Gingerz

In the last month I have drank three times. I get a terrible hangover where I can't function or take care of my 21 month old baby my husband has taken over these few times but I don't want to drink anymore ! My husband is an alcoholic and drinks everyday and I have been feeling like I really wish I could have a few drinks and have fun with him ! I quit drinking and using drugs in June 2007 and have relapsed a couple times first time lasted a few months (before I got pregnant ) second time just recently . Guess I'm having a hard time with this right now . When I got sober I didn't do it through meetings and the 12 steps so I thought this would be a good place to get advice !! I know I need to be sober for my baby being that his Dad is an alcoholic and I don't want that to be all he sees . He is a "happy" drunk and not violent or mean at all .After a couple years of zero drinking I start feeling like maybe I could just have a couple drinks sometimes I do but sometimes I can't stop myself . Not even sure what my question is just needed to vent thanks
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bbthumper

Ive been sober for 4 years through AA. I have heard a lot of stories similar to yours. Have you considered looking for meetings in your area?

Gingerz

I have thought about it . Sounds stupid but I'm really not comfortable sharing about myself in person that's why I came here .

bbthumper

I was absolutely terrified to share in front of anyone before going to AA. NIce thing is you never have to share if you dont want to. Or you can go to speaker meetings where only one person shares. Recovery is not easy at first. In most cases we need to get out of our comfort zones. The nice thing is that most people find their comfort zones grow very quickly. Your disease is going to want you to isolate. It feels natural, but its not healthy.

I hope you give it a shot.

Gingerz

I think I have to !! I've been trying by myself for 5 years . First time I didn't have a drink for 3 years 2nd time lasted 2years . I need support my husband doesn't understand and thinks I exaggerate my hangovers but they double me over and I throw up sometimes every hour until 10 pm. This last time I "tried to drink" I had a total of 4 beers in between each I drank a big cup of water. I was sick in the morning throwing up until 3 pm

Gingerz

A big problem for me is everyone who comes to our house drink with my husband . They have campfires in the front yard , play music and drink . I just feel left out I guess and I need to get over it ! Everything seems so clear once I type it out ! Scary

CarolD

I think your body is telling you that it no longer wants the toxin
and alcohol is really a toxic liquid.....

When you did not drink before....what did you do when around drinkers?
You overcame that so of course you can again.

Welcome to our recovery community...

Gingerz

I just drank juice or coffee ! It was a lot easier years ago because I was such an alcoholic that I would wake up and drink just vodka I was also doing lots of drugs and just really sick!! I knew that I couldn't drink without having a week long party so it wasn't an option! I haven't touched a drug in 5 years even during my "relapse"periods I just drink and it's one day and about a week to recover completely. I agree my body just doesn't want any alcohol anymore it can't handle it . Sad that I even looked up responsible drinking and gave it a go (water in between 1drink an hour)and still major hangover !

2granddaughters

Ginger, I suggest you Google and read AA's "The Doctors Opinion", "How It Works" and "The Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous". Can you identify with those documents? Are you an alcoholic as described in those texts? Then AA is for you.

I wish you the best on your road to recovery.

Bob R

bbthumper

Those feelings of being left out definitely are tough, but I promise you the 12 steps have helped millions of alcoholics and addicts get through it and so much more. I wish you and your family the best!

Gingerz

I think I'm going to look up places near me where I can begin the journey (12 steps) I do feel majorly nervouse though !¡

tomsteve

wellll, bbthumper took another part of my uniqueness away!!! i had major fear of sharing about me and how screwed up i was at meetings, let alone with just one person!! fear of being criticized for how i was, fear of rejection. "man, you aint sick enough, come back when you are." yeah, i was quite a sick man.
what i did was got me some courage. i had to! my thinkin wasnt workin to fix my thinkin and i couldnt get someone elses thinkin without opening up. so i got the courage.
ya know what happened?? i found out there was absolutely nothing unique about how i felt about myself. thgere were many poeple who had been there and found a solution and were more than willing to help me learn how to get weller! it has been an awesome journey!! i found my home and family in AA. we're all there because we aint all there and we help each other get closer to being all there.

Tommyh

being powerless over alcohol means i will drink again some day,because i always gave in to some stupid excuse to drink,no matter what my motives and intentions.
nothing I could do would keep me sober and happy long term

reading the big book and maybe hitting some meetings sounds like a great idea to me.You do not have to share anything,just listen if you want too

Gingerz

Tommyh I mean is that part of the program? Being powerless and doomed to drink again? If it is then maybe I'm doing ok on my own I did go 3 years and then 2 years. Is it possible to get a sponcer without going to meetings?

bbthumper

I think he meant you will drink again without AA. Tommy, correct me if I'm wrong.

AA promises permanent sobriety when the steps are worked thoroughly. Relapse is common, but certainly not necessary.

tomsteve

it does not mean you will drink again and you are not doomed if you follow a few simple suggestions.

iffen ya google big book online, you'll find it where you can read it online. read the doctors opinion and more about alcoholism.

tomsteve

welllll, guess i forgot i sent ya the link for it. sobriety doesnt necessarilyy make memory improve.

Gingerz

I went to a meeting with a friend once and they all signed and gave me the book .i will get it out and read it !!