Sober 1 day and then drank
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Utah
Posts: 54
aasharon90 - thanks again! I really needed to hear your words. I totally agree that I need to get out of myself, and into helping others that are struggling, which in turn will help me out. Funny how I've "forgotten" what I really need to be doing. Our Alano Club here has a great noon meeting that always has a lot of newcomers. I need to start going to that meeting again and reaching out to help the newcomer. After all, my 13 years of sobriety is still with me, thank God.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Baton Rouge, La.
Posts: 15,237
I have to remember that my 21 yrs is just a
number of yrs. sober, a bunch of one days at
a time to get me where I am today. What has
kept me sober is the quality of my sobreity/
recovery and not just quantity.
For you, your quantity can now be quality soberiety.
When I was a child, my mom use to clean the
sacrasty in back of our Catholic Church and my
brothers were alter boys. Out of 4 kids my mom
had, I was the chosen one to abstain physical,
verbal, mental, emotional abuse at her hands.
Sad to say, she was dealing with her own demons
with alcohol and prescription meds and her own
childhood abuse passing it on to me.
Anyway, many times i wished over the years I
would have been born a boy just so I could be
an alterboy and possibly one day a priest just so
I could be that close to God like they could.
Well, that wasnt meant to be in my life and thus
understand why I am not that but I am an Alcoholic
in recovery doing God's will and helping others just
as Jesus did when preaching the word.
No, im no holy roly and dont preach, but thru my
own faith and the spiritual part of my program it
helps me to share my own ESH with others that are
still struggling with addiction in order to help me
stay sober one more day and live a healthy, happy,
honest life in recovery.
You can too.
number of yrs. sober, a bunch of one days at
a time to get me where I am today. What has
kept me sober is the quality of my sobreity/
recovery and not just quantity.
For you, your quantity can now be quality soberiety.
When I was a child, my mom use to clean the
sacrasty in back of our Catholic Church and my
brothers were alter boys. Out of 4 kids my mom
had, I was the chosen one to abstain physical,
verbal, mental, emotional abuse at her hands.
Sad to say, she was dealing with her own demons
with alcohol and prescription meds and her own
childhood abuse passing it on to me.
Anyway, many times i wished over the years I
would have been born a boy just so I could be
an alterboy and possibly one day a priest just so
I could be that close to God like they could.
Well, that wasnt meant to be in my life and thus
understand why I am not that but I am an Alcoholic
in recovery doing God's will and helping others just
as Jesus did when preaching the word.
No, im no holy roly and dont preach, but thru my
own faith and the spiritual part of my program it
helps me to share my own ESH with others that are
still struggling with addiction in order to help me
stay sober one more day and live a healthy, happy,
honest life in recovery.
You can too.
Guest
Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 3,452
Originally Posted by Bratforlife 
Wow tomsteve - what a great message and kick in the pants for me - thank you!!! This is what I know is great about alcoholics who are in recovery and really care to see the drunk get sober. You are absolutely right - my thread title wasn't correct insofar as being sober 1 day. It was just a day of not drinking. Sobriety, as I very well know, comes after a lot of work. I don't want to disappoint myself again, nor do I want to disappoint the friends I have made here that genuinely care about me. You have really given me some hard facts that I need to stare in the face. Thank you again.
Every recovery starts with one day.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I strongly suggest you do get back to your AA HG
and begin to do the Steps....
You may have done them before....but a fresh start is a wise move IMO
Forward we go...side by side
and begin to do the Steps....
You may have done them before....but a fresh start is a wise move IMO
Forward we go...side by side
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Utah
Posts: 54
Did OK today - although it was very tough, to say the least. It really, really sucks trying to get sober again. I am just SO totally amazed that I had 13 years of sobriety, and then went back out. That really sucks and honestly, I have no reasonable explanation - other than I just "wanted to drink".
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Ontario Canada
Posts: 202
You need this for yourself. Saying you havent just let yourself down you've let us down isnt true. The matter of fact is that youre trying to stay sober. Sometimes we all dont grasp onto being sober long enough right away. I have been in AA for about 3 years now... Not once did I stay sober long enough until now. Im 11 months sober now and I have never obtained this long before. I am happily involved with a girlfriend and this upcoming Tuesday we'll be celebrating 8 months of being together.
I know its hard right now for you. I have been down that path many times. But its something you;ll really want to do. Not for us... but for yourself. Ive had the chance to speak my story at AA meetings 4 times now and its a thrill to finally speak in front of people whom I give hope to, some got emotional when I last spoke on Sunday and my girlfriend heard my story for the first time ever and was proud of me. I too once never believed I could stay sober until I came close to death from drinking too much for 4 days straight with no food, water or sleep. I am also a diabetic so my readings must have been through the roof. I drank... puked... drank puked it out again. Thats how crazy I was, I kept trying to keep it down and m y insides were on fire and hurting. Luckily I never saw any blood in my puke because thatd mean bad signs of close to death, But I knew I was on the verge as soon as I closed my eyes my heart stopped a couple of times and I had to get adrenaline in me and forced myself to stay up and drink.
That was my final bottom. I couldnt do it anymore and I begged my higher power for help and he gave it to me... but it didnt come easily and there were tons of hardships to overcome... detoxing was a nightmare, I could barely walk and when I worked I got so dizzy and tired from moving only a few minutes. it was scary. But as the fog lifted and I felt better I met the one whom I love today of almost 8 months. She has helped me in alot of ways.... when it finally came time to let her know of my alcoholism she understood and supports me to this very day she doesnt judge me by my past, she is proud that I move on and get stronger every day. If you work hard to be sober you'll reap the rewards of being sober. I hope you try and get yourself help. Because one day you'll be able to look at this and really see how you were able to get on your feet and stick with it. good luck
I know its hard right now for you. I have been down that path many times. But its something you;ll really want to do. Not for us... but for yourself. Ive had the chance to speak my story at AA meetings 4 times now and its a thrill to finally speak in front of people whom I give hope to, some got emotional when I last spoke on Sunday and my girlfriend heard my story for the first time ever and was proud of me. I too once never believed I could stay sober until I came close to death from drinking too much for 4 days straight with no food, water or sleep. I am also a diabetic so my readings must have been through the roof. I drank... puked... drank puked it out again. Thats how crazy I was, I kept trying to keep it down and m y insides were on fire and hurting. Luckily I never saw any blood in my puke because thatd mean bad signs of close to death, But I knew I was on the verge as soon as I closed my eyes my heart stopped a couple of times and I had to get adrenaline in me and forced myself to stay up and drink.
That was my final bottom. I couldnt do it anymore and I begged my higher power for help and he gave it to me... but it didnt come easily and there were tons of hardships to overcome... detoxing was a nightmare, I could barely walk and when I worked I got so dizzy and tired from moving only a few minutes. it was scary. But as the fog lifted and I felt better I met the one whom I love today of almost 8 months. She has helped me in alot of ways.... when it finally came time to let her know of my alcoholism she understood and supports me to this very day she doesnt judge me by my past, she is proud that I move on and get stronger every day. If you work hard to be sober you'll reap the rewards of being sober. I hope you try and get yourself help. Because one day you'll be able to look at this and really see how you were able to get on your feet and stick with it. good luck
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Utah
Posts: 54
Thanks theojibway! Sorry for the multiple posts saying I was going to bed. For some reason, my computer didn't show the first post, so I posted again and it still didn't show, thus the third post. Crazy! Your words are an inspiration to me and I'm so glad to hear that you were finally able to crasp staying sober. Reading posts such as yours tells me once again that there is hope for us all. Good luck to you also on your journey.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Utah
Posts: 54
Just checking in . . . I went to a friend's cabin last Friday and got back in town late last night. I had planned on staying all of this week, but some other friend's showed up at the cabin and it turned into one big party. I didn't have my car, so couldn't leave. They were all drinking and it was Hell. Unfortunately, I gave into the demon and drank over the weekend. Thank God, I was finally able to catch a ride back to my home. So here I am, beating myself up big time! I want to be honest with the people here that have been so kind and supportive of me - so telling on myself. I'm sick of starting over, but what choice do I have. None. Sick and tired of being sick and tired - sound familiar . . .
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: London, England
Posts: 724
Bratforlife, don't beat yourself up. Learn from this and move forwards.
All you can do, the best thing you can do, is to pick yourself up and start again. Actually, other than that, what you can do is be kind to yourself. Do something that makes you happy. Other than drinking, if it still does that.
We're here for you. We aren't going to sit in judgement. We've all slipped up. Well, I know I have. We understand.
And don't give up on yourself. You're better than that. You deserve to be sober. You deserve to be happy. Don't forget that, ok?
What are you going to do next?
All you can do, the best thing you can do, is to pick yourself up and start again. Actually, other than that, what you can do is be kind to yourself. Do something that makes you happy. Other than drinking, if it still does that.
We're here for you. We aren't going to sit in judgement. We've all slipped up. Well, I know I have. We understand.
And don't give up on yourself. You're better than that. You deserve to be sober. You deserve to be happy. Don't forget that, ok?
What are you going to do next?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Utah
Posts: 54
Thank you MalkavianEmily for your kind words. Today I'm going to stay positive and try not to think about this past weekend. As many have said, yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn't here yet. SO I need to stay in the moment. I'm also going to dive back into the Big Book :-)
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