Ash007

Why am I an alcoholic? I have no traumatic past, I love my OH and my kids, I am progressing in my career, things are looking up. I have no causes for this problem, yet here I am. I am pathetic and worthless, selfish and I dont know who I am anymore. Nothing touches my soul. I think I could control it but I have given up on everything. Whats wrong with me? Am I too lazy to try, too selfish to care, Too self-obsessed to consider anyone else's feelings? Is it right for me to burden other people with my meaningless questions? Shouldnt I deal with this alone? I should be more self contained, lift my chin up, suppress my angst and do the right thing, for everyone.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Ash

Addiction is addiction and theres rarely any logic, or even reason, to it.

I still don't know why I'm an alcoholic...but I have accepted it...and I am working to stay sober the rest of my life...I think that's the most important thing

good to have you join us - welcome

D

tomsteve

you are an alcoholic because you cant control your drinking. one problem with alcoholics is we have a tendancy to take a problem with a simple solution and turn it into a problem requiring quantum mechanics to solve.
now, instead of wondering why, how bout asking for a solution,eh?

what you describe is pretty common actions/ feelings/ emotions of an alcoholic, and you described me when i walked into the rooms of AA. i put in a lot of footwork to change me and am not that person anymore. quite a very happy, joyous, and free man today! i have worth, use, hope, and find it a pleasure to help others.

no, you arent burdening anyone with yer questions. how else are ya gonna learn?

2granddaughters

Google and read AA's "The Doctors Opinion" and "How It Works".

That will likely shed some light on your condition.

All the best.

Bob R

freshstart57

I was an alcoholic because I drank too much for too long. I became dependent on alcohol, both physically and psychologically. Eventually my growing tolerance to it started to tell - it is a depressant, and it sure as heck depressed me. Clinical depression and anxiety too.

Yikes! That was me to a T. I did a whole bunch of weeping, every day, for months just because of that crushing overwhelming darkness that I could not escape.

The day came when I decided to face this mess sober. Whatever it was, I was going to be present and face it head on. I took my last drink that morning.

Since then, those feelings of despair, shame and worthlessness lifted. They got a big boost the moment I made that vow to never drink anymore, there was this huge weight that was lifted off my shoulders. I never had to do those miserable shameful things that addicts do ever again.

The other problems I had started to shrink to the point that today, I can just take them in stride, along with all of the other everyday stuff that regular people deal with every day.

Maybe these thoughts can help you to see that you can make changes in yourself too. You just have to believe that you can.

zjw

Aside from heriditary reasons I read a book that theorized we start with say sugar for a fix as we get older we move on to alchol (another form of sugar) for our fix. Rather then simply getting proper nutrition so we feel well. So now we go into this lacking proper nutrition and punish our bodies with the alcohol by that point its too late we are hooked and its ruining us. The way out they said was nutrition and vitamins obviously programs like AA as well and support. It was an interesting read. WE all can find a zillion reasons why we drank. But something like this theory we might not simply think of. Sugar like caffine can get us swingen from one direction to the other just like alcohol.

Best bet is to get it in check and quit. Then your body starts to heal your mind starts to be come clearer. and Like tomsteve said not everythings rocket science. Sometimes you gotta accept things for how they are. Once you get you head clear that becomes easier.

CarolD

Please check out this link.....

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

While not everything applied to my drinking..
.it certainly opened my eyes about alcoholism

At the end of my drinking...I too was depressed and hopeless
for no outwardly reason. It was a dark time....I felt
my brain and soul had become saturated with alcohol...

That is when I began my AA recovery...and it's given me
so many blessings and guided me into joy and purpose.


Welcome to SR...