Bazerington

Hi there, today is my 90th day, and I generally feel well. The only big problem I'm having now is racing thoughts and a feeling that I'm not doing anything productive with my life.
The more I think about how I've wasted a great deal of my life, the more the thoughts race. Has anyone else had this?

CarolD

Welcome to our Alcoholism forum
Well done on your 90 days...

Do you have any specific goals you want to accomplish
now that you are sober?
Please consider how to best move forward with whatever
interest you and that will enhance your life.

hypochondriac

Well done on 90 days!! I think that's productive enough so far, a massive achievement!

I had lots of regrets about wasted drunk time and the like but we can't wallow in the past. I think I posted on this too. I have found mindfulness meditation helped me stay in the present a bit more and not dwell on the past and the future.

I'm not sure I even know what productive life is...? I think if you have a positive impact on just one other person then it's a life worth living. I do work which I enjoy and some other people appreciate, that's enough for me. What do you think a productive life is Bazerington? x

NewBeginning010

Congrats on 90 days 7

You cant do anything about the past & your are not living in the future, you are only living in one moment & that is now ;-)

Take care & be easy on yourself, you have done something wonderful & quit this poison. Keep working on what you want & it will come.

Keep posting here on SR & sharing.... you will find it helps a lot.


Welcome to SR & take care

EDIT: Here is some good advice on The Power of Now from eckhart Toole

Eckhart Tolle - The Power of Now (part 1 of 2) on Vimeo

Here is another one on finding your life's purpose: Eckhart Tolle - Finding Your Life's Purpose on Vimeo

Check out his books, maybe start with the Power of Now ;-)

doggonecarl

Think about this: You haven't wasted the last 90 days! Congrats on being sober for three months.

RevivingOphelia

superduper on the 90 days!

racing thoughts suck

i try to occupy myself with mindless tv or internet surfing (here a lot!) when that happens.

sometimes a hot bath or a walk helps too.

i'm sorry you are experiencing this and hope it fades away soon!

Bazerington

I think it's just huge regrets that I let over half my life go by. I started drinking when I was 12, and I look at other people, and they have houses, and things... I KNOW they're not important, but... :-)
I would like a family, a life, some hope... But then that all sounds so self-pitying!!!!!!! :-)
Thanks everyone

freshstart57

Bazerington, congratulations on the 3 months sober. That was sort of a milestone for me, at that point I was beginning to settle in to my new way of looking at things.

I feel like you received some excellent resources from NewBeginning10, I am going to check those out right now. I hope your way forward brings you the meaning that you are looking for.

NYCDoglvr

Congratulations! 90 days is a huge accomplishment! Some of the best advice I heard: to get self-esteem you have make esteemable acts. Another thing: feelings aren't facts. Just because you think this way doesn't mean you're a failure. For me it helped to try to get out of my own screwed up head as possible. Got very active, went to a ton of meetings. Here's a guarantee: by staying sober you will do amazing things in life.

Scolova

I did not accomplish much in my first 100 (other than the huge accoplishment of sobriety), but after that things began to settle in my mind and I believe that is when my reparations (amends) began. I never was the type of drunk to screw everyone over, but some family\freinds had to deal with my doing-nothing-ness. The amends can be for both yourself as well as someone else, but don't just run right out and attempt some really hard ones, give it some time. Find things you can do or would like to do and read up on doing that better (lots of books and the web is full of good suggestions, if you search hard enough.)
Learning\working to let go of the resentment\pitty has been a huge part of my recovery and I would not be over 300 day sober if I still battled with it in my head daily.
Wish you the best and Congrats!

MetalChick

In my third week or so, I had a good, long, sobbing, heartfelt cry about the wasted time I spent drinking. I was truly grieving, but it is another thing when I let racing thoughts and self doubt interfere with my present and future plans.

Sometimes I just get really mad at that voice in my head; the racing thoughts, I yell and demand it to shut the "F" up! Then I go about my day being productive.

instant

Things really improved for me at 90 days. There were still major changes in the first six months. I think the "driven" nature of thinking and "obsessing" really does take quite a while to clear. I am now 14 months and I think there will still be changes. I am still getting my life together and getting used to being with myself and others. I considered myself high functioning.

I have also learned it is a choice as to if we get tied up in the emotion of the minute and take that as the gospel on the whole journey and future.

Roll with the punches and hang in there.

Brokenwings12

Happy 90 days keep it up. I will have 90 days soon.

soberbrooke

I am in my 7th month and I still have those thoughts!! Meditation really helps, I also take flower essences which have helped tremendously.
I finally have a plan to work on since yesterday, so that will hopefully get my thoughts to be more focused on my life plan now. It takes time........

sugarbear1

Make a short list of things you can accomplish today. Is there something to clean? Organize? Is there a bill you need to pay or a bill company to call to make arrangements? One little thing a day can make you feel more productive. And maybe then you can do two things. Be gentle on yourself so you don't feel overwhelmed and want to numb yourself, so a little at a time. In a month, you can look back and see all of your accomplishments.

We didn't get here over night, we don't get well over night, either.

Congratulations on 90 days! That is a HUGE accomplishment!!!

Bazerington

Thanks to everyone, all your messages have been a great help. Today is 92 days :-)!!
That is good enough for today :-)