. What Bob said scares me.
For I too have asked myself is life worth really living? I try to be grateful for what I do have & who I have in my life and then think it is selfish for me to think that way and how it would affect those I love & who love me.
I hope & pray daily that everything will eventually work out as long as I keep going in the right direction and do the next right think. At times (like this week) it is a tightrope walk. I strive & pray for inner peace daily--I keep telling myself it does take time & try to practice patience.
For I too have asked myself is life worth really living? I try to be grateful for what I do have & who I have in my life and then think it is selfish for me to think that way and how it would affect those I love & who love me.
I hope & pray daily that everything will eventually work out as long as I keep going in the right direction and do the next right think. At times (like this week) it is a tightrope walk. I strive & pray for inner peace daily--I keep telling myself it does take time & try to practice patience.
Fear is an expected emotion when we are in despair, when we struggle, when our faith is tested. It does take courage to examine the veracity of our fears, and courage can be found in our determination to do the next right thing no matter how often we yet still struggle. This is when time is important, when we struggle...
There are many resources which can be looked into concerning depresson and despair. Although struggles with alcoholism/sobriety can account for some depression/despair, things can reach a point when medical services become important to make some use of to help one through such experiences, has been my experience.
I'm a spiritual person living a spiritual life, and so of course faith is central to my being who and what I am. Faith though is not simply something I can apply to my challenges, like I can apply an ointment to a sore, and so, faith is not always my sole remedy. I also examine my own common sense, my past and present experiences, the experience of others, and finally, I examine how healthy is my detachment from my many challenges... detachment is absolutely essential for healthy and prosperous living.
bryangt, you present to me as one who is informed, and self-aware of your challenges. Your sharing and posting on SR is good evidence of your power to appreciate your day-to-day experiences. Keep sharing, and I'm sure you'll receive alot of support from others who feel as you do.
Life does get better, and faith is a wonderful power to hold onto, as you know. Please also know that struggles and challenges before each of us in our lives does not always speak to our real worth, and so please do not feel or otherwise believe your present life is all there is forevermore... I've come from very difficult places and times in my own life, and I'm here to tell you life is still a beautiful thing even when its difficult.
"The goal should be to teach people to learn to think for themselves."
and how is that to be done if all a person has to go off of is their own thinking? should a person just grab someone off the street who has no clue and ask for their advice, or should they be getting assistance form those that have been there and have the knowledge and experience of what does and doesnt work?
guess this confused me a bit on why bob was criticized.
alcoholics are very hard headed people and the message must have depth and weight.
and how is that to be done if all a person has to go off of is their own thinking? should a person just grab someone off the street who has no clue and ask for their advice, or should they be getting assistance form those that have been there and have the knowledge and experience of what does and doesnt work?
guess this confused me a bit on why bob was criticized.
alcoholics are very hard headed people and the message must have depth and weight.
Bob & tomsteve, my post wasn't meant to be a slam. The very depth and weight of the message and promises can often be very confusing. All support programs, even AA with the additional spiritual component, are limited in regard to what they alone can do for an individual.
A person must learn to think for themselves if they are to recognize when their particular issues are out of the purview of what the support group can help with. Lets use depression/anxiety as an example, if you've been going to a support group for a number of years and these issues have not improved you must realize that there is a lot of help out there for these problems, you must seek it out tho. I know a few people who got over depressions with AA alone and others years out who really have not seen much of a change.
It does seem that it would be very easy for a person to work a program, have it work wonders in their life and form a train of logic that centers around the notion that because it worked for me then it should work for everyone. The success rates of all methods seem to point in the opposite direction, for whatever the reason. I think the take home message is that you must remain open-minded to all forms of help, the gold nuggets are scattered everywhere if you just look hard enough.
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