EmmyG

My husband is a binge drinker, and considers himself a problem drinker but not an alcoholic. I'm just curious what others would call it. He will go six months and and last time a year without drinking, then a social event will come up and he'll have a drink to be normal, then end up on a bender and end up in the drunk tank. He acts like a different person when he drinks, super angry or emotional. The weird thing is, he doesn't struggle with the desire to drink on a daily basis. There can be alcohol in the house for months and he won't touch it, and I never worry about him drinking when we go somewhere together because he just doesnt. But when an occasion arises, like a few months ago when an old friend from England came to visit, he gave in and drank "to be normal." He's thinking about trying something like SMART recovery meetings, but it's tough because even professionals have told him he's not addicted.

suki44883

Binge drinkers can most definitely be alcoholic. Alcoholism is not determined with how often one drinks. It is determined by how alcohol affects a person. If, on the occasions when he does drink, he loses control, is unable to control the amount he drinks, chances are that he could be alcoholic.

justhadenough

only the individual can say if they have a problem or are an alcoholic. Does your husband's drinking have consequences/does he think he has a problem/does he want to quit

No one here can tell you but if he thinks he has a problem(and if he has it will get worse) then if he come s on here he'll get great support and help.

MetalChick

I had a few friends that would get hammered maybe once or twice a year, but they were not trying to have just a couple, they meant to drink to get drunk. It wasn't like all of a sudden they lost control. I don't know your hubby's whole story. Does he intend to just drink a couple and then drinks a bottle? I know for me I could never have alcohol in the house and not drink it, and once I started drinking I would drink all day, What happened the last time he drank with his friend from the UK? Did he wind up in the drunk tank?

PaperDolls

I'm a binge drinking alcoholic.

I kept on drinking even though I didn't like the consequences when I did. I didn't like who I was when I was drunk and I didn't like how I felt the next day (or month).

Yet I kept on doing it.

That's the problem .... I kept on doing it ..... WISHING I was 'normal'. I was in denial.

If you touch a hot stove and it hurts, do you do it again? Probably not .... unless you've got an issue, or an addiction.

If he's not an alcoholic he can just not drink, not big deal, right?

But really -- you're hubby has to figure this out on his own.

bbthumper

Guess there is no definite rule of thumb, but I always answer this question woth what the Big Book of AA says about this.
"If, when you honestly want to, you find you cannot quit entirely, or if when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take you are probably alcoholic."



BB Quotes-First Edition

gottariseabove

I'm exactly the same way with alcohol. I can go without it if i want but when I DO drink i can't stop. This eventually led to me drinking more and more despite me hating myself when I'm drunk. Eventually I ended up in a hospital with an IV in my arm wanting to cry the rest of the day away (thank God for my great friends. I'm lucky enough to have 'drinking buddies' that were actually friends and actually cared about me, not everyone is). For so long I tried to deny that I had a problem with alcohol because i didn't "need" it. But when i got a little bit drunk I did feel like i needed it...as if me losing my buzz was the worst thing that could happen. If this is how one acts while drinking they should not drink. I've had several occasions where i have scared my friends to to my unresponsiveness after a night of drinking, things could have been much worse. I believe your husband is someone who should stay away from alcohol to avoid bad things happening. I guess there are some people who just can't drink.

CarolD

i know you have found our friends & family of Alcoholics Forum
I have read posts of yours.

While I agree counseling is a good idea...I suggest you try some
local Alanon meetings too...

All my best to you and your family

sugarbear1

The DSM V is considering (or will be) adding Binge Drinking as part of the medical community's definition of alcoholism.

Until your husband sees that he has a problem, nothing will be done about it. He has to be willing to do something about his problem. No one can tell him not to work the SMART program (or rational recovery).

I wish you both well,

aeo1313

That will be nice- then I will finally not feel like a "fake" alcoholic. Seriously.

TheOnlyDryPaddy

Is the DSM V Working Group actually going to add "addiction" itself to the DSM V? Or are they just shuffling around the criteria for "abuse" and "dependence"?

What people call the verying degrees of alcohol and other substance consumption is an extremely thorny matter, because, due to the fact each word has its own history in the discourse on psychotropic substance consumption, the medicalization of certain categorical descriptors is very problematic because of the connotations it would carry for such a descriptor. Sober Recovery may not be the proper forum on which to discuss the above issue as it is most definitely not directly about support. However, pointing out that the medical community in general and the DSM V Working Group in particular may not be using the same words as people on SR are using to describe SR members' personal experience nor do medical professionals necessarily mean the same things even if they are using the same words.

I am having trouble deciding where to end because discussing the above issues is opening a huge can of worms. Nonethless, what I think I'm trying to say is that one needs to be very careful when looking for validation in the medicalization of one's behavior, becuase how one's behavior is medicalized may be largely irrelevant to how one constructs one's identity around said behavior. Thus, just because the APA has decided to add "addiction" to the DSM V doesn't mean that the APA has validated "addiction" in the way that self-identified addicts perceive their own addiction.

NewBeginning010

Especially the "when drinking, you have little control over the amount you take you are probably alcoholic."

All of the best ~ NB