I feel so awful today that I just want to cry!
I looked like that holdin beer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 627
I think dating would probably be easier if it is someone that you met IRL and knew for a bit. I worked with my BF and we were friends for like 3 years before we dated, so there really wasn't too much of an issue with being nervous. Not saying you have to know someone that long, but I think blind dates and meeting someone for the first time that you have only talked to over the phone and online would make anyone a nervous wreak. That is just me.
Glad you are feeling better
Glad you are feeling better
I looked like that holdin beer
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 627
SummertimeHigh5
"When he told me that he did not want to be put into the "friend zone" (whatever)!!!! I freaked and tried too hard to make things work and blew it."
I relate to that if I am understanding you correctly. Sometimes the meaner a guy was, and the more aloof or rejecting they were, the harder I tried to win them over. I swear that men that are "not right" seem to have radar for that weakness.
Take care
"When he told me that he did not want to be put into the "friend zone" (whatever)!!!! I freaked and tried too hard to make things work and blew it."
I relate to that if I am understanding you correctly. Sometimes the meaner a guy was, and the more aloof or rejecting they were, the harder I tried to win them over. I swear that men that are "not right" seem to have radar for that weakness.
Take care
Run to live... live to run
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Western Maryland
Posts: 1,091
I don't think the problem is ever the REPLAPSE itself, but the act of being so depressed afterwards, that you keep drinking because you feel bad for yourself. Just start over.. You can do it!! (((hugs)))
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 83
Update~~~~~~~~~~~
Ok, I have not drank anymore that is the good thing and have thought about this new sobriety and dating thing and I talked to my sister who about 2 or 3 years ago went through a horrible time with her husband and had to go to an abused woman's shelter to get away from him. They were not really beating each other up but some stuff did happen and he just went off of the deep end (My sister and him have been married forever and he was always the perfect guy. Seriously.... It just goes to show you though) and she had to pretty much run for her life. Her husband kicked the oldest son (18) out and Her younger one (16) stayed and listens to his dad talk crap about my sister and will not see her. I feel so bad for her because she has always been very level headed and was the good one out of the two of us who never got into trouble, always behaved and kept her life in order.
Anyhow, she told me last night to ditch the guys for now, get my life in order and to focus on sobriety and that when the time is right that God would bring someone good into my life. She told me that I have got to learn how to be happy and comfortable alone first too. That really hit home since she has never been an alcoholic but she has the same father as me who she also seen die from it. She told me that it was a blessing for me to be sober and if mom were alive how ecstatic she would be to see me like this. It made me feel so good. Not because I have doubted anyone here and did not take your advise but because my sister also told me the same thing in her own words.
Needless to say... The guy who I went out with is still texting me. Not very often though. I have no idea what is going on here since I honestly felt like he was no longer interested in me after we went out although he never did say that he wasn't. Before we went out though, I never called or texted him first and he always came my way and I would respond from there. He called me all of the time, we talked for hours on the phone practically every night, he would text me all day long throughout the entire day and just stuff like that. What I do not get is why he is still texting? I know that it is not to be nice because he has had many outlets. His texts are also not responses to mine. He texts me just to text but it is more friendly now and nothing like he was communicating with me. What does this all mean?
From what I know is that if a man is not interested, he is not going to keep texting you unless it is a short and sweet/friendly response to something that you had texted first (they normally ignore you and not even give you that much though). However, why the two text a day thing? Why does he even bother and I have no idea where I stand with him because he certainly did not want to be friends. Can anyone shine some light on this for me? Also, thank you all so much for your responses. Sorry this is so long but you all are such a wonderful help!
Anyhow, she told me last night to ditch the guys for now, get my life in order and to focus on sobriety and that when the time is right that God would bring someone good into my life. She told me that I have got to learn how to be happy and comfortable alone first too. That really hit home since she has never been an alcoholic but she has the same father as me who she also seen die from it. She told me that it was a blessing for me to be sober and if mom were alive how ecstatic she would be to see me like this. It made me feel so good. Not because I have doubted anyone here and did not take your advise but because my sister also told me the same thing in her own words.
Needless to say... The guy who I went out with is still texting me. Not very often though. I have no idea what is going on here since I honestly felt like he was no longer interested in me after we went out although he never did say that he wasn't. Before we went out though, I never called or texted him first and he always came my way and I would respond from there. He called me all of the time, we talked for hours on the phone practically every night, he would text me all day long throughout the entire day and just stuff like that. What I do not get is why he is still texting? I know that it is not to be nice because he has had many outlets. His texts are also not responses to mine. He texts me just to text but it is more friendly now and nothing like he was communicating with me. What does this all mean?
From what I know is that if a man is not interested, he is not going to keep texting you unless it is a short and sweet/friendly response to something that you had texted first (they normally ignore you and not even give you that much though). However, why the two text a day thing? Why does he even bother and I have no idea where I stand with him because he certainly did not want to be friends. Can anyone shine some light on this for me? Also, thank you all so much for your responses. Sorry this is so long but you all are such a wonderful help!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Austin, Texas
Posts: 1,387
summertime,
That guy sounds a little weird to me. I think you should quit wasting your time and energy on trying to figure him out. Don't take any of his "rejection" or "approval" personally - I think he has issues.
If you have no desire to drink now that is great! Just keep taking it a day at a time. Best wishes.
That guy sounds a little weird to me. I think you should quit wasting your time and energy on trying to figure him out. Don't take any of his "rejection" or "approval" personally - I think he has issues.
If you have no desire to drink now that is great! Just keep taking it a day at a time. Best wishes.
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