SamanthaIam

First of all, I drank. that's the worst thing.

Why? my H is abusive again.... but I kept trying to keep it together, faking it. The anxiety got to be too much.

Last thing I remember is I was making dinner for a dinner party, I was talking to my ddaughter's lawyer because she is being taken to court over some NOTHING a-hole and their divorce, I was trying to get ready for this party, and the next thing I know I wake up and everyone is gone.

I am here alone

I don't think I said anything to anyone, but I am bracing for the anger and the punishment

Hope anyone is there... I don't know what happened and I am really scared about my H and what he will say. also, where is my daughter?

I think they will pile on and hate me, and I hate me too, but ???

should I call the police?

where is everyone?

SamanthaIam

please, if anyone is on the site tonight, please answer...

this is freaky... everyone is gone. Should I disappear too? or call the police?

Ultimately, my family is going to hate me and blame me and there will be no understanding for the punishment H has put me through.

It will all be my fault.

what do I do now?

this is PErFECT for my abusive husband! Total win. If I die, this is 100% WIN for him.

PaperDolls

If you feel you or someone else are in danger, call the police now!

aeo1313

If you are scared and feel in danger call 911.

Have you called your family members or any friends?

Do you not even remember taking the first drink? Was the alcohol combined with anything else?

If you do not feel safe with your husband is there any other place for you to stay for a while?

SamanthaIam

I don't have any family or friends.

My little dog is gone too...

this is all my fault because I picked up and got drunk. It is late and everyone is gone. I swear, I only picked up because he is abusive.

I know it isn't right but

Malachi

Please call someone. Family, friends, police, your sponsor if you have one.

aeo1313

Your health and safety is important. You are important and deserve to be treated with love and respect.

Please keep us updated.

aeo1313

There must be an AA hotline you can call. Or domestic abuse hotline.

I'm on my phone and can't look it up. Will try to get on computer unless someone else can post numbers.

Lenina

Sam,

Is there anyway possible for you to check into hospital for detox and then rehab? you might be able to do this through the ER. call and see. They might be able to arrange a cab to pick you up.

I'm so worried for you.

Love from Lenina

CarolD

Sam...

Take a deep breath....and then look in your phone book for a
Domestic Violance Center....explain that you livde with an abusive husband. See what is available in your area.

Even if you don't use the info tonight....it's good to have..

Zee

Can you remember anything? Maybe they just took the dog for a walk. (?)
Any clues in the kitchen or dining room?

Dee74

There's some really good advice here Sam.


Try to remain calm - the most important thing here is your safety - if you feel that's in danger please do call someone - whether it be the police, ER or Domestic Violence or whatever

D

SamanthaIam

I thought I responded a few moments ago to update:

He came back and dropped off the dog.. thank God she is safe.

I still don't know what is going on. Between the abuse = the mind f**k I really just feel at times I don't want to live anymore. I've been happy on sobriety lately, but this guy is just killing me.

Oh... and he would blame me for saying so.

Lenina

Sam,

honey, sounds like you need to get out of there. Please do call the Domestic Violence line and see if they can help. consider inpatient rehab. It will give you some distance and a chance to get some clarity. Don't drink. You deserve better.

Love from Lenina

CarolD

When I left my abusive husband...I hightailed out of state
after I stopped at a lawyers and cleaned out our bank accounts...

I never went or looked back....

SamanthaIam

thsnk you.. checking out the sticky about FEELING SUICIDAL

this is weird, I don't feel "suicidal" in the ways you all think about this...

this isn't about being dramatic or whatever, I don't want to punish anyone or prove any point

He called an hour ago and said he was coming back to "take care of me" --

but he also yelled

and he hasnt come back yet.

Dee74

I think Lenina and Carols advice is excellent Sam.

noone ever deserves to live in fear.

D

HitRockBottom70

Sam,
Does he physically harm you? Are you in physical danger now?

How much did you drink? Is there a chance you were drugged?

HitRockBottom70

Oh, your answer was there after I wrote. Please call the police ASAP!

SamanthaIam

I do not want to worry anyone, so I am posting that I am not hurting myself tonight or causing any harm to myself.

abusive husband called to say I SUCK and he is coming home because he needs a shower ??) but he has not shown up yet