LostOnceAgain

I hope I don't offend anyone, I just really want to know. I am a addict, and my drugs of choice have always been cocaine/amphetamines/meth. My high that is pleasurable can only be derived from hard stimulants. I am the dope fiend in a family of alki's. My father is an active alcoholic, as is his 4 brother, both of my grandfathers experienced alcoholism, and my mother's sister is as well. My questiion, what does alcohol do for you that makes you want to compulsively drink til u cant stop. To me, when I drink, I get very sedated and mellow and then I fall asleep. Alcohol..i can take it or leave it. However, put a crack rock or a line of crystal meth in front of me and I am out of control. I guess my idea of a high is being geeked out, having inflated self ego, feeling invincible and on top of the universe for days on end til I go into psychosis. So for an alcoholic, is your high, drinking and drinking til you cant think about your stressors anymore. Is your sense of euphoria drinking so much alcohol that you cant stand up straight? Again, i mean no offense im just trying to understand alcoholism better. If anything, I would take being alcoholic over being a cracked out tweaker. Thanks for any input.

RevivingOphelia

DOC--alcohol hands down!

Pleasure Factor--a temporary reprieve from anxiety and stress. It worked better (temporarily of course!) than anything to lift that ever-present humming level of anxiety that I feel every day.

TexasBloom

Alcohol made me not feel. (And when I used any drugs, it was only to prolong those numbdrunk effects.)

When it didn't make the feelings go away any more (good and bad feelings), it wasn't "fun" or "happy". It sucked.

MetalChick

THIS THREAD SHOULD BE REMOVED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is very upsetting to me.

No offense. I do not want to even entertain the thought of why booze was pleasurable.

doggonecarl

No you wouldn't, but I can understand why you would say something like this. The worst drug is whichever one we're addicted to. Or which kills us.

Hope you find recovery and the blessings it brings.

aeo1313

Up until this past year I only drank in social situations. I loved being crazy and out-of-control. I loved saying and doing things I wouldn't do sober.

This past year I started opiates and I know they make some people feel really "up" I liked them bc I could take some and just lay there and "float". Same with pot. I liked the sedative affect. Combining pills and alcohol would make me feel really up at first...until I'd wake up covered in puke.

aeo1313

I was thinking this too, but then it really got me thinking. I ended my post with "covered in puke" to remind me what it was really like.

LostOnceAgain

Please don't yell at me by typing in caps. No this thread should not be removed. It is a genuine and educational inquiry I have always had. Since my addiction always revolved around stimulant abuse, I have always been curious why people find depressants like alcohol..even opiates and benzodiazepines euphoric enough to produce an addiction for them. Simply to educate my curiousity and hekp me understand why my family chose alcohol as their escape, what they saw as pleasurable because to me in my opinion no depressant is euphoric. I guess it falls on neurology and how our brains are wired.

MalkavianEmily

Now for me, on the occasions when I've had stimulants it's always been a case of 'meh, so what?'
But alcohol... well, it made me feel mellow, and relaxed... chilled... happy. Well, for a long time it did. At the end... it wasn't so much fun.

RevivingOphelia

Yep, me too which is why I included the caveat--temporarily--to describe the brief lifting of anxiety that alcohol provided.

Drawback? The multiplication of dread and anxiety (not to mention physical sickness) the next morning. UGH.

doggonecarl

We have a sticky at the top of the that might answer some of your questions.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

As for us telling you why we like alcohol, it would be like trying to explain why I like a food that you despise...you're never going to understand.

RevivingOphelia

hmmm...I'm not sure about that.

The non-drinkers in my life certainly were curious and seemed to understand my motivation as well as the pleasure principal behind my excessive drinking when I explained it to them.

oinobares

A large portion of my drinking career involved the enjoyment of wine, spirits, and beer for their taste, the sensorial aesthetic. Of course the chemical effects, the social lubrication, the muting of anxieties and fears, the stimulation of my imaginative and creative faculties, were significant too. Unfortunately, I finally ended up in a state where I had no control over how much I drank. I also started craving more and more after having just one. Thus, I am an alcoholic, and the benefits and enjoyments of moderate consumption of alcohol are now forever impossible for me.

I neither fear nor despise alcohol. I just can't drink it any longer. For me it's the first drink that lands me in a spiritual, social, and physical nightmare, so I don't take it.

aeo1313

I have wondered this too. I have had chemical depression my entire life and have wondered if this affected the way drugs/alcohol worked on me. In college I tried acid and shrooms and nothing ever happened (granted- maybe I was sold portabellas or something and ate a regular stamp) but I always wondered. Tons of people are addicted to benzos- but they had no affect on me except to make me sleepy. Our bodies are all so different, but they all work MUCH better clean and sober!!!

LostOnceAgain

And like I said, I meant no offense by my question, just a legit question. I wouldnt wish an addiction to rock cocaine or crystal meth on my worst enemy. I am certainly not doubting the power of alcoholism. I just don't understand it. I have stolen thousands from family to get that next hit of crack cocaine, lost my job, my apartment, pawned stolen goods, and even as far as performing homosexual acts just to get my fix, so yes If I only had the choice, keep in mind i am a sufferer of addiction, but I had the option to chose my substance it would be alcohol hands down. I never heard of an alcoholic that robs a gas station to get that beloved shot of liquor, or an alcoholic male that would go down on another male to get anothdr shot of vodka. Like I said, as addicts we choose uppers or downers and it seems that choice is dependant upon how our brains are wired. Im done.

rockindog

I believe that in the beginning, it was about a good time. It is now a nightmare that I am trying to escape. It is definitely still pleasurable, but I cannot continue my life the way it is. I have come to that point. I hope I can take the next step. It is ruining my life.

RevivingOphelia

Lost,

Yes, MetalChick vehemently disagreed with the premise of this thread; however, others have thoughtfully responded to your (I think appropriate questions, but I am rather new, so I may not know better *shrug) original post, which tells me that some members may also share your curiosity, and/or wish to share their experiences, on this topic.

I am sure that if the thread is inappropriate in any way, a moderator will let us know.

Personally, I like the topic and feel I could gain some insights that are grounded in your questions. If others do not agree, they will move on as they see fit.

Mel12

Dear list,

Thank you for your messages. With reference to RevivingOphelia and TexasBloom's messages, compared to alcohol, I find benzos better at stopping emotions and marijuana better at pleasurableness. Yet I do not use benzos or marijuana, but need to quit alcohol. If I regard alcohol to be a poor substitute that I never liked as much as other substances, why is alcohol my problem?

Social pressure, cultural acceptance of alcohol, and easy availability are certainly part of the answer.

Realizing I never much liked the effects of alcohol but passively fell into an increasing habit of social drinking, I hope, will make it easier for me to quit it.

Mel

RevivingOphelia

Mel,

If I could get my hands on benzos, I am SURE that I could replace or lessen my alcohol addiction for benzos. I had a brief prescription of ativan and, my god, that helped but doctors are very wary to prescribe them here--not to mention, when I told them I was worried about my excessive drinking...um, yeah, that was that with the benzos.

Someguy23

I am actually on both sides on this.

I'm an alcoholic, but I've always liked stimulants. My favorite thing was to combine them. Luckily, a history of heart problems in my family scared me off hard stimulants before I got addicted to them, but I still preferred my alcohol with at least a side order of caffeine after I quit them.

For me, stims brought the happy and the energetic but not the crazy. Adderall alone would just keep me up all night, working hard and feeling euphoric, but I wouldn't do anything I wouldn't do normally.

Alcohol brought the crazy. Beer alone would have me become boorish, reckless and outgoing, but then I'd start shutting down and go to bed.

Both together... well, ended in me joining this site...